What’s a ‘go / no go’ meeting? I’m guessing a meeting where attendance is optional maybe?
No. It’s project management wank speak on whether a project will go ahead or not after weighing up all the options.
“Weighing up all the options”? - Fuck me - they have me at it now.
“Your pushing an open door there”
Don’t push too hard or the wall will get damaged.
I should have said “you are” or “you’re”
True Runt but I let it slide 
Your most gracious 
I was on the phone to a German chap in work yesterday and I imagine English is his second language so it was very impressive that his jargon was faultless. He was speaking pretty slowly and emphasising all the words carefully (must have copped that I’m thick) and it was funny hearing him talking about ‘keeeeeping all of yooouuuu in Dublin in da loooop’ and how they’ll be ‘tick-ing all da boxes’. It might give me the motivation to learn some jargon in German, but probably won’t.
“Piggyback”. Mother of Gof, we are all grown adults, surely there is no excuse for this.
I was at lunch with a mate yesterday (chicken curry half and half in case you didn’t read the ravenous thread) and his mobile phone rang and he said, ‘This is a client, I have to get it.’ Ridiculous to begin with that he’d given them his mobile number but they were chatting away for a short while and my mate came out with, ‘Yeah, we’ll definitely need the projections. We’re not going to hold them up against the mast but we’ll need to include them in the report.’ Hold them up against the mast?
Perhaps the “client” was some quare wan he was knocking off in work and this was all just code?
Where was the curry? Marks out of 10, etc etc
Was that The Bhoy? Sounds like something he would say.
Also interrupting a conversation with a mate saying you have to take a call from a client during lunch time?
If my phone rang in such an instance I would be ignoring it.
“We’ve got to keep our heads below the parapet and ride this thing out.”
WTF
Of course it was the bhoy. Fool that he is.
I’ve been to a few meetings in the last couple of weeks that warrant this thread being bumped:
- Bird last week going on about the prospects of the economy improving and talking about there ‘being signs of green shoots’.
- Lad telling us how confident he is about the potential success of the proposal he’s seeking funding for referring to how he ‘really got in under the bonnet and then kicked and shoved the damn car and now he’s fully satisfied he can get it moving’. Eh, it’s not a car mate.
- Some other lad going on about us asking him for too much detail in his projections and saying ‘it seems you don’t just want to check out the bike, you want to have a look inside the bike shed too’. Eh, sure.
Deary me.
As a matter of interest, has anyone as a result of this and the Apprentice thread, been in a meeting lately and tried desperately not to use jargon only to fail miserably and revert to type.
I was in a meeting the other day and tried deperately not to say “going forward” and paused trying to come up with another way of saying it, probably paused a bit too long truth be told, got some funny looks and then sadly blurted out “going forward”.
At which time my mind shouted “NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” 
[quote=“cluaindiuic”]As a matter of interest, has anyone as a result of this and the Apprentice thread, been in a meeting lately and tried desperately not to use jargon only to fail miserably and revert to type.
I was in a meeting the other day and tried deperately not to say “going forward” and paused trying to come up with another way of saying it, probably paused a bit too long truth be told, got some funny looks and then sadly blurted out “going forward”.
At which time my mind shouted “NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” [/quote]
“No point reinventing the wheel” is a big one around here and is used in every situation no matter how tenuous the link.
some knob told me that instead of waiting for a meeting just have “a real time adhoc conversation”. i presume he meant phonecall.
another one this morning whilst on the phone to some cunt in ireland was that there is no point in trying to solve all the big problems we should close out on the low hanging fruit first of all. - “low hanging fruit”, fucking hell
another i heard whilst talking to some fool was that his group would have a come to jesus session to see if they could sort out their teamwork issues and once the manager gave the new plan his blessing they would be on their way - “come to jesus session”, “blessing”…
i only ever here ths sh!t off irish cunts , probably the type who bought a house 2 years ago in the suburbs, listen to paddy casey, wear a leinster jersey to work the odd friday , a suit the rest of the week, are unfit and have married a fat yoke in the same industry as them…
never really get this from brits , russians or guys in the middle east