On a Friday mid-noon, Headed on down to the aul battle cruiser,
five fifty over the bar for a pint of pear
from sip one I knew I was onto a loser,
bring it back to the barkeep though, I did not dare.
The first glass it did become empty,
so I went to the bar with another twenty,
and the pint glass is was filled with ice a plenty,
I then did know, this session would become lengthy.
After the second pint my stomach it wasnât on the ball,
the below regions began their scowl,
the toilet bowl it did call,
while on the pot a local dog it did growl.
Before my arse hit the jacks, off it was fit for eating,
the smell that became was awful fowl,
fair to say the ceramic took a horrible beating,
it became a shade of brown similar to Colin Powell.
Back to the beer garden I did go
âAye Ben another pint it is so?â
âThat would be a big no noâ
Ah Ben, why so?"
So the story told here I did tell,
about the Bulmers Pear Cider aftershock hell,
although on a hot day it is indeed cold,
donât go there, unless youâre really bold.
Itâs piss alright, most of the lads I know who drink cider would have maybe one or two bottles to break up their intake of th enormal jungle juice, but I donât think I know anyone who would drink this shit for the whole night.
Great stuff there Ben.
All cider is muck imo. Havnt been able to stomach the stuff since piercing holes in the arse end of flaggans of yarlington mills and downing in the whole lot in one and then puking it back up within minutes, back when I was a young fella. Even the fukin smell of it now makes me fookin nauceous.
The âRoyal Goldâ Belgian stuff you get in the Champagne style bottle in Dunnes is the ticket, Iâm telling you. Not session material of course but lovely for easy homestead imbibing, and grand with the food.
This Pear cider really seems to be catching on though. Saw plenty of people drinking it over the weekend. Had a taste of it, it seems to me to be the sort of drink that would be grand for a couple of pints but youâd get sick of it fairly quickly after that. I wonât be budging from my apples anyways.
Speaking of girly drinks I had a very strange day in East Belfast drinking West Coast Cooler yesterday. I did have plenty of beer aswell but I must confess to having a 750ml bottle of âLiltâ as I liked to call it aswell. Very refreshing but not kosker.
Truely the Drink of Kings.