Indeed,all my uncle’s ended up in the UK.
Sadly, you have the full deck there.
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I’m not alone buddy.Thousands like us in every county.
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She came looking for me as soon as I was legal age (18).
Thought I was more able than I probably was in hindsight.
It was tough for her, I do appreciate that, but she acted ridiculously throughout the years. Complete lack if acknowledgedment of the fact that I had another life and history.
Girls are fantastic. But she became jealous of that too and tried to poison it.
Which makes me wonder about alot of things and the underlining character. Now she did have it tough and I was born in bessboro. However 40 years is enough time to deal with your shit. No excuse for it after she met me and knew had a good life and was healthy. To that point I can understand the mental pain and baggage. And for a while after. But 20 odd years later???
Adoption can be hard. Growing up there are alot of questions and you do get a bit of Imposter syndrome and rejection can be difficult. However I was lucky and was told early and had great parents. But over the years I have heard about people finding out late and maybe then being rejected by birth parents and all that. I have used councilling periodically for a very long time, and it’s critical.
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Yes, I have an interest in local history and I see that every single family has a story or two along with a few skeletons in the cupboard.
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Indeed they do.All the old folks know these story’s.
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Jesus farmer must be writing a novel
The ex struggled with this big time. She was very driven - there was a sense of ‘I am the only person going to look out for me - no one else cares’.
She met her birth mother after we broke up so I am not sure how she is now. I see updates on FB in relation to her trips with her brothers and sisters so all looks well.
Her adopted mother was great though. She lost her adopted father when she was six so she had it very tough. No other adopted siblings.
Would you have rather found out later in life @caoimhaoin,say in your 30’s.Do you think it would be easier at that age.Most people are still very immature at 18.It’s a big thing to find out.
Sorry you may be picking this up wrong.
I knew at 3 - earlier the better is my opinion. You know. People I met who were not told also knew “something” was up or different.
She came looking at 18. Immediate. She was ready from I was 16/17 to go looking from legal POV etc. From my POV I think I would have been more ready at say 27/28
John Bruton on radio 1 for the last 15 minutes. He is advocating a no vote.
Thanks John.
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I got to work on a case before of an adopted man. He knew who his mother was I think and was trying to get access to some sort of record linking him and her, his name had been changed at birth. The administration and barriers put in his way by the system and the hospital were awful, very unfair. People have a right to know.
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That’s what I was thinking.
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It’s so fucking insane how supposedly learned people who are experts on the intricacies of the legal ramifications of an issue such as Brexit, are, when it comes to the 8th Amendment, suddenly prepared to adopt a stance that is as every bit as deluded, fantastical and legally ignorant as the hardest of hard Brexiteers.
Brave and excellent contributions from @caoimhaoin this morning to a thread that often lacks a human element.
I’ve 2 cousins who are adopted. They’re in a loving, upper-middle-class family of 4. They’ve both had difficult lives. One went off the rails but is ok for now. The other has done very well for himself but now he’s cut his family off completely for very little reason. He has big grudges but really not over very much but I think he just feels unloved. I get on well with them both.
So I know people who probably would have been aborted. How does this affect my Yes convictions? I don’t know. But obviously I don’t feel for a second that a Yes vote makes me love my cousins less, or else I wouldn’t vote Yes. But it’s strange, I sort of think that whole side to things has to do with hypotheticals and unknowns and the other unlived lives that we all have. Maybe that makes no sense.
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Makes alot if sense.
We are all into “what ifs” and as humans have wonder and imagination.
I think though if you make a decision you kinda have to go with it and accept the consequences. That’s what I reject about birth mother. Instead of being happy that her good decisions worked out pretty well it became all about her. I have never had time for that rubbish on any level.
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Should that person have also had the right to live? Or should that person’s mother have been allowed abort them.
People have a right to life, yes.