The Tom Ryan Appreciation Thread

you are an odd chap alright. if I knew what you were trying to say there Iā€™d make up a smart quip to respond, but I havent a notion what you are on about.

Beyond the reach of human rage
A drop of hell, a touch of strangeā€¦

Come on home, Tom.

At half-past one the town was silent,
Except a row raised in the Island,
Where Thady-foe to sober thinking-
With comrade boys sat gaily drinking!
A table with a pack of cards
Stood in the midst of four blackguards

Who, with the bumper-draught elated
Dashed down their trumps, and swore, and cheated!
Four pints, the fruits of their last game,
White-foaming to the table came;
They drank, and dealt the cards about,
And Thady brought ā€œfifteen wheel out!ā€
Again the deal was Jack Fitzsimonā€™s,
He turned them up, and trumps were diamonds;

The ace was led by Billy Mara,
An beat with five by Tom Oā€™Hara;
The queen was quickly laid by Thady!
Jack threw the king and douced the lady!
Bill jinked the game and cried out, Waiter!
Bring in the round, before 'tis later!
The draughts came foaming from the barrel;
The sport soon ended in a quarrel;-
Jack flung a pint at Tom Oā€™Hara,
And Thady levelled Billy Mara;

The cards flew round in every quarter,
The earthen floor grew drunk with porter;
The landlord ran to call the Watch,
With oaths half Irish and half Scotch,
The Watch came to the scene of battle,
Proclaiming peace, with sounding wattle;
The combatants were soon arrested,
But Thady got off unmolested.

[quote=ā€œTreatyStones, post: 830624, member: 1786ā€]At half-past one the town was silent,
Except a row raised in the Island,
Where Thady-foe to sober thinking-
With comrade boys sat gaily drinking!
A table with a pack of cards
Stood in the midst of four blackguards

Who, with the bumper-draught elated
Dashed down their trumps, and swore, and cheated!
Four pints, the fruits of their last game,
White-foaming to the table came;
They drank, and dealt the cards about,
And Thady brought ā€œfifteen wheel out!ā€
Again the deal was Jack Fitzsimonā€™s,
He turned them up, and trumps were diamonds;

The ace was led by Billy Mara,
An beat with five by Tom Oā€™Hara;
The queen was quickly laid by Thady!
Jack threw the king and douced the lady!
Bill jinked the game and cried out, Waiter!
Bring in the round, before 'tis later!
The draughts came foaming from the barrel;
The sport soon ended in a quarrel;-
Jack flung a pint at Tom Oā€™Hara,
And Thady levelled Billy Mara;

The cards flew round in every quarter,
The earthen floor grew drunk with porter;
The landlord ran to call the Watch,
With oaths half Irish and half Scotch,
The Watch came to the scene of battle,
Proclaiming peace, with sounding wattle;
The combatants were soon arrested,
But Thady got off unmolested.[/quote]

:clap::clap:

One of the earliest tales told to me by the auld lad, what with him being half a soda cake and half a parish manā€¦ He showed me where her claw marks were upon the bridge, I canā€™t find the things these days.

One of the earliest tales told to me by the auld lad, what with him being half a soda cake and half a parish manā€¦ He showed me where her claw marks were upon the bridge, I canā€™t find the things these days.[/quote]

Only discovered the poem myself a couple of months ago in an old book I found at home. Those few verses above are absolutely outstanding. Why I put them in the Tom Ryan thread Iā€™m not sure, but Iā€™d say Tom would enjoy that type of banter.

One of the earliest tales told to me by the auld lad, what with him being half a soda cake and half a parish manā€¦ He showed me where her claw marks were upon the bridge, I canā€™t find the things these days.[/quote]
That marks on the bridge thing rings a bellā€¦ explain!

The Bishopā€™s lady, who haunted the bridge, was said to have been murdered there and her nailo marks were said to be etched into the bridge as she tried to cling onto it and life.

Ah smashing. I remember hearing that from my childhood. Canā€™t remember for sure if someone once showed me the marks or if thatā€™s just wishful thinking.

Tom has written a quite damning review of the weekendā€™s All-Ireland football final.

In the examiner?

He writes for that West Brit rag The Daily Mail I thought?

I havenā€™t read it, but I know I agree with everything he said 100%.

ā€œI am going outside my comfort zone here, but Iā€™m still none the better for that horror show that passed itself off as the All-Ireland football final.ā€

ā€œIt was such an awful, cynical mess of a game, and yet we are constantly told that this is a game that is ā€˜evolvingā€™. We donā€™t doubt that, but what on Godā€™s earth is it evolving into.ā€

ā€œWith such ridiculously large ā€˜supportā€™ and management teamsā€¦never has so much effort and resources been invested to turn a once proud game into a pitiful heap.ā€

[quote=ā€œWatch The Break, post: 836794, member: 260ā€]ā€œI am going outside my comfort zone here, but Iā€™m still none the better for that horror show that passed itself off as the All-Ireland football final.ā€

ā€œIt was such an awful, cynical mess of a game, and yet we are constantly told that this is a game that is ā€˜evolvingā€™. We donā€™t doubt that, but what on Godā€™s earth is it evolving into.ā€

ā€œWith such ridiculously large ā€˜supportā€™ and management teamsā€¦never has so much effort and resources been invested to turn a once proud game into a pitiful heap.ā€[/quote]

As always, bang on the money!

[quote=ā€œWatch The Break, post: 836794, member: 260ā€]ā€œI am going outside my comfort zone here, but Iā€™m still none the better for that horror show that passed itself off as the All-Ireland football final.ā€

ā€œIt was such an awful, cynical mess of a game, and yet we are constantly told that this is a game that is ā€˜evolvingā€™. We donā€™t doubt that, but what on Godā€™s earth is it evolving into.ā€

ā€œWith such ridiculously large ā€˜supportā€™ and management teamsā€¦never has so much effort and resources been invested to turn a once proud game into a pitiful heap.ā€[/quote]
Heā€™s a fuckin wanker,we get it Tom you hate football give it a fuckin rest

Youā€™re a fucking wanker, we get it Massey you hate Tom give it a fuckin rest.

This thread is an embarrassment

Agreed.

Not half as embarrassing as the nitwits that think Cregan was a better Limerick manager.:cool:

Eamon 1 Tom 0