A bit simplistic. Theres a lot more in that Stan Collymore tweet than āguilt trippingā. A fella who has lived all his life in the public eye and has done terrible and great things. He very much sees that its not black and white. And whether you like it or not, the response he gets from men (Iām choosing to believe him about the responses after his q and aās) shows just how useful his honesty in this capacity is. Maybe all suicides arenāt the exact same and thereās a vast almost infinite array of journeys and impulses that fellas go on before they kill themselvesā¦ from long standing depressives to lads drunk in a funk who carry through a fleeting impulse. Of course there is. Dismissing Collymore is to shut the door on possible progress for many like yourself. Just cos it doesnt suit you, doesnt mean itās shit.
100%
Thereās generally a tendency to dismiss the celebrity ādepressedā as attention seeking but it gets people to listen, and hopefully talk
Iām on and off the fence about this. Thereās drawing attention to a problem and then thereās lads trying to monetise and monopolise the ādepression spaceā. Bressie and Rory story fall into the latter category for me. Richie Sadlier goes into the former. For me. Iāll still take my psychological advice from clinical psychologists. We went through a spell of a few years where the media reached out to celebrities for this shit for clicks rather than people who actually studied it and treat people. Itās fucking mental if you think about it.
I donāt want to go down this rabbit hole again but in my experienceā¦ā¦ when a celebrity stands up to talk about their experience, people listen, when a āprofessionalā walks into a room of ordinary Joes, school kids or any other group, a lot of people switch off straight away, there is a place for the celebrity mental health speaker
I know you dont! Im pretty sure both can be true. From my experience, you very much dont have to be a celebrity to make kids sit up and listen.
My post wasnāt simplistic but your line here most certainly is.
Of course you donāt, some people just have the gift, but theyāre few and far between
Im 48 now and this thread is after bringing back memories of mine that involved people I had relationships with in the past that sadly went down this road.
I went to bed earlier on today as Im battling a ferocious feickin 'flu the last week but before I shut my mind off,I decided to do a head count of people I knew that took their own lives.And the number I came back with was 9.
And then I got thinking was there any characteristics that they all shared in common that could help me to identity any people I know/love that where maybe thinking of cashing out and the main thing I found that was all of them,bar none,were the most gentle,thoughtful funny and decent people you could ever wish to meet.
I think a lot of depression is circumstantial, re minutes on earth, we are probably losing more than we win. Being alive and having our health is a bit of a win. We are just after a ferocious row at home here (farms, houses,who did what and who shouldāve done what) but sure thatās life. Tomorrow is another day.
There is reactive depression, and endogenous depression I once read
Youāre probably right. Saying your post was simplistic was wrong, as it is nuanced in fairness. I suppose as Iāve got older, i respect idealism and negativity less. Your first instinct was drawn to negativity towards something he said as opposed to addressing all that i felt was positive about his post. It coloured my opinion of your post, as it sometimes does.
I was having a chat with a lad this morning about this over coffee at the beach. Theres a lad or two who sleep in tents at the beach most of the year round. We observed that theres plenty of fellas, ourselves included, who are only ever one bad week/a few bad decisions away from an all out shitshow or having to leave the gaff. And people can genuinely flip out sometimes too.
My aul lad was a psychiatric nurse. The only time I saw him cry was when his best friendās son hung himself when the family were at mass at 11 on a Sunday morning. I always think it was because he saw an inevitability in it and he couldnāt stop it.
Jesus to me thatās a lot and the problem is it probably normalises it for other lads which is scary. We lost a pal of ours 5 years ago to it - he was single, had a very set routine with gym, work and pints and couldnāt cope in any way once Covid restrictions came in and took his own life. We planned to have a few pints last week for him till one of the lads (whoās had a new baby near the age of 50) tells us his new wifeās brother just did the same last week. What can you do except to try and keep in contact with your pals (invariably by WhatsApp) and try and help if you see any signs either through that or when you meet up. I donāt know - itās a fucking shitshow
As a society I think weāre too busy to notice these things. The art of conversation is dying too so itās hard to be positive.
Saddest part of it is that people think they have no value to themselves or anyone else that they are better off dead . It must be an awful place to be.
My best man who I only catch up with sporadically now told me recently he was on his knees during the summer because his landlord was selling their house and he had nowhere to live and couldnāt provide a roof to his son who has autism and his daughter who has recovered from cancer. He told me had driven to the cliffs 3 time on his own and was ready to go. Said he regards himself as a failure because the rest of his mates have mortgages/settled houses and he couldnāt do the same and provide security for his kids who he worries about every day. This lad is usually the most positive, funny lad you could meet. He has got sorted now with a buy to rent/affordable housing deal and feels somewhat secure but fuck
Iād like to think Iād have no pride if in a similar situation to ask for help as this lad has helped me out over the years previously.
Definitely agree.*
But I always had you down as a lad who saw theā¦ upside ā¦of other people dyingā¦
- Iāll get my coat
Thatās a tough station. Pride is an awful thing, plenty of lads have killed themselves because of it.
Thatās a tough place to be , a lot of shit going on in his life .