Ok lads,
I have a serious enough question for ye. I’ve been put into a kind of an awkward situation with one of the neighbours who approached me last night.
Himself and the wife are both in their late forties with 3 kids
22, 16 and 10. He earns circa €60k per year and she has a part time job which see her land roughly €300 per week. Anyway between the long and the short of it they are in serious debt. They bought the house at the height of the tiger and paid €300k for it which is exactly €110k more than I paid for mine.
They then took out one of those equity loans that banks were giving out at the time for another 40k and are into the credit union for another €30k. He basically said that his whole net salary goes to servicing the debt and when he gets paid it brings the overdraft back to zero. They are living off her wages and the children’s allowance. They had to get a loan off her father at Christmas to get the kids presents.
Now I’m going to be honest here, she is a fucking weapon who thinks her shit doesn’t stink. Spend, spend , spend. Has to do the weekly shopping in Dunnes or Supervalu and insists on only branded stuff. Wouldn’t here of going to Penny’s etc. Wouldn’t look at the wife after we decided to spend a bit of money after I got sick etc.
Anyway between the jigs and the reels he tells me he’s now been offered a gig in work which would lead to him earning €200k a year. But it’s in Abu Dhabi and it ain’t a 3 or 4 year gig either. That’s it done and dusted, full time. Of course shes mad for it and sees it as an answer to all their problems. He on the other hand is not so sure. It would involve moving lock stock and barrel over there. Their eldest us in college so the wife reckons with the new salary they can hold onto the house here as well for the daughter who’s in college. They’d move over with the 2 lads. Hes a nice auld divil but has just let the wife walk all over him. He has asked me what I think and I initially said hes after blowing me out if the water with the news and I’d sit down with him next week and have a chat.
My initial thoughts are that Abu Dhabi is the kind of place is where one goes no later than their 30’s, give it 5/10 years, make a few bob and move on after that. Of course there are exceptions where lads like the place and make a go of it. Another thought is that if she starts that lark over there, they could end up in jail. Then theres just the whole age thing . Pushing 50 a d movi g lock stock and barrel. Jesus they should be looking forward to slowing down over the next few years.
A way that aside, I know fuck all about abu Dhabi its culture, cost of living etc and I have absolutely no interest in the place.
So any bit of feedback/advice would be appreciated before I sit down with hin
It’s very warm in the summer there
Hurlin?
Moving to where ever might bring financial stability but the real problems are still gonna be there … from what you say, her attitude and his meekness … what happens when the honey moon period wears off of living there? — There’s no easy way of saying that to your man but he cant out run the issues … By all means go there for a year or two if needs be and line up work back here but if his heart isnt in it , he will just resent every thing in a very short period of time.
Surely to fuck he can approach the debtors to cut him a bit of breathing room? if he’s paying and engaging they are usually accommodating …
But even then - i’m sure there’s changes they can make … down grade car, shop in Aldi etc. etc … He needs to tell your wan that if she wants to continue living the life she wants to lead then she needs to get a full time job - running away isnt the answer — if not, she needs to put her pride to one side and live within their means.
he needs to divorce her
He should make her walk around in the full Muslim kit for a week to see how she likes it — make her sit in the back seat of the car and not look any man in the eye … if she’s down with all that then maybe give it a rattle.
He’d be living in a compound where every move is tracked. No real socialising with anyone outside the compound. It’s a grand life for people in their 20s but at that age I’d say he’s crazy. It’s much stricter there than Dubai too so they’ve much less freedom.
They might sort themselves out financially alright
sure he’d be used to that with the shite going on in Ireland
Might sound harsh but I tell ye, I’d still take al, the health problems I’ve had over the last few years than have that dilemma
They’d have no life over there and that’s the long and the short … he’d work his hole off and she’d be stuck in a compound drinking wine buying needless shit online all day and sending pics on to anyone that cares to show how great their life is and it would be all a sham…
And they’d have the heat to contend with
He’d never break the 50 min mark on a 10k in that heat… not a hope.
Mike
Is she a looker ???
Pimping her out is only a short term solution tho.
Iv been there @iron_mike, I had a few friends living there for years . iv a mate who is still over there 8 years . Dont think he has any intention of coming back home as he is on great money. The weather is too hot first and foremost. Found the outskirts of the city to be a bit of a shit hole been honest . Like a rundown spanish town . Found the people horrible . The emirati people are fucking pigs . They look at you as if your a piece of shit. I hated them . The city itself is a load of commercial buildings that are for let , it’s a bit of a dive . There is fuck all to do over there I found . Need an irish network around you to survive as the arabs aren’t exactly friendly.
A friend of mine was assigned there through his job as a civil engineer . He hated it and came back within a month .
I’d definitely move over if I was him. I doubt yer wan would be able to spend much over there as life is fairly confined and that’s great money prob tax free. Give it 5 years save money enjoy a new experience, come back downsize and live the rest of their lives with a new perspective. Only the ten year old will be really affected and even for them will be a great experience. The 22 year old doesn’t come into the thinking, while the 16 year old will be home in two years to go to college which they’ll well afford on that twine.
Living in a 5 year lockdown just for a few quid … sounds putrid.
They have a lot of debt tbf and no life in Oireland.
On the plus they live in Kilkenny…
First thing he needs to do is sort his life out, aka sort his wife out. She’ll be over in Abu Dhabi buying expensive hand bags and shit to keep up with the neighbours there and he’ll be no better off.
I’d say it’s a bit of a no brainer given the mess he’s gotten himself into that he needs to go to Abu Dhabi for at least a couple of years and get himself back on an even keel. He needs to pay off that CU loan and overdraft stat