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Getting my hair cut - Don’t often go to a barbers but when I do I’m crap at keeping my head still which pisses them off. Also refuse to make any sort of conversation but I consider that a skill.
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Recognising people - Just don’t remember what people look like and I’m forever introducing myself to people I know quite well
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Imitating accents/people - Telling stories that require a switch in accent really kills me. Can’t do any sort of accent at al.
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Trigonometry - Was decent enough at Maths but that stuff just killed me.
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Woodwork - Awful
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Drawing - Awful
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Singing - Worse than the above two. I’m a shocking singer altogether.
- Football management
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Woodwork - was horrendously bad at it and did it for the Leaving Cert. My project was made by an culmination of about five other lads in the class because I couldn’t cut straight…
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Languages - never liked them. My rough Leitrim brogue meant that I couldn’t quite pull off speaking in French.
I think Irish people in general are shite at langauges, most of us can’t even speak our own langauge for fooks sake.
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Useless at clothes shopping, I’m able to get myself acceptable clothes; but I hate the hassle of queues in shops, changing rooms, looking for my size (how the fook do women enjoy it?).
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Being bang on time for appointments or rendez-vous, I’m usually way too early and end up wasting precious minutes of my life waiting.
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Drinking shots or vodkas, gins. I like sipping whiskey but these shots of aftershock vodka etc. fook me up, I much rather spending a fiver on a pint instead of a shot that I can’t stomach!
Ah ye completely missed my point lads. That was a chance to go to town on Rocko.
E.g. 9. Not looking like a Turk
At least Farmer started his own set of numbers I suppose. Shermin, what the fook were you up to?
I understood it Clarkey if it’s any consolation but shermin ruined the whole thing.
The Turk comment is interesting - that’s Juhy all over that one.
- Remember people’s names, especially the girlfriend’s friends and extended family.
- Halo/Metal Gear Solid style games on the Playstation/Xbox. Much more comfortable with sports games
- Maintaining a neutral position when watching any sort of sport.
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carrying things in small loads, instead of bringing things in 2 or more smaller loads, and therefore dropping something which causes a mess. In the last week I have dropped a glass of milk, a sandwich and a can of paint which spilled all over the fooking carpet coz I was trying to carry as much as I could.
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forgetting events on a night out drinking. Its a God damn curse. No matter how pissed I’d be, I’d still remember nearly everything that happened in the night, and its far far worse than forgetting everything, coz you remember all the stupid things you did/said to someone, and then when you see them again, you dont know if they remember or not.
I would have said Farmer ruined the whole thing since he posted shite he can’t do directly after Clarkey.
I think you missed the point here Ben
Thats some lunch!
[quote=“Gman”]1. carrying things in small loads, instead of bringing things in 2 or more smaller loads, and therefore dropping something which causes a mess. In the last week I have dropped a glass of milk, a sandwich and a can of paint which spilled all over the fooking carpet coz I was trying to carry as much as I could.
- forgetting events on a night out drinking. Its a God damn curse. No matter how pissed I’d be, I’d still remember nearly everything that happened in the night, and its far far worse than forgetting everything, coz you remember all the stupid things you did/said to someone, and then when you see them again, you dont know if they remember or not.[/quote]
Milk, sangwich and a can of paint:eek: let me guess, eggshell?
I’m shite at:
Spelling
Gadgets and video game things
Gardening
Housework
Diets
Sobriety
Timekeeping
Returning calls, texts emails etc
Finishing something I started, eg: decorating, books
Finding appropriate men
the list goes on…
[quote=“therock67”]I understood it Clarkey if it’s any consolation but shermin ruined the whole thing.
The Turk comment is interesting - that’s Juhy all over that one.[/quote]
Excellent from Clarkey, you are particularly shit at not looking Turkish.
And my good lady has just added that you’re shit at liking people.
[quote=“Juhniallio”]Excellent from Clarkey, you are particularly shit at not looking Turkish.
And my good lady has just added that you’re shit at liking people.[/quote]
Except Bandage.
Lunging - I’m rubbish at this and basically don’t do it. Grand at the spade work and all that but shi’it at making the move.
Golf - Have no natural flair for this at all. Haven’t tried all that hard to play but it seems like too much hard work.
Not picking up injuries - always injured. 2 days ago I strained my back muscles going down a slide in a waterpark.
Pro Evolution Soccer - crap at it and it frustrates the bejaysus out of me.
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Chatting birds up randomly in a pub. Just can’t do it. I can meet birds through friends or work but just cannot go up to a bird and say hi or something along those lines. Thank God I don’t have to do it anymore (met mrs. locke through work btw)
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Hurling. I wasn’t bad, as in could play a bit but didn’t have the cuttin. Got split open with a hurl when I was 6 and don’t think I ever recovered. Would go through ya for a shortcut in football or soccer but stayed out of it in hurling as much as possible. Stopped playing at 21.
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Spelling, constantly use spell check. Was a bollix for copying when I was in primary school. Your neighbour would correct your spelling. You’d never give him 20/20 as the teach would inspect, always 17 or 18/20. Crafty like a fox we were.
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Telling lies. No good at it, and too honest for my own good.
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Loads of other things like snooker, pool, swimming, darts, driving, swearing, remembering/telling jokes, put downs that I’d be average at; wouldn’t put it in the shit category though; pretty average bloke all in all…
Is this the main reason you got hitched so Locke? Was the shelf looking like a lonely place? 
Apart from the lovey-dovey shtuff a course.
And remember, you’re no good at telling lies.
I’m brutal at telling lies. I have this stupid look on my face which makes it totally obvious that I’m talking through my arse. The girlfriend can spot it instantaneously -
- “So what time did you get in last night?”
- “Ah…em…Oh… i’d say it was about half 12 or 1 O Clock”
- “Really…?”
- “Em…yea…how’s about we go out for dinner tonite?!”
[quote=“Pikeman”]Is this the main reason you got hitched so Locke? Was the shelf looking like a lonely place? Apart from the lovey-dovey shtuff a course.
And remember, you’re no good at telling lies.[/quote]
Naw Pikeman, true love from the start. Only it took her about a year of persuading to get the picture; at which stage I had alienated myself with 3 other birds from the company. I was quite the charlatan back then… Jesus thinking of it now, I don’t know how I got her to go out. Some craic back then though, company summer bbq’s, xmas bashes, going away parties, dept. nights out; mental…
- maintaining a serious facade.
- organising and delegating.
- fixing things.
- getting electrical or mechanical things to work.
- feigning interest in people or things that don’t concern me.
- completing everyday but banal tasks such as paying credit card bills and stuff like that.
- understanding the offside rule.
The Christmas holidays really brought home to me how shit I am at wrapping presents.