The Auld Yarns thread

[Raylan]

Tony played all the old hits that night

[farmerinthecity]

A lad arrived home from the US a few years back and was drinking in one of the pubs in the town. In walks an old school friend from secondary school who hadn’t left the area since school. They greeted each other warmly.

So where are you based these days?
San Diego.
Where?!!
It’s near to LA
Where?!!
Los Angeles
Where?!!
Ah for fuck sake - California
Where?!!
Ah Jesus - America
Oh right. You went to the convent, I only went to the tech.

[Pirlo]

Tans have good yarns sometimes.

[farmerinthecity]

@anon67715551

visit to Leitrim was set for the Bank Holiday Monday in August, Lucy to arrive on the 1pm bus that passed through historical Fenagh. There was a dandy crowd, we’d been beat in the championship the day before so drink was flying.

Our hero arrived about 12.30, looking his best with a bunch of home grown roses wrapped in the previous day’s Sunday Press. In the days before outdoor hospitality, we were all out on the street awaiting the bus when bang on time the late Paddy Wrafter slewed her to a stop. Out hops a brother of Scalder’s who’d boarded in Mohill to ensure it stopped in beautiful Fay-na.

Anybody else on the fucking bus roars John, mystified and embarrassed simultaneously.
A fine doll got off in Mohill reports Paddy. A burst of industrial language follows, did I get the rendezvous wrong, what went wrong etc before firing the flowers across the hedge and trundling home.

[myboyblue]

Dubs life (@dubslife1) on X

[cowpat]

There are some cracking Brian Clough yarns here

Mark Crossley: Hilarious Brian Clough Stories & Playing with Roy & Wrighty | Stick to Football EP 86

[Big_Dan_Campbell]

I see the odd reel of these - Crossley is a good man to tell ‘um.

Jigsaw

[cowpat]

In fairness he delivers them well

[Fat_Pox]

Heard a good one that took place on the BOICMC over the weekend. @peddlerscross

Fedamore hosted a tournament at the weekend with Lismore, MLR, Toureen and Feakle there.

Anyway in an effort to keep the crowd engaged there was an MC interviewing people at different stages.

Big Dan Shanahan was the star turn for Lismore. He was quizzed on loads of things and then the MC asks “how long did it take to travel up today”? Dan replies " it took us an hour and half to come up but it will take us two days to go home".

[habanerocat]

He’s a bluffer.

It’s two hours from Lismore at least.

[habanerocat]

Ok, ok I’m wrong.
Cross country it’s an hour and a half.

I was assuming they’d have to go through Clonmel

[Julio_Geordio]

@Fat_Pox

Lismore, MLR, Toureen and Feakle

Fedamore must have been providing the tay because they certainly weren’t giving any of them a game

[myboyblue]

[farmerinthecity]

A man from my home town was on his way out a while back,

Not a nice man. He’d rob the eye from your head if he could and was always looking to pull some stroke.

His wife happened to have a blood pressure monitor on at the time when he passed away.

Shortly afterwards she went for a walk with her grandson.

‘Would you look at that’ she said pointing to her monitor.

‘It’s the first time it’s had a normal reading’.

[backinatracksuit]

I don’t get it

[jellyfish]

Her blood pressure was back to normal once yer man died.