Annual Performance Reviews in work - the audit trail

I’m not a pig. And in anycase pigs are one of the cleanest animals on the planet.

I wouldn’t do that online, to anybody.

:eek:

This has gone past kev is seething

Thinly veiled Kev doesn’t do performance reviews there.

This has gone past kev is seething[/quote]
:eek: Seething, for fooks sake it’s even gone past kevving!!

:pint: kev tries to knock Appendage down. dont think it will happen tho.

Had mine today
Great performance and all that
Tis very odd because me and the boss know I’m top class yet we have to go through the charade

My performance review this year consisted of my manager emailing me the form and telling me to fill out any oul guff I wanted to, as he doesn’t really give a shit about it once you’re making budget. Considering I’m kicking the shit out of my budget, it wasn’t a problem.

I did very well apparently.

The training in my place is actually very good. We have a long running sales performance program that has actually directly led to pretty impressive results for us as a team. I’ve done loads of them at other companies and naturally they were all shite, so I was very cynical about this one, but its actually bloody good. It worries me however that I actually enjoy going into work some days.

Had this recently.
It was a vindication that my former manager was and is totally out of touch with the work that our larger team does and that all I needed was to get out from that toxic environment and work for a sane person who has at least some understanding of what is going on.

There are some undeniable truths of working in a corporate environment.[list]
[]Sell yourself, nobody else will. Bring a marching band if necessary.
[
]If your manager does not get what you do, you’re at nothing. Try match up your skills with theirs. E.g. if you are very technical and they are technically deficient, they will not be able to sell what you do because they don’t get it.
[]Quid pro quo with friends/associates/allies. Positive feedback for positive feedback. Be subtle with less familiar allies. State it outright with friends. My manager was delighted that all the people who had been asked for feedback responded and responded positively. I may have seen that coming.
[
]Go where the money is. What project is best funded? Position yourself to get onto that project. If you are on a project that nobody gives a shit about, nobody will give a shit about you.
[*]Small teams are dangerous. Small teams that contain mainly women are even more dangerous. Sad but true.
[/list]

Corporate environment is so false. Plenty of scope for spoofers and bullshitters to succeed without actually doing anything worthwhile.

I work at TFK Towers.

Dunph is my old boss, obviously.

A couple of things i think help to get on at work:

  • Make yourself as popular as possible with everyone, don’t make enemies with your colleagues.
  • Honesty is the best policy, work hard, don’t ever turn up late or phone in sick unless absolutely necessary.
  • Don’t shirk responsibility or be afraid to make mistakes.

Simple really.

:clap:

Leaders like Dunph, lead.

Shirking Chumps like Farmer, go home with an upset tummy.

Women should not be assembled together in any large group sad but true. The bitching they go with is unreal

Women should not be allowed in the work-place.

Then who’d make my tea?

+1
There’s a gaggle of women where I work and all they do is bitch and moan and stab each other in the back. I’d often pass a day winding them up and watching them run with stories.

Amen brother.
Especially about the women in small teams.
Unfortunately to reflect my boss’s strengths I’d have to get a PhD in chemistry. Might try to get him the sack instead, should be easier.

Here’s a thought, make it yourself.

The only situations where women could be allowed work IMO would be in the likes of diners, department stores or topless bars. I can’t envisage any other situations…

Jesus christ, why has the Dunph not been nominated for the Aras? This man is a born leader. Fall into line. :clap: :clap: :clap: