Hey - that’s not you…
You can’t drive!
Wahey!
C’mon Bandage - tell us all about it, bit of Jugs related entertainment to pass the time on a Friday.
‘When I looked around in the church earlier and saw how beautiful she was I nearly cried.’
Appendage = Weiner.
No - surely not?
Oh good God. Have to be careful here because I’ve an impending marriage but hope to God I don’t say anything like that.
My brother thanked his bride’s auld lad for ‘giving him his beautiful daughter’.
Not on the same level as Appendage’s pukefest though…
[quote=“farmerinthecity”]My brother thanked his bride’s auld lad for ‘giving him his beautiful daughter’.
Not on the same level as Appendage’s pukefest though…[/quote]
That’s actually worse in my opinion because as well as the cringe factor he also metaphorically sucked off her auld lad.
Trust me Rocko, guaranteed you’ll come out with a clanger.
Mine was, and I was trying to be funny here, “Today I felt as nervous as an Offaly cornerback coming up against KK in the Leinster Championship…” tumbleweed
‘I nearly cried’ - come on t’fuck…
[quote=“Locke”]Trust me Rocko, guaranteed you’ll come out with a clanger.
Mine was, and I was trying to be funny here, “Today I felt as nervous as an Offaly cornerback coming up against KK in the Leinster Championship…” tumbleweed[/quote]
That’s very poor but I’d settle for that over the “nearly crying” line.
Ahem. So life goes on. My bride is not impressed with having to share me with TFK but she must know her place in the order of things.
To be fair, I said what I felt and as soon as the words had crossed my lips it hit me the fuckwits at Table 9 would have it on TFK by today. How right I was. If I had to do it all over again I would have rephrased but can’t turn back time.
The Bandage incident caused uproar for the length of time he was stuck in the aisle. Worse still when he actually got to the pulpit he couldn’t reach the mic. Which looked ridicuous.
Warning to therock67 - don’t invite Bandage or cesc4 or jugs. There are many reasons. A masterclass in perving. Incredible. Absolutely incredible. The ratio was incredibly favourable yet the boys could only look and leer.
Only look and leer? I’m preety sure we asked that black-haired bird at our table to show us her tits on several occasions. Here Appendage, whatever became of the fatty friend of your bride that you said you’d set me up with? Finally, I hope your first sexual experience was everything you hoped it would be.
[quote=“Appendage”]
To be fair, I said what I felt…[/quote]
Clown. Idiot.
As if yesterday wasn’t bad enough it’s just dawned on me that I’ve to go out for another day’s drinking with Appendage shortly.
‘When I looked around in the church earlier and saw how beautiful she was I nearly cried.’
Here Bandage - you never actually said if he was referring to his bride when he said that…
I’m pretty sure he was talking about her as he started that gay part of the speech by saying something like ‘what can I say about the bride today?’. The most ridiculous part of the speeches was the bride’s father saying it was an honour to welcome Appendage into their family. Has he not yet realised what a clown Appendage is?
Did she get them out?
No, she refused. There was a table of 10 - 8 lads and 2 very unfortunate girls. No doubt they’ll be permanently scarred by the experience. I recall one particular exchange about who’d taken the biggest shit after the meal and cecs4 asking the two birds if they’d done one yet.
[quote=“therock67”]Oh good God. Have to be careful here because I’ve an impending marriage but hope to God I don’t say anything like that.
[/quote]
To be honest Rock, if I were you I’d be more worried about The Croppy’s speech at your wedding.
During his best man’s speech for Fingal Raven, the Croppy welcomed the priest as follows :
“The Catholic Church has received a bit of bad press recently but (tapping the priest’s shoulder) this cunt’s alright”
[quote=“thedancingbaby”]To be honest Rock, if I were you I’d be more worried about The Croppy’s speech at your wedding.
During his best man’s speech for Fingal Raven, the Croppy welcomed the priest as follows :
“The Catholic Church has received a bit of bad press recently but (tapping the priest’s shoulder) this cunt’s alright”[/quote]
That is tremendous.