The Amazing Excuses thread

Crystal Palace keeper Wayne Hennessey has denied making a Nazi salute during a meal with his team-mates.

The Wales international was pictured with his right arm in the air in a photo posted on Instagram by Palace midfielder Max Meyer, who is German.

The picture was taken after Palace’s FA Cup third round win over Grimsby.

Hennessey said he “waved and shouted at the person taking the picture to get on with it” and “put my hand over my mouth to make the sound carry”.

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Looks like he’s putting the paw up for the ball and batting Tommy Welsh away from his faceguard tbf.

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Lilian Thuram reveals he was shocked to see his son Marcus spitting in his opponent’s face: ‘I asked myself if he was my son.’

Thuram, 23, was sent off during Borussia Monchengladbach-Hoffenheim last weekend after spitting in Stefan Posch ‘s face.

“I was watching the game and I was left shocked,” Lilian Thuram, a former Parma and Juventus defender, told RCI Guadeloupe .

“Later on, I had his explanation. He was angry, and the saliva came off his mouth without him wanting it. Marcus wants people to know it wasn’t intentional, he knows this gesture shouldn’t exist on a football pitch.”

The Borussia Monchengladbach’s winger has received a fine and a five-match ban.

This is the best of all time though.

The cruise liner captain accused of abandoning ship after he struck rocks off the Tuscan coast last Friday has reportedly claimed he was unable to lead the evacuation because he slipped and tripped into a lifeboat while helping passengers leave the stricken vessel.

During a three-hour hearing on Tuesday, captain Francesco Schettino said it was an accident that he left the Costa Concordia, according to La Repubblica.

“The passengers were pouring on to the decks, taking the lifeboats by assault,” the newspaper quoted him as telling a judge during a hearing to determine whether he should be held in custody on charges of manslaughter and abandoning ship.

“I didn’t even have a life jacket because I had given it to one of the passengers. I was trying to get people to get into the boats in an orderly fashion. Suddenly, since the ship was at a 60-70° angle, I tripped and I ended up in one of the boats. That’s how I found myself in the lifeboat,” said Schettino.

“Suspended there, I was unable to lower the boat into the sea, because the space was blocked by other boats in the water.”

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The HSE sure to feature here in 2021

@Little_Lord_Fauntleroy - cyclists shouldn’t have to pay towards the upkeep of roads, that comes from general taxation.

Paul Reid is going to be a man in demand on talk shows in 2021. And the subsequent tribunals of course.

:joy:

Missed that at time

Michael Martin is already working on his next tall story.

‘I was standing over the horse waiting to help with the removal of the body, in the course of which, to my memory I received a call and, without thinking, I sat down to take it. Hearing a shout from one of my team, I gestured to wait until I was finished.’

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Is the suggestion here that the (ex) girlfriend leaked the photos to the media?

Who is the ex?

He’s sitting on her

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MacRoaster was a big fan of Gordon.

I’d say MacRoaster wouldnt care much for these doo gooders trying to bring down his hero.

Jaysus could you imagine the state of MacRoaster during COVID. A mask with the county crest on it no doubt.