Which TFK poster is the most likely suspect in the Kerry Babies case?

Contenders:

@HBV – undoubtedly the leading contender.

Evidence: Comes from a neighbouring county and his age and general creepiness put him firmly in the frame. By his own admission, he has an extensive history of rape and paying off women to get what he wants. Fervently pro-Catholic Church and Garda establishment.

Evidence against: Claims publicly to be fervently “anti-baby murder”, but this is most likely a front to try and throw police off the scent.

Odds: 10/11

@anon7035031

Evidence for: Comes from a westerly county. Like @HBV, his age puts him firmly in the frame. Believed to have fled the state around 1984 or shortly thereafter. Has remained outside the state, therefore his DNA cannot be traced. Firm social Darwinian policies.

Evidence against: Has taken a more publicly pro-abortion than pro-baby killing stance, but that doesn’t mean that he’s anti-baby killing. @HBV will hope to prove that it means he is more likely to have committed the crime.

Odds: 9/4

@mickee321

Evidence for: From the Munster area. Fought as a mercenary in the Bosnian War from 1992 to 1995 so has no qualms about killing children, claims to work in the arms trade, and was happy to put his family in the line of rocket fire in Israel. Has previously expressed a fascination with the life of Brendan O’Donnell.

Evidence against: Likely to have been fighting in the Angolan Civil War at the time.

Odds: 4/1

@Enrique

Evidence for: Gun nut, outside the state and his DNA remains out of reach of investigators. Fits the profile of the gormless simpleton waiting to explode Brendan O’Donnell type who might have committed the crime.

Evidence against: Would much more likely have used a semi-automatic assault rifle to commit the crime, rather than a knife. Likely a homosexual.

Odds: 25/1

@Raylan

Evidence for: Claims to be an underage GAA coach. Evokes close comparisons with the Sean Bean character in the field.

Evidence against: Not competent enough to commit a crime.

Odds: 100/1

@myboyblue:

Evidence for: Loves Kerry, loves talking about babies.

Evidence against: Likely would have stashed the body in his basement or in a wheelie bin than on a beach. But wheelie bins didn’t exist in 1984, so one potential avenue of his defence has already been undermined.

Odds: 8/1

@caoimhaoin:

Evidence for:
Was highly competitive even as a baby. Could have decided to take out a Kerry rival for a bonny baby competition. Has an unorthodox attitude towards death, thereby putting him in the frame for vandalising the grave. Has a record of making death threats.

Evidence against: Probably killing under-10 players in Cork juvenile Gaelic football in 1984, rather than babies.

Odds: 33/1

@Fagan_ODowd

Evidence for: Age, likes following women in supermarket aisles.

Evidence against: Probably decapitating players in Dublin club football in 1984 instead of killing babies.

Odds: 40/1

@Locke: His name puts him firmly in the frame.

Evidence against: A Cork Prod, so likely quite straightlaced, clean living and boring. The again, they said that about Tim Allen.

Odds: 33/1

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The anti satire brigade won’t like this

Christ…

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I know. I’m from Kilkenny ffs…

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English prick.

I’m delighted @Sidney managed to get out of bed at a respectable hour and seems to be, em, productive. Looks like Kev’s little reality check has worked wonders for him already.

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Youre seething you are not in the running.

I’m thinking of murdering a baby right now. That’d show the fucker.

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Wow

Intervention needed

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:smile:

@caoimhaoin has rattled @Sidney to within an inch of his life here

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4/1 is probably an unfair price against me given that i was 3 years of age in 1984

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Jealousy peaks in humans at the age of three. Did your parents take you to that beach when you were three?

Ah lovely. Classic @sidney.

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to try and stab me?

Did you have access to a knife when you were on the beach?