20/20 (or 6/6 in metric) means that you can make out from 20 feet what a person with “normal” vision would make out from 20 feet away.
When I was younger I probably had 20/15 or 20/10 vision. I was told by an optometrist last week that I had 6/6 (or 20/20) vision in the operated eye or close to it but visual acuity is only one way of measuring eyesight and after an operation such as for a detached retina it’s a completely inadequate measure, it’s a quantitative rathher than qualitative assessment.
I never knew how bad my eyesight was until I failed a medical and they told me to get glasses. I used to always have to squint to see what bus was coming. Was forver stopping a 19 bus thinking it was a 16 up Camden St area. Long potting in snooker was my weak point but the penny never dropped. I was trying to pot a blurred red ball. Not sure I’d have donned a Dennis Taylor pair of glasses anyway.
The last straw for me was when I was at the play-off in Paris. The Henry handball goal was down the far end and I just assumed it was a fair goal because I could barely see down that end. It was only later queueing for the metro I became aware there had been huge controversy over the goal. I got glasses soon after.
By 2015 I recall having a smoke underneath Hill 16 during half-time of an NFL game between Dublin and Derry, it was that awful game on a foul Saturday night when Derry parked the bus and scored about four points. I had taken my glasses off and in the distance (which was only about 15 yards away) I thought I saw people gesturing at me. I squinted and squinted and squinted but couldn’t make them out and then just decided to put my glasses on. It was a group of acquaintances I knew from going to Ireland matches beckoning me to come over for a chat. They remarked that my eyesight must be shit. I guess it was.
I was going to hurling matches and I couldn’t see a thing which was probably a blessing being form Galway. My first hurling match with glasses on was like an LSD trip.
I’ve an acquaintance who had really shit eyesight since school. He knew it, we knew it. He’d borrow glasses off someone and remark upon how much better he could see with them. He still refused to get glasses until his late thirties. Some lads are just born too stubborn to see how thick they are…
Got another OCT scan today at an independent optician. Showed slight disruption to a thing called the retinal pigment epithelium under the macula. I think this would be consistent with a macula-involving retinal detachment. Which is bad. And probably explains the squiggles in my vision. I have read about this problem resolving itself in some patients but it usually takes many months or years, if it happens at all. I’d say I’m left with the squiggles for the foreseeable. Time for another anxiety tablet.
Not much about the retinal pigment epithelium apart from that there was a slight disruption to it. I keep forgetting to ask follow up questions, which is why I’d make a shit journalist. She did say the macula is settling down well overall and the best thing is to wait until my next consultation with my surgeon in just under four weeks.
More learned people than me tell me there are nine layers in the macula. The retinal pigment epithelium is the yoke the retina is attached to, I’m open to correction on this but I think it may be part of the choroid, which I think is sort of like the outer layer of the eyeball. The retinal pigment epithelium is where the retina gets its oxygen and nutrients from. If the retina is separated from it that damages things called the photoreceptors, which cannot regenerate, though I think the remaining ones can rearrange.
The surgery was a good job, I don’t think there’s much doubt about that. But if the macula is in any way involved in a detachment you’re trusting to luck basically and are unlikely to get your old vision back. I have seen stories on these Facebook support groups where people got a macular detachment and ended up getting a good result, but it takes a long time, if it happens, so let’s hope for that.
Then with a vitrectomy, which I had there’s the about 99% certainty of developing a cataract at some point over the next year or two, it could be later, it could be sooner.
My own lay man’s reading of disruption to the retinal pigment epithelium under the macula (though I don’t think it was under the fovea which is the central part of the macula) is it’s probably not great.
From my reading it seems less likely that a disruption deep inside the macula will resolve itself and also nothing can be done about it as far as I can see, you just have to wait and see.
I don’t know, occasionally these things can resolve themselves over many months or years. I just keep going back to the regret about doing nothing. This was almost certainly preventable because it likely began with a small peripheral retinal tear which could have been fixed and which I allowed to spiral into something much worse. That’s a very hard thing to live with because it will likely have life changing consequences. I can’t even people watch from a car at the moment because I find it hard to make out people’s faces because of double vision. The roads and streets around where I live are filled with very nice things to look at, as it’s a college area, so that’s quite disheartening.
In a sense it’s almost good that you are more focused on your eyes than your brain and low mood at the moment. I’d call that progress, even though that may come across as annoying positivity
This is encouraging from what I could understand of it. You’re beating yourself up a bit about being reticent to seek professional help back in August and this is perfectly understandable.
The graph has taken an upward curve and while progress will appear slow, bear in mind it’s not a bone that’s setting, it’s a delicate miniscule series of connections and this will be slower given the complexities.
You’re over hump broadly speaking and continue to trust in the medical advice and expertise that you’re currently receiving.
These online fora that you’re perusing are a waste of time and are playing with your emotions. Imagine a lad plagued by rats consulting the thread here - kick those assorted spoofers to the line and stick with the professionals.
Good to note a pick-up in the reporting, you’ll recover well. Good luck…
Sounds like fairly positive news @Cheasty hard not to fear the worst but hopefully you will be almost there by christmas and you can write off 2022 and leave it behind
I don’t know. I certainly won’t be anywhere near right by Christmas. Christmas 2023 or even Christmas 2024 would be more realistic I think and even then it may only be marginal improvement at best.
Most of 2022 was alright. Up to the last seven weeks it was a damn sight better than 2020 and 2021. It’s those last seven weeks and no doubt the rest of it which have stunk and will stink.
As much as you might think otherwise, you are ultimately in control of how you feel. If you predetermine an outcome, you’ll seek it out. If you say this will be shit, you’ll make it shit.
If you make a big deal out of small wins, it will seem like a big win. Make small goals. Achieve them. It becomes a habit. Whatever it is. Get up earlier. Make it a win. Eat a healthy breakfast. A win. Go for a walk. I’m up for the day. Adversity is a challenge you need to overcome. And win.
You’re more than capable of doing it based on our interactions here. A small shift in mindset, focus on what you’re achieving rather than what you perceive you’re losing.
I agree (wholeheartedly, in fact) with most of what you’ve said there except this one line:
There are days when nothing will work against depression and you just have to ride it out. Thinking you have the power to fix it can only make people feel guilty when they are unable to do so.
Got confirmation there from my surgeon that my macula detached.
Neither glasses nor prisms will work in curing the double vision. Have been given a prognosis of a 1-2 year period for possible resolving of waviness and possible resolving of double vision.
Deep down I knew all this but it’s not welcome news to say the least. Not really sure where I go from here.
Don’t have much energy, have no zest in me at all, didn’t get out of bed until three today, haven’t had a shower for nine days and I’m rightly blocked up in terms of basic bodily functions.
The house opposite me is full of students having an afternoon Christmas party. Some of them are sitting on their front doorstep looking across at me typing this in my porch. Don’t really care. Life feels like something other people do.
Get your eyes checked thoroughly if you haven’t done so lately. I used to laugh at my brother for going to the doctor so much. I never went and this is the result.
Things are shit @Cheasty and there is no point in sugar coating it. But you can get through this. A good friend of my wife is going through something similar right now. She has some sort of condition that was diagnosed last year where her eye sight will deteriorate to nothing. She was told it would probably start in her 40s or so, but for some reason, has already began, and whilst she does still have some sight now, she is officially considered blind and has begun the process of canes, and rewiring the house etc to suit her needs now. Not even 40, with 3 kids and she will be entirely blind next year. Its awful.
And whilst this situation isnt entirely relevant to you, keep making the best of what you do have. Many people have got through similar. It might not feel like it, but there are others who have got worse situations so take small mercies for the good you do have and try see the positives.
I dont know if you work or have any hobbies, but try your best to keep busy. Its a cliche and I’m sure others here have said it already, but keep your mind active and not let it dwell on the negatives. Volunteering or just doing something part time or having a decent activity to keep you going. I’m far from an expert, and I’m not going to try pretend I know what you’re going through, other than I know its a shit situation, and there are people out there who can help bring you through it. Best of luck with it all either way bud.
Keep on trying pal. Whether it’s getting out of bed at all, taking the pill, speaking with someone, any little thing. You’ve been through an awful few years and it sounds like the accumulation of everything you’ve been carrying is biting you. You can come out the other side of it. It will take time and determination. You’ve plenty of that. There’s a lot of people rooting for you.
This will be the first time that I’ve engaged on this thread, or any topic with you.
I haven’t done so prior to now as I always thought you were something of a loose cannon as a poster and I prefer the quiet life and have little interest in trading barbs. This is not meant to be any form of attack on you - it is simply the opinion that I have held for some time, rightly or wrongly.
There is a clearly obvious intelligence to your postings, which I rarely agree with, but they are formed in a concise and very readable manner. This is a tremendous quality and one that you should be proud of. In short, you are valued.
You have suffered a traumatic injury and have suffered severely as a result. Could it be that you have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder as opposed to a form of depression?
You seem to be displaying many of the symptoms, such as:
Excessive worrying over whether you will recover
Being able to clearly describe how you are feeling even though you can’t explain why you are feeling it.
A feeling of worthlessness and a concern that you will be a burden on others
Comparing it to previous traumas in your life, such as the passing of your father
Being afraid of medications being offered or prescribed because of anxiety over their effect
I have no medical expertise other than the experience I went through when a close household relative of mine was involved in a life-changing accident 3 and a half years ago. Some bones healed, some are still healing, some others never will. Such is life.
This person was displaying an awful lot of what you have described as recovery commenced and progressed. They were diagnosed correctly with PTSD and a course of treatment was embarked upon.
The help helped. It can certainly help you too. I could be wrong, of course, but I have seen these symptoms at first hand and at very close quarters. Be kind to yourself and consider it. I had the same degree of skepticism, but I see it differently now.
