Annoying Office Jargon - Part III

Has anybody added value to this thread so far?

Question bandage. Do these lads be looking for a laugh or are they deadly serious

No, it’s all serious. Ah, it’s mindboggling.

That shit be fucked up bro.

Where do they hear this stuff?

No idea bro.

It’s like the more senior lads think, ‘Shit, we’re both getting a bit entrenched in our views so best to lighten the mood with a simile’* and they come up with this type of crap.

  • I hope I have used ‘simile’ in the correct context.

They’re more metaphors big man, but good try.

Thanks bro. I always get metaphors, analogies and similes mixed up.

Simile: using like or as…

That’s some spectacular business guff there, you should compliment lads for that sort of shitetalk, it shouldn’t go unrewarded

Earlier this morning:

‘We are tilting at windmills here’.

I bet that was Dan Carter

Context was there’s no need to get bogged down negotiating something that isn’t very important. We were all tilting at windmills apparently.

maybe hes juat a fan of cervantes…

You should ask this guy did he ever hear of Seth Godin before (maybe you have?), i have a feeling he gets Seths mail everyday and took that from one i read very recently.

If you don’t like him you could bring him down a peg or two.

In my workplace it’s termed “value add”.

I keep being asked “What is your value add?”.
I’d love to RKO someone.

A TKO would do more damage.

I put a work colleague in the “walls of Jericho” before…

The Lion Tamer does a lot more damage.

“They need to sharpen their pencil”

I zoned out of the meeting for a good half hour wondering what this could possibly mean. When it was mentioned again later I figured it out - the company need to be a bit more commercially aware and ensure they’re getting the best possible rate for the service they provide.

I admit to I have used this phrase on numerous occasions and I make no apology for it

I’d say your pencil is always sharp Jugs.