Shit that makes you feel old

I’ll start, I left a clothes shop today completely based on the fact that the music was too loud.

Teenagers look like they’re up too no good all the time.

Cartoons aren’t as good as they used to be and chocolate bars are smaller.

Girls in their 20’s telling you they were born in the 90’s

When you put your mickey back in your trousers post shake having taking a piss and you leek out a few more drops.

Chatting about soccer to a lad who’s in college who’s never heard of Gary Breen

I’m also increasingly angered by noise.

A mad one is that we’re closer to 2040 than 1980.

All of the above… I also over the last year or so struggle to recall names of bands, actors or movies that I have known all my life.

Professional footballers retiring whose debuts you remember. The sons of professional footballers, whose entire career you remember, now playing. Tom Ince, for example.
My fancy lady telling me a story about her friend getting dumped maliciously by a girl from Galway who broke it off because she wanted to bang Les Ferdinand. And it not being that weird.

Having a child.

Enjoying a nice sit-down.

Walked out of a bar Friday night because it was way too crowded and loud.

The age profile of famous sportspeople is another one for me.

  1. Your on the same team as lads half your age

  2. You can remember well when these lads were Born

  3. There really is only the one half in you

Markin a lad half your age in a junior game and realising the all the experience in the world is no substitute for the genuine speed of young legs.

I remember one day I had to throw out cans in my press because they were gone off. That was the day I realised I was getting old. There was a time all cans would be consumed within hours of purchase.

I also have zero interest in night clubs these days and would rather pay €6 a pint than go somewhere like diceys, which is the kind of establishment I revelled in, in my youth

You’d sooner a cup of tea in the evening than a bottle of beer.

You get great satisfaction from a clean bathroom

Cans of alcohol?? That’s just weird. Even the old man, or my grandad in his day, would ensure any stock was gotten through in good time.

I’ve zero interest in nightclubs myself, though, I agree with that one. I always preferred the cans in someone’s house, talking rubbish, taking the piss out of each other and playing music before going out anyhow.

The farmyard wouldn’t tolerate shit like this.

Anyway, arthritis, joint replacement and failing eyesight. That’s what make me feel old.


I think most lads do and only suffer discos for one reason.


This one for me. Playing with the sons of lads you started out with, looking around and realising one night that you’re the oldest on the 15, looking around another night and realising you’re in the top 5 oldest lads on the pitch.

Finding grey in your chest hair.