Compulsive Liars are hilarious

#1

Was just watching a thing there on More4 where this fella started going out with a girl and told her he was an MI5 agent and that the jewellery store she worked in was being targeted by a gang of thieves.
He had her over to his flat[which he had rented for the day] and told her the car outside [alfa romeo or something] was his. He bought her loads of goods and holidays [all in credit cards in her name].
He totally broke her by the end of it saying that the gang were after him and her.
He had her believe he was attacked by the gang, he punched himself to make his lip bleed, ripped his shirt and turned their hotel room upside down. Serious commitment to the cause, which in a strange way, I really respect.

Got me thinking about this corker of a thread I found on boards.ie one day.

Anyway, do any of ye have good tales of lads ye know this type of shit.
I find that most of the products of compulsive lying are hilarious.

A lad I know from Kilkenny does this kind of shit all the time.
Every time me or any of my friends meet him he has a new tall tale.
It usually involves cars or something more extravagent.
Either his dad or his brother have either just got a new car or wrote off the new car that they have just got.
That or someone belong to him has been attacked or knocked down. [We have verified a number of these stories especially as bullshit. Usually because one of my other friends is neighbours with him and finds out the truth right away.]
His best one was he told us he won a yacht in a game of cards.

Bless him he is a simple soul behind it all. He must know we know it is all bullshit.

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#2

A lad we used to hang around with used to go a bit crazy with the lies.

Told us he was in college doing medicine in Prague or somewhere one year when we kept seeing him in the shops and stuff and he’d say he was just home for the day. Apparently he’s head of some insurance company in the UK now but I met him recently enough working as a bouncer in town. Told me the club were having trouble with scumbags and they knew he was a right tough bastard from years ago so they rang him up and paid him a fortune to work the door for a night. Fucking clown!

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#3

Pikeman and I were in school with a lad who apparently jumped on Eric Cantonas back after he scored a goal in Old Trafford one day :rolleyes:

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#4

cunts that lie about the quantity and quality of birds they rode really annoys me…

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#5

Know a couple of compulsive liars. They’re fairly normal lads in the scheme of things who will lie regualrly even when there’s seemingly very little benefit to it. It’s truly bizarre. For example, you’d ask has anyone been in a certain pub or restaurant and yer man would reply that he had and it wasn’t bad when in fact he’d never been there in his life. This would extend to films, matches, or things that had happened, anything really.

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#6

One of my mates in college used be unreal for it. I presume he still is because it was at the stage where the truth was no longer was of any value to him.

I think it started from the shit he used to tell women, who will in fairness believe just about anything, but for a finish it was a central feature of any conversation he had. More than the huge, crazy tales, it was more a case of him presenting stuff that he clearly just made up as undisputed fact. He knew nothing about sport for example, but was so desperate to cover up this fact he would defend for hours the most truly ridiculous rubbish you ever heard in your life. One of the most embarrassing was the day we were talking about some old firm derby, and he was insisting that rangers despite trailing by four points could go top if they won because it was ‘a six point game’. He had at least six different versions of his upbringing, lots of people who knew him quite well used to know him by different first names, and he had a habit of telling you the same stories five or six times, but with him as a different character on each occasion.

Despite all this he was generally regarded as an alright sort, albeit one that was destined to experience a mental breakdown someday.

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#7

a few lads i know were having a few beers one evenin in a bar when one of them commented that the a bank had sent him a statement sayin he had 60k in an account that he didnt even know about,now this fella is a bit of a jew when it comes to money he knows where every penny is,dont know why people come out with this kinda shite

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#8

Nothing better than a compulsive liar, friend of mine is gas, he would tell me one thing and another lad something completely different…He went off to a cousin of his stag in London the other week(didn’t tell us this), he told me he was going to London to buy a motorbike and he told the other lad he was going over meeting a young one…

He used to be in FAS below in CIT doing his apprenticeship, every weekend we would get a run down of the women he was with during the week and whether they were shite in bed or not…the same cunt wouldn’t pull a bird up here to save his life…But he is harmless enough all the same

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#9

I was a roadie for Ocean Colour Scene for two years.

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#10

I spent 6 months in a training camp in Northern Libya in the late 80’s.

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#11

I once served as minister for finance but never bothered to open a bank account.

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#12

Bumped into this guy last night.
He told me that he is on the Ireland ice-hockey squad. Now, I know he played a bit of roller hockey and that he was a bit of a hockey fan but playing for Ireland… ok.
I decided to see how much more specific information I could get out of him.
Him: So I’m on the Irealnd Ice-Hockey team.
Me: Are you yeah? Cool.
Him: Yeah, we are playing against Germany in the Odyssey tomorrow. [We were in the pub drinking, he was clearly half cut. Playing an international sports match the following day]
Me: So Ice-Hockey is combined Northern Ireland and Republic side.
Him: Oh, it is yeah. [not true]
Me: Where do you play?
Him: I’m a defender
Me: Do you play on the left or the right.
Him: [Points to his left] Right
Me: So are you on the first string team or whatever.
Him: So there is 3 lines. I’m on the 2nd line.
Me: How did you get on that?
Him: I was playing with a team in Dundalk and I did trials for the National team.
Me: Did you get much mention in the local paper about it?
Him: No, I got bigger attention from [a different activity he’s involved in. I can’t say what it is as it’d make it far too easy to identify him]
Him: I was talking to Brian Cody about it… [I stopped paying attention at this point]

He was pretty convincing so I wanted to make sure I remembered all he said so I could try verify it in the morning.
I had a quick look on the Irish ice-hockey site.
They Irish senior side are in Croatia:
The Senior Irish National Team have arrived safely in Zagreb, Croatia for the 2011 IIHF World Championship Division II Group B where they will face off against Bulgaria, China, Iceland, Romania and host Croatia.
There is also the squad list up there.
:smiley: :lol:

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#13

What a fucking clown. :lol:

Must come from low self esteem or something I assume.

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#14

We do have one team for the country

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#15

Really, there is a GBR team and lads from a Belfast team on it.
I assumed too much.

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#16

Yeah Irish team represents the whole country. Very few sports are partionist actually.

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#17

Good thread this.

I know a compulsive liar. Amongst his tales are:

  • He was sacked by Gwenth Paltrow who had employed him as a child minder while he was in the US for a few month. He had inadvertently hit the child.
  • He got so many points in his leaving cert that he was offered to return the following year to his old school to teach honours maths.
  • Following completion of his degree, he was offered a scholarship to Havard, but instead decided to enter the accounting profession at 20k a year.
  • He designed many bars in Dublin, such as the Exchequer and the Baggot Inn, as well as the cocktail menus in both.
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#18

I told you all of those things in confidence.

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#19

that link to boards was unreal. Some unbelievable stuff been outted there. A fella saying he’s gets the gay when drunk? Fucking hell!

I wonder do they have lads over there as obsessed with finding out who people are as there is here. If there is he’s fucked.

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#20

i am a compulsive liar

figure that one out. :blink:

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