Toilet Reading

Do ya read on the jacks and if so what do you read?

I’d bring up a sports supplement from a Saturday or Sunday paper for a weekend dump usually. For general reading though I have books of The Onion ( which I have stacked in the bathroom. They’re an ideal length for bog reading and can be glanced through or pored over so can be varied with expected duration of stay.

I’ve recently introduced Fowler’s King’s English which is a book on English grammar. Always figured I may as well learn when I’m in there. Back in the day I’d bring in a dictionary and pick a new word a day but that bored me so instead I’m reading up on grammar these days. More relaxing than it sounds

Now magazine is great for reading on the jacks. It’s where the magazine belongs really.

I never read on the toilet. I have played the odd game of Solitaire on my mobile phone though.

Nothing better than arriving home grabbing about three weeks’ Leitrim Observers and heading to the jacks to see who was intoxicated causing them to urinate on the street.

I will always read something in the jacks unless I am in a rush. I have no preferences. I don’t though have books stacked in there or anything.

Monday to Friday I generally only excrete in work so I use that time to delete old text messages on my phone and also compose new ones. At home at the weekend it’s usually the Irish Times sports section, unless I’m so hungover that reading is an impossibility.

The best book I ever had for the jacks though was Hunter Davies’ The Fan, a collection of his columns about football. They were so perfect a length I think he must surely have written them with the toilet reading market in mind.

It’s exclusively internet or games on my phone for my good self. I find something a bit sick about bringing a book or paper in there and then integrating it back into the general living area after what it’s just witnessed in the bathroom. It’s all a bit inconsistent as I have no problem using my phone while I’m soiling the toilet bowl - just not books or papers.

Yeah I’d be a phone man as well, very seldom do any reading.

I have Tim Twomey’s book of Football Facts that I’ve read around 4 times at this stage but still good bog reading material. Most of the dumps are done in work and this is where the phone is king (apart from me, who is sitting on the throne). Sudoku is my latest game, plus the odd text.

At home in KK, the jacks is known as the Library with plenty of Kilkenny People issues left in there for your perusal.