Toilet facilities at GAA grounds

[Fagan_ODowd]

@Sidney

I stood on the Killinan End for the Dublin-Kerry matches in 2001. The only “official” toilet facility I could find was a small shed on the “new” stand side with urinal room for about four people and one cubicle with no door, no toilet seat, and no water in the cistern or bowl. After visiting it once at half-time during the drawn match I went in the flowerbeds at the back of the terrace for the replay, as did pretty much everybody else. By the end the soil in these flowerbeds was turning to the type of mud that soldiers in the trenches of the Western front during World War I had to endure. John Bruton would have loved it.

A Toilet seat you want now?

Rule number 2 about GAA toilet facilities. You never ever sit on a toilet in a GAA ground.

[Sidney]

[QUOTE=“Fagan ODowd, post: 1085366, member: 706”]A Toilet seat you want now?

Rule number 2 about GAA toilet facilities. You never ever sit on a toilet in a GAA ground.[/QUOTE]
Thankfully I don’t think I’ve ever had to. I have unfortunately had to use toilet seats in pubs on a few select occasions before or after matches however which proved to be quite an ordeal. Before the Dublin-Kerry replay in 2001 was one of these occasions, but the worst was the day of the 2003 All-Ireland football final when I had to use pub toilet seats both before and after the match. I find it helps to be under the influence of alcohol to blank out the experience from the mind.

[flattythehurdler]

You could have bypassed the toilet and shat in quinns basement.

[ThunderPuss]

Having to take a shit at a gaa ground is a sobering experience. I’d say that the only place with appropriate facilities would be HQ. I used a copy of the racing post before to wipe my arse, had to go as I was playing the game and holding on wasn’t an option.
As an aside, I remember a few years ago I was on a bus heading to a match in Thurles when one lad had to go ASAP. He ended up shitting in a field along the road. When we enquired how he’d wiped his arse he said that it came out “Like a Mars bar”.

It would be interesting to get a females insight into this as I wouldn’t say the womens jacks are much better in most of the places mentioned.

[Sidney]

[QUOTE=“ThunderPuss, post: 1085442, member: 1593”]Having to take a shit at a gaa ground is a sobering experience. I’d say that the only place with appropriate facilities would be HQ. I used a copy of the racing post before to wipe my arse, had to go as I was playing the game and holding on wasn’t an option.
As an aside, I remember a few years ago I was on a bus heading to a match in Thurles when one lad had to go ASAP. He ended up shitting in a field along the road. When we enquired how he’d wiped his arse he said that it came out “Like a Mars bar”.

It would be interesting to get a females insight into this as I wouldn’t say the womens jacks are much better in most of the places mentioned.[/QUOTE]
I was told that the female facilities in Pairc Ui Rinn yesterday weren’t much better than what I described about the men’s.

[glasagusban]

@Sidney

I was told that the female facilities in Pairc Ui Rinn yesterday weren’t much better than what I described about the men’s.

Filthy animals.

[Sidney]

The scramble for the toilets at the Stade de France at the end of 90 minutes in the France-Ireland World Cup play-off in 2009 was as feral as anything I’ve ever seen.

There was Hillsborough-like congestion and panic in the nearest men’s toilets, and people were pissing in the sinks. Similar scenes were occurring in the nearest ladies’ toliets, of which at least 80% of the “customers” were male. I decided to join a row of about seven or eight other people who were pissing in the corridor outside the toilets before the ground became too wet to walk. At the same time I kept a vigilant eye out for any stewards who might enter the area. When I was about two-thirds of the way to emptying myself against the concrete wall (aiming deliberately at an angle to direct the flow away from my feet) a steward bounded around the corner and approached. I quickly stopped myself mid-flow and ran off into the middle of a crowd having not fully buttoned up. A chap who had been standing beside me in the spectator area and was also pissing against the same wall was slower to react and accosted by the steward. He did not re-appear back in the spectator area for extra-time.

[dancarter]

@glasagusban

Why would you piss all over your own hands? What the fuck is wrong with you?

I wouldn’t but Sid seems like a lad who might

[Thrawneen]

@carryharry

Semple Stadium’s toilet facilities are spot on.

Yep, in the VIP section facilities where I usually sit, they sure are.
I took a piss beside JP himself at an U-21 game. Such a hygienic environment we were both of sound mood enough to strike up conversation.
Terribly nice chap.

[Thrawneen]

Didn’t take you long @Rintintin

[Rintintin]

I have spies watching and waiting for mentions of Kishi.

@Thrawneen

Didn’t take you long @Rintintin

[balbec]

@Sidney

I was told that the female facilities in Pairc Ui Rinn yesterday weren’t much better than what I described about the men’s.

That goes for women’s toilets in general. (I have been told).

[balbec]

[QUOTE=“Sidney, post: 1085470, member: 183”]The scramble for the toilets at the Stade de France at the end of 90 minutes in the France-Ireland World Cup play-off in 2009 was as feral as anything I’ve ever seen.

There was Hillsborough-like congestion and panic in the nearest men’s toilets, and people were pissing in the sinks. Similar scenes were occurring in the nearest ladies’ toliets, of which at least 80% of the “customers” were male. I decided to join a row of about seven or eight other people who were pissing in the corridor outside the toilets before the ground became too wet to walk. At the same time I kept a vigilant eye out for any stewards who might enter the area. When I was about two-thirds of the way to emptying myself against the concrete wall (aiming deliberately at an angle to direct the flow away from my feet) a steward bounded around the corner and approached. I quickly stopped myself mid-flow and ran off into the middle of a crowd having not fully buttoned up. A chap who had been standing beside me in the spectator area and was also pissing against the same wall was slower to react and accosted by the steward. He did not re-appear back in the spectator area for extra-time.[/QUOTE]

The queue was about 5 deep for the jacks at the half time of Limerick Kilkenny last August. One poor chap at the urinal was accused of having two cocks by the fellow next in line, such was the desperation.

[carryharry]

@balbec

One poor chap at the urinal was accused of having two cocks by the fellow next in line, such was the desperation.

Not a place for stage fright.

[flattythehurdler]

@balbec

The queue was about 5 deep for the jacks at the half time of Limerick Kilkenny last August. One poor chap at the urinal was accused of having two cocks by the fellow next in line, such was the desperation.

It was Mr Walsh.

[habanerocat]

Páirc Uí Chaoimh famous for the women’s queue into the men’s jacks.

[Fagan_ODowd]

@habanerocat

Páirc Uí Chaoimh famous for the women’s queue into the men’s jacks.

Cork is full of transvestites. The county that gave us Danny La Rue.

[ciarancareyshurlingarmy]

@Rintintin

I have spies watching and waiting for mentions of Kishi.

Kishi??

[Sidney]

Pearse Stadium, Galway.

While I’ve been a regular visitor to this stadium over the last two years today was the first time I felt the need to use the facilities at half-time as I’d had two cans of lager pre-match.

While there is extensive urinal space, there was no hot water, in fact when you pressed the hot taps, and I pressed three, no water at all came out.

I gave my hands a very quick rinse in the icy, cryptosprodium-rich cold water before drying them on my trousers, as there were no hand dryers or hand drying paper provided.

Verdict: rural.

[habanerocat]

@Sidney

Pearse Stadium, Galway.

While I’ve been a regular visitor to this stadium over the last two years today was the first time I felt the need to use the facilities at half-time as I’d had two cans of lager pre-match.

While there is extensive urinal space, there was no hot water, in fact when you pressed the hot taps, and I pressed three, no water at all came out.

I gave my hands a very quick rinse in the icy, cryptosprodium-rich cold water before drying them on my trousers, as there were no hand dryers or hand drying paper provided.

Verdict: rural.

Hopefully you’ll never have to go for a shit in Cappamore.