Bag of Shit

Interesting story I heard from one of the lads’ girlfriends this weekend. As embarrassing stories go this is right up there. It goes a little something like this;

The said girl and her girlfriends were all out on the piss one night and ended up in the nightclub (most likely coppers) and started engaging in some light flirting with a few gentlemen they met. One “friend” finds herself particulary attracted to one of the lads, who turns out to be a doctor. They engage in some high jinx and she decides to go back back to his place and take some well educated medical cock for the night.

She wakes up the next morning delighted with herself now that she’s finally found the man of her dreams. He has to get up and go to work but being the gentleman that he is he tells her to sleep on and just pull the door out after her when she’s leaving. She gets up after a couple of hours and sits down to good hangover shit but to her disgust she leaves a floater. No matter what she did the little brown trout just won’t disappear. She felt that she needed to dispose of the evidence if she was ever to have a future with this man so she got a plastic bag, retrieved her waste from the toilet and tied it up ready to dispose of it in some bin down the street.

She felt a lot better about herself after this and was once again wet with the anticipation of a wedding, nice house in the leafy suburbs and kids with her very own George Clooney. She went downstairs and left a note for her future H2B (as they would say on WOL), something along the lines of;

“Hi doctor, had a really great night last night and would love to meet up again some time, here’s my number etc…”

She then proceeded to exit the premises and closed the door behind to be suddenly struck with that fear that she had forgotten something. Her bag of shit, left beside the lovely note that she wrote for the man of her dreams


Fran, is that one of those urban myth stories?

Funny but I’ve heard it a few times before.

You don’t need to remove the offending trout at all!!! You simply reach in and push it to the back where it then floats up to the other side of the u-trap out of sight.

[quote=“Bandage”]Fran, is that one of those urban myth stories?

Funny but I’ve heard it a few times before.[/quote]

Yeah heard that story as well…I have a great one but i don’t want to say too much on here as I might go down in the estimations of other users on here…

I really don’t think that’s possible. Go on, share it

Tell us but pretend it’s about a friend. We’ll never guess it was actually you.

I saw a video of this on one of those Chris Tarrant shows before, some advert for summat or other, think it was Aussie tv.

A ‘friend of mine’ went back to a house party of a lad he couldn’t stand when he was about 17/18…ended up taking a sizable scuttery dump in the jacks only to realise there was no toilet paper…what with the music from the party blarring there was no point roaring for toilet paper…With McGyver like ingeinuity and cunning he noticed a hand towel hanging up beside the sink…don’t think i need to say too much more except that the hand towle was hung back upo afterwards and some poor cunt came in and washed their hands got a nasty surprise(he was also a spastic so it was a double bonus)…

Your friend is a sick cunt. I hope you don’t hang around with him anymore.

Oh how the two of us laugh when we think back to that great great night…I have an even better one runt…PM me…can’t be saying anymore on the main board…

[quote=“Bandage”]Fran, is that one of those urban myth stories?

Funny but I’ve heard it a few times before.[/quote]

I thought that aswell but my friend says he’s actually met the person it’s happened to so either it’s happened or someone is bullshitting somewhere along the line

PM? Is it a story about Bertie Ahern or Charlie Haughey taking a dump?

it isn’t but i don’t want to be putting up any more stories like that on the interweb…PM me on it bandage you won’t be disappointed

They’re bullshitting. If I had the inclination, I’d say I could find the ad on youtube somewhere.

yeah i think you are right mbb…thinki might have seen an ad for it on Tarrant on Tv…think it was for a locksmiths?..

I’ve done that in a birds gaff. A right stuck up cow so she was but i also used the face-cloth and folded it up and put it back on the sink…

Think thats the one.

Revenge is a dish best served cold…although it this case it would be warm:D…

It’s a good one but I’ve heard it before. Can’t see any bird (if it was true) telling anyone about the incident.