A woman was on the way to winning €100,000 on a game show, but her final question was suspended for the next night. Her husband sneaked into the studio and found the question and answer.
He raced home and told his wife "Your question is ‘What are the three main parts of the male anatomy’, and the answer is ‘The head, heart and penis.’
The woman thinks about this throughout the night, but keeps forgetting the answer.
Her husband keeps reminding her, “The head, heart and penis.”
Come the game show she has forgotten again, and the presenter asks, “For €100,000 what are the three main parts of the male anatomy? You have ten seconds.”
“Um… the head.”
“Good. Eight seconds.”
“Um… the heart.”
“That’s right. Five seconds.”
“Oh… um… damn. My husband drilled it into me last night and I had it on the tip of my tongue this morning…”
“That’s close enough! You’ve won €100,000!”
Rick Astley will lend you every single Disney DVD except for one!
He’s never gonna give you Up.
If you like that I’ve got a joke about Elton John
It’s a little bit funny 
I laughed twice at that
You can easily determine the gender of an ant by dropping it into water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl ant.
And if it floats, it’s boy-ant
Woman sees a pet shop sign: FANNY-LICKING FROG £25. She goes in and asks, “Can I see the fanny-licking frog?” The man replies, “Bonjour.”
Bandage’s jousts with colleagues reminded me of this old chestnut…
A major international company was looking to hire someone for an important position, so they interviewed dozens of applicants and narrowed their search to three people from different parts of the world.
In an attempt to pick one of them, they decided to give them all the same question to answer within 24 hours and the one with the best answer would get the job.
The question was: “A man and a woman are in bed, nude. The woman is lying on her side with her back facing the man, and the man is lying on his side facing the woman’s back.
What is the man’s name?”
After the 24 hours was up, the three were brought in to give their answers. The first, a Yank, says “My answer is, there IS no answer.”
The second, from England, says “My answer is that there is no way to determine the answer with the information we were given.”
The third one, from Australia, says “I’m not exactly sure, but I have it narrowed down to two names. It’s either: Willie Turner or Willie Nailer?”
The Australian got the job.
Went dogging with the girlfriend last night, By the time she’d finished parking everyone had fucked off.