The genius of Rico

As well as his talents as a player and manager Richardson is noted for his eloquence. Despite a certain cavalier attitude to the English language, whereby he coins words and phrases as he likes, there is a certain zen in his observations on soccer, and life in general:

“Whether one is blessed with a prodigious flair for articulacy or merely entrusted with a basic monosyllabic uttering of contentment, the relevance of this coming season will stimulate in every green and white heart at least a temporary escalation in embellished eloquence, so as to allow all an opportunity to express the most wondrous sense of anticipation and excitement that lies within.” Damien Richardson, Shamrock Rovers

“If the remnants of my classical education at the sometimes not-so tender hands of the Christian Brothers of Donore Avenue and Drimnagh Castle serve me correctly, it was that Greek playmaker of old, Epicurus, who stated that the misfortune of the wise is better than the prosperity of the fool.”

“There was a lack of interdepartmental choreography between midfield and attack.”

“I felt there was a lack of definable objectivity about both teams.”

“Whether one possesses the stoical stature of an empirical philosopher or a more mundane propensity for self-gratification, the cataclysmic effect of ones removal from pole-position in the most senior league in the country could be most injurious.”

“My first manager’s page for Shamrock Rovers, and my, shall I say, reasonably extensive vocabulary is still too confined to express how delighted I feel.” Damien Richardson, Shamrock Rovers v St.Johnstone, 14/7/99.

“There is inherent in every true football supporter a reservoir of natural optimism. This inner holding pond of hope springs eternal, and is the safety valve that regulates the emotional turbulence synonymous with professional football. It molifies the annual agitation and sooths the savage beast of frustration. Without this optimistic dimension the personality of the authentic fan is incomplete.” Damien Richardson, Shamrock Rovers v Finn Harps, 22/8/99.

“Astrology informs us that we are entering the Age of Aquarius, a sustained period of harmony and understanding” Damien Richardson, Shamrock Rovers v Cork City, 17/10/99.
“This is one of the most alluring weekends of the domestic season. The FAI Cup 1st Round has a magical dimension all of its own. Unlike proceeding rounds this particular juncture has an unspoiled, almost virginal quality. This air of innocence is induced by one of the most charismatic aspects of professional football, the spirit of adventure” Damien Richardson, Shamrock Rovers v Cork City, 9/1/00.
“It’s always the same sometimes” Damien Richardson, Shamrock Rovers v Waterford United, 27/2/00.
“Unfortunately I encountered a plethora of personal predictions in the early part of this week that required immediate and urgent action. As a result my football career was placed in a state of suspended animation while these pressing matters were attended to” Damien Richardson, Shamrock Rovers v Cork City, 9/4/00.
“Modern football is akin to a turbulent sea. Changes come fast and furious. One may be riding the crest of great waves before being engulfed in enormous crescendos of confusion. Sometimes is can be like surfboarding in the South Atlantic. You do the best you can to stay afloat while all the time fully understanding the fact that things can come crashing down around you. If you worry about the consequences you miss the thrill of the ride.” D. Richardson, City Edition Vol 22 Issue 1 p.7
“The fundamental inability to grasp the fact that real leadership is accepting that you are merely another cog in the wheel has derailed many careers and deranged many managers.” D. Richardson, City Edition Vol 22 Issue 3 p.5
“Football … is a ballet of wondrous beauty choreographed by highly skilled performers, dramatising the conflict between good and evil that takes place in every heart. And, at the same time it reflects the impatient immediacy of modern society in that success breeds immortality, while the procurement of second place begets anonymity.” D. Richardson, City Edition Vol 22 Issue 12 p.

Rico always reminds me of that Simpsons episode when homer gets the vocabulary expansion tape instead of the weight loss tape.

Some of these quotes could easily have come from Rico:

Marge: Homer, has the weight loss tape reduced your appetite?
Homer: Ah, lamentably no. My gastronomic rapacity knows no satieties.

In bed, Marge asks Homer why the tapes aren’t working, but Homer responds,
“Here in the boudoir, the gourmand metamorphosizes into the voluptuary!”