Terrible Joke Thread


That isn’t too bad .


What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall ?

Art .


What do you call a goofy slaphead from humberside






Hickory Dickory Dock
Three mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
And the other two escaped with minor injuries


Multi-storey car park theft. That’s just wrong on so many levels.


Can some one of the moderators please ban this mong?


Throwing acid is wrong, in some people’s eyes


What’s the definition of endless love?

Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis.




A man who took an airline company to court after losing his luggage, has lost his case.


Paddy English man, Paddy Irish man and Paddy Nigerian man are all in the maternity hospital after their wives gave birth to sons. The nurse comes out and says I’m afraid there’s been a terrible mix up and we don’t know which baby is which.
After thinking for a few minutes Paddy Irishman says I’ll sort this. He returns a few minutes later with what is clearly Paddy Nigerian’s baby. What are you doing say’s Paddy Nigerian that’s clearly my baby.
Look says Paddy Irishman there’s a 50/50 chance that one of the others is English and that’s a risk I’m not willing to take.


Did you hear about the slow bicycle? It was two tired.


Paddy English man, Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scotsman are having a pint.
As it happens three flies flew into their drinks at the same time.
Paddy Englishman pushes his pint away in disgust and orders a new one.
Paddy Scotsman picks out the fly and goes on drink his pint, unperturbed.
Meanwhile Paddy Irishman picks out the fly, places him on the counter, presses down on his stomach and roars “spit it out you bastard!!!”


The guy who invented the throat lozenge has died. There’ll be no coffin at his funeral.


I don’t get it, how was it clearly Paddy Nigeriaman’s baby?


He was wearing a traditional Nigerian outfit


And offered to transfer funds from a cousin, a Royal family member, if I gave him my account details.

Very advanced child.