Tit Monday

[tazdedub]

@Gary_Birtles_Lovechi

Today is like Tit Monday but in reverse. The last of the summer wine…

Wans walking round West Limerick in crop tops. In October. By god.

The benefits of climate change, an extended Tit season.

[habanerocat]

Wednesday could be the day that they’re caught on the hop when it turns cold quickly.

[glenshane]

A young lassie just walked past wearing a pair of those shorts…you know the ones. The young lad nearly climbed out the car window to get a closer look. I think i need to build him a secure unit.

[neilld]

“Its a long old season for the girls these days, but they’ve fought hard and we are very proud of them and thankful for all of their efforts, hopefully we can get a dry spring and have a good crack off the league.”

[PhattPike]

Tit’s that time of year again folks.

[Spidey]

I think we’ll see it this Thursday or Friday

[PhattPike]

Agreed - still plenty of spring attire out and about earlier but a scattering of crop tops too. Forecast to go as high as 20°C tomorrow which would get things moving nicely.

[balbec]

Been and gone here. We had 27 degrees at Easter. Back to 16 now.

[Spidey]

[StoneCold]

Grand aul evening

[Appendage]

It’s still fucking cold though.

[Spidey]

Tonight’s mini leagues were off the charts. I was glad I brought the shades

[gilgamboa]

@Appendage

It’s still fucking cold though.

Sunny but deceptively cold is surely prime time weather for TM

[Alan-partridge]

You dirty dawg!!

[myboyblue]

@LetterkennyMan

Ah, Tit Monday. It’s not that far off now, that glorious day when, heading into work on the bus, or walking to the Luas, or sitting on the Dart, you find yourself suddenly chirpier than you have been in months.

You find yourself smiling at strangers again. There is a mild involuntary tumescence in your trousers that comes and goes throughout the morning with the comforting regularity of a heartbeat.

And then you get a text around lunchtime from a mate which says: “At last, Tit Monday!” And you instantly understand why you are so happy. For Tit Monday is that special day in the year when, for the first time, the temperature rises above that magical point which causes girls getting dressed in the morning to decide to show a bit of skin. After months of dull colours and chunky knit, the world’s birds suddenly dive into last summer’s wardrobe (they’ve not had chance to buy this season’s stuff) and chuck it on without a thought. Your urban landscape is suddenly lightened with acres of naked arm and leg and, after many dark months of burrowing, breasts rising to the surface like moles at dusk.

Big breasts in white work shirts straining at the buttons. Small breasts braless in vest tops, the nipples frotted by ribby fabrics. Breasts in summer dresses bouncing in the distance so that they catch your eye before you even notice there is someone wearing them. Breasts nudging out from the crowd at traffic islands, quivering to cross the road…

And you know it is nearly summer. For previous generations, the arrival of spring was heralded by the sound of the first cuckoo. For us, it is Tit Monday.

Not that it always falls on a Monday. Like Easter, Tit Monday is a moveable feast. Last year it fell on a Friday. Friday 29 April, to be precise, when temperatures maxed out at 22.1C after nothing much above 16C all year. It last fell on a Monday in 2004, when temperatures leapt to 22C on 24 April.

And then, of course, there is Tit Monday Night. You see, in early summer, temperatures drop off very dramatically when night falls (Tit Friday 2005 dropped away to a parky 11.8C). But the dollies are not prepared. Slightly stunned by the morning heat, they drag out the summer clothes but forget to bring a cardie (a mistake they will not make again until next year), so that when they’re all standing outside the pub after work celebrating the arrival of spring, their barely covered nipples have no protection from the cold. It’s like a Bring-and-Buy sale where everyone has brought hat pegs. It’s like a prog-rock gig where, instead of lighters, everyone is holding up nipples.

So when will Tit Monday fall this year? Will you be the first to text your mates with the announcement? Do not shoot your bolt too early. There will be false starts. You will smell fresh cut grass and see a couple of early starters and feel compelled to declare Tit Monday. But your more level-headed friends will tell you to hold your horses, keep your powder dry, don’t fire until you see the whites of their bra straps.

As the poet said: one bold Northern slapper in a bikini doth not a summer make.

Today. Today is Tit Monday.

[glasagusban]

Not the correct thread perhaps but I just saw a pair of diddies so good that I involuntarily said “holy God” out loud.

[flattythehurdler]

Have you tried the 5-2 diet?

[cowpat]

out here in south of spain for a few drinks and it roasting, the scantily clad would give a horn to a dying donkey

[myboyblue]

Tit Monday peaked last weekend at the Picnic

[PhattPike]

They’ve definitely been put back into storage now, a real winter chill this week.