A few of these have been flying around my head today:
- Where were you? I was about to send out a search party.
- It’s not you I don’t trust - it’s him.
- I suppose I just didn’t think. That’s your problem - you never think.
Anymore?
‘We need to talk.’
‘I didn’t mean for anything to happen.’
‘It’s not you, it’s me.’
‘Howya there Bella?’
someone puts on a brilliant show of love to a spouse they’re cheating on just until the moment when they hug and put their head on his/her shoulder. …Then all the evil comes out in their eyes as the smirk plays across their face…
Note to soap wives - push back quickly when hugged and look at husbands face for tell tale signs.
Almost exclusive to Home and Away:
Young ruffian comes into town leaving a trail of destruction, everyone hates him…3 weeks down the line he is the golden boy, living with irene, and is riding the hottest young one in it…
“We need to tell z about this”, as said by x to y
where
x = a random person
y = a friend of z but of the opposite sex
z = x’s boy/girlfriend
This is often said after x and y had an innocent chat then looked at eachother as though they were about to kiss before looking away all embarrassed, i.e they had a moment.
Weddings and funerals just never seem to go off without a hitch.
The particular streets the soap characters live on have by far the highest per capita murder rates of any street in the civilised world.
Every wedding reception is in the local bar, not even the function room/lounge, but the bar!
No two people ever have the same first name
Sad fuckers like Ken Barlow and Paul Brennan get to go through an endless supply of women, which gives false hope to their real life equivalent… i.e the flanos of this world.
People getting Amnesia. Neighbours had Harold and Susan getting the condition.
I’m a one woman man, at least thats what your Ma thinks.
Another classic Home and Away one:
Birds getting the better of fellas in a race or competition or something. Anyone remember the raft race where Danni Minouge sabotaged the blokes raft and the birds won? Anyone?
Maybe I just dreamt it…
Can’t believe this hasn’t been mentioned already - I already mentioned it today in another thread. Somebody in Neighbours gets a terrible injury resulting in them going into a coma. The relatives gather round in various states of distrerss and hope and prayer and recrimination. Then Karl Kennedy or Doug Willis or Jim Robinson or whoever reassure them with the immortal words - “she’ll be fine - she’s a fighter” (more often than not it’s a she - not always but 70% of the time). Then they die.
what ever happend to bouncer?
Applicable to Home and Away also.
That time Hayley and Brodie crashed the car into the tree and went flying out through the windscreen for example.
‘You’ve got to believe she’ll pull through Irene. Hayley’s a fighter.’
Sally was a fighter when she got stabbed too. As was Kim when he took a drugs overdose.
And many others too. Great fighters one and all.
Just to clear up any confusion…Eastenders is not filmed in the East End of London and features no genuine Cockneys.
The black art of say Norris in Corrie giving change by putting his hand in the till, picking up random coins, handing them over without looking and say Sally Webster pocketing them not even checking to see if he is right. Accuracy and trust in one scene.
There’s actually Hun supporters writing letters of complaint to ITV about the disgrace that is their club being jibed on prime time English TV. Loopers. Anyway, it’s some dude telling Linda Block he’s not sniffing around Rosie Webster.
[BRVkIO1taGo[/media]]YouTube - corrie slagging huns]([media=youtube)
“I could no more be interested in Rosie Webster than I could support Glasgow Rangers.”