I witnessed an indolent neighbourâs cattle break into his meadows a good few years back. About an hour later I acquainted him of this fact as he was possibly on his 4th of 14 pints.
âFuck them Boxty, theyâll be sorry when the winter comesâ was the most anger he could muster.
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Thereâs great oul yarns about that kind of thing.
I heard a good one recently. A few years ago there was very unusual heavy rain one August and it led to flash flooding. Newcastle West and Abbeyfeale were badly hit as the Rivers Feale and Arra burst their banks. I canât recall the circumstances fully but I donât think it was forecast to happen really and lots of people were caught on the hop and not prepared at all.
Anyway, the rivers had flooded lands around them all over the place. A farmer whoâd be known as a bit of a smart alec and quick on the draw himself had just cut silage and before he could bale it the rains came and the flash floods hit. Silage fucked, tis out on the road and hanging off branches of trees and all over his ditch and everywhere for days after. Few days later heâs below in the local and thereâs a fine crew in. The craic starts and this fella is at it as usual, throwing shit and stirring the pot.
His arch nemesis pipes up âGo way you bollox, as smart and all as you are youâre the only man Iâve ever seen to hang his silage out to dryâ
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Would it constitute as Roaster behaviour if you buy a sandwich/roll/wrap or anything else out of a Deli counter of a shop, walk out into the car park and instead of sitting into your car and ateing it you shtand at either the bonnet or the boot of the car and ate it there with the grub resting on the boot/roof/bonnet
A roaster would never have that much consideration for the interior of his car
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I dunno lad. Iâve noticed it two or three times recently and it seems to be all Roasters guilty of it. Lads with âJeepsâ (a Roaster term in itself, mostly Toyota Landcruisers ) seem to be serial offenders
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Toyota Land Cruiser, Mitsubishi Pajero, Isuzu Trooper - the Roaster chariots of choice
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Jeans,steel toe work boots, polo shirt, maybe all âoldâ tommy hilfiger.
Al fresco dining, a cultured choice.
Keeps the pants free from a coating of jambon pastry flakes as well.
Ideally the jeep doesnât have a straight panel and is black with dirt, bonus points for 4 different tyres on it
Shur youâd always have a spare bottle of warm lucozade rolling around under the passenger sate.
Everything thatâs a 4 x 4 is a jeep. Thatâs just science
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Thatâs just facts
You and your crevice tools
The back/roof of the 4x4 would be too high. And the front bonnet too hot.
The true roaster would have the back door open and heâd be sitting inside with his flask out of the rain.
They ate away at the bonnet. Tis only to put the other half of the roll up on while youâre chewing, and to place the drink of choice (most often a tin of club orange, Roasters fuckin love club orange)
I used to wear a lot of soorts jerseys in my youth. Never realised how ugly they are.
