Further Things That Are Wrong (Part 1)

Cicero_Dandi · July 18, 2019, 3:47pm

Bandage:

I had a traumatic lift experience returning to the office after lunch.

I’ve since checked and the lift is a 13 person / 1,000kg type affair.

But at a glance you’d think that 9 would fit into it relatively comfortably in a 3x3 formation as per my grid lines above.

Anyway I pressed the button to call the lift in an empty foyer. It arrived, I got in, selected my floor and stood in the back right position (as you face outwards) donated by the “B” in the image. B is for Bandage or Brian.

I was about to hit the close door button when a chap breathlessly arrived into the lift after me.

There’s no debate here. If you enter a lift and sombody’s already in the back right position then you take any of the spots on the left as indicated by “X” in the picture.

However, this weird creep kind of walked deep into lift as if he was going to walk into me, abruptly stopped in my personal space and turned around. He was straddling the middle and back right zones and was practically backing into me as reflected by the “A” in the image.

I’ve never experienced anything like it.

It sounds like you were sexually harassed. There’s no end to the extent of toxic masculinity.

Ambrose_McNulty · July 18, 2019, 3:48pm

Do you think that he was a homosexual man emboldened by the success of Pride month?

glenshane · July 18, 2019, 3:54pm

Now you know how the lakota feel

anon26343222 · July 18, 2019, 4:00pm

So X is a person so are a and b. I see the logic of his thinking. He was like OK there are weirdos queuing in some formation so better get in line here. The scene was set before he entered, don’t think Mr a is to blame here.

Cicero_Dandi · July 18, 2019, 4:05pm

The banking sector have been sponsoring pride lately. They’re getting their employees to fall in.

tazdedub · July 18, 2019, 4:08pm

That’s a horrifying experience. I don’t know how you managed to make it through the afternoon.

Mac · July 18, 2019, 4:34pm

Bandage:

I had a traumatic lift experience returning to the office after lunch.

I’ve since checked and the lift is a 13 person / 1,000kg type affair.

But at a glance you’d think that 9 would fit into it relatively comfortably in a 3x3 formation as per my grid lines above.

Anyway I pressed the button to call the lift in an empty foyer. It arrived, I got in, selected my floor and stood in the back right position (as you face outwards) donated by the “B” in the image. B is for Bandage or Brian.

I was about to hit the close door button when a chap breathlessly arrived into the lift after me.

There’s no debate here. If you enter a lift and sombody’s already in the back right position then you take any of the spots on the left as indicated by “X” in the picture.

However, this weird creep kind of walked deep into lift as if he was going to walk into me, abruptly stopped in my personal space and turned around. He was straddling the middle and back right zones and was practically backing into me as reflected by the “A” in the image.

I’ve never experienced anything like it.

Take the stairs next time. Tis no wonder you can’t break the 25 minute mark with your weak calves

Batigol · July 18, 2019, 4:38pm

I don’t think it’s going overboard to say that’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to anyone.

No way you can go back to work tomorrow after that

anon61878697 · July 18, 2019, 4:43pm

The same two suspects turning into a homosexual debate… They are obsessed with gays… Just come out ffs.

TheUlteriorMotive · July 18, 2019, 5:22pm

Was this guy somebody who looked like they were not native. He may not have much experience of lifts and lift etiquette and has deliberately stayed near the Buttons.

I can imagine @londonbandage on TFK UK seething in 2005 about a young Wexford man standing on the left hand side of a Tube Escalator

gilgamboa · July 18, 2019, 5:28pm

Juat good parking. Maybe he was expecting a big crowd to get on at the next floor

flattythehurdler · July 18, 2019, 6:11pm

No, that’s really oddball behaviour.
Have you checked you still have your wallet @bandage?

maroonandwhite · July 18, 2019, 6:23pm

Good power move by this guy. Assert his dominance, mark bandages card as a pushover.

backinatracksuit · July 18, 2019, 7:08pm

Can you still stop a lift mid floor by pulling the doors apart?

anon78624367 · July 18, 2019, 7:16pm

The guy had to go the buttons. To avoid this in future, press your floor and go and stand back left.

anon61878697 · July 18, 2019, 7:16pm

it would have been a real master stoke if he dropped one just before exiting the lift and letting bandage there choking on the fumes.

anon98850436 · July 18, 2019, 8:04pm

Supposedly in Meath

TheUlteriorMotive · July 18, 2019, 8:11pm

the Trojan Horse was a good ol one when a youth

Into lift, press button for the floor above, fart and get out

PhattPike · July 18, 2019, 10:43pm

Mac:

Bandage:

I had a traumatic lift experience returning to the office after lunch.

I’ve since checked and the lift is a 13 person / 1,000kg type affair.

But at a glance you’d think that 9 would fit into it relatively comfortably in a 3x3 formation as per my grid lines above.

Anyway I pressed the button to call the lift in an empty foyer. It arrived, I got in, selected my floor and stood in the back right position (as you face outwards) donated by the “B” in the image. B is for Bandage or Brian.

I was about to hit the close door button when a chap breathlessly arrived into the lift after me.

There’s no debate here. If you enter a lift and sombody’s already in the back right position then you take any of the spots on the left as indicated by “X” in the picture.

However, this weird creep kind of walked deep into lift as if he was going to walk into me, abruptly stopped in my personal space and turned around. He was straddling the middle and back right zones and was practically backing into me as reflected by the “A” in the image.

I’ve never experienced anything like it.

Take the stairs next time. Tis no wonder you can’t break the 25 minute mark with your weak calves

+1
Our office is on the 6th floor, which means the lift travel time (LTT) is above the threshold for awkward work conversations breaking out (It’s weird weather at the moment isn’t it? What did you get up to last weekend? What will you get up to this weekend? Limerick had a big win in the Hurling Cup at the weekend, didn’t they?).

The stairs is your only man. I haven’t gone over 25 mins in two years.

Bandage · July 18, 2019, 10:48pm

To paraphrase Derek McGrath, I’ll be taking this as a learning from this unseemly episode. I take your point to a certain extent but I’d usually take a side on approach to the buttons if someone’s already stationed back right and I’d then edge over to the unoccupied left side.