A valid point indeed. Weāve churned it over this past few weeks and I did my best to convince him of the course of action he was on. He was down in the mouth because heād done his best but had nothing left and she was hard work. God help her sheād grab the phone and have the welcome of the world for me, sing a verse of a song and then burst out cryingā¦ā¦It surely isnāt the docket you sign for when your in your 20ās or 30āsā¦ā¦
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No thatās for sure. One of the consolations of the the damage the haemo has done to me is that I probably wonāt get that far.
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I hope none of us get that far fagan. Certainly not me anyway. I think society ekes people out too long these days. We are too cowardly to face the inevitable.
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As my sister once said, a home without people is only a house.
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The dead only know one thing. Itās better to be alive.
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The dead donāt know anything mate.
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Thatās the point. Weāre in the middle of it with both mam and dad. Mama J is in severe pain a lot of the time these days and Juhy senior is well along on the heart failure journey. Their quality of life is questionable and the good days are few and far between. And yet out of the blue, last week dad had a great day. He was lucid, my bro took him for a pint, he ate some lobster and got the sun on his face. He went home and stayed awake for an entire match on the TV. Thatās as good as it gets for him but if that keeps him going then thatās fantastic. Itās easy to say kill me quick when Iām old as a middle aged man but when I get there I hope Iāll be fighting tooth and nail for every day like my folks.
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Your post has made my morning Juhy. Where thereās a glimmer, thereās hope.
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Thatās impossible to fathom
Life is precious, every second counts, watched my late brother in Marymount gasping for air as that bloody machine at the bottom of the bed slowly killed him
( late 50s
So thank God he spares ppl as long as the body can cope, long life to both boyš
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Every second
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And herselfās grandad had pacemakers, defibrillators, you name it, and ended up sicker and angrier and more depressed and more confused and in a nursing home wishing for death for five years, and died aged 99 having alienated most of his circle. Itās also easy to say from the comfort of middle age that you hope youāll be fighting tooth and nail when your life is subsiding around you. When it comes to pass you may think differently.
Iām glad you had a good day with your dad. I just donāt wish to end up like that myself. I have an open enough mind on whether Iāll change when my feet are held to the fire, but I doubt it.
Itās like that uucoam in the Tory govt who campaigned vocally against assisted suicide, and was a loudmouth virtue signaller, denigrating campaigners and sufferers. Well heās now got motor neurone disease, and guess what ?
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I suppose we both just have different opinions and thatās fair enough.
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Different experiences maybe. I live in absolute fear of being in a nursing home, or being dependent or a burden on the kids. I spose I think Iāll walk on silently into the night, and leave nothing behind to say I ever existed
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Mam spent about 3/4 months in a nursing home at the start of covid. It was inhuman (in terms of isolating people completely, not the physical care) and she actually went nuts. Youād ring her and sheād be off her rocker talking mental stuff. The isolation and lack of stimulus is a killer. Iād hate to be in one. At that point you could easily say fuck it, shed be better off dying. Within a week of coming home she was back to herself mentally. She requires a lot of care. We are very lucky there are 6 of us and we are all based in Dublin. But youād see her with the grandkids and the energy and enthusiasm she can still have for life and it would lift you. I guess if thereās a fight in the person you gotta do everything you can.
We all spend a day a week at least with my folks and overnights too so in that way it is a burden on us and our partners and families. But itās also a privilege to help the people that reared you in their worst moments.
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A noble post Juhy, great sentiments and good wishes to them both. As an aside two of my lads are moving into a gaff in South Dublin on Monday. Wanā of them rocked up the other night to āborrowā a few power tools to smooth the processā¦ Grrrrā¦
I was getting Nanny up yesterday and she wondered where the corner unit was gone, not that there had been one. We discussed the matter rationally I thought but noā¦ That fucker took it for the new house, look you can see where he dragged it along the carpetā¦
Itās still missing this morning and Iām now being accused of giving them a present of it.
My concern revolves around the safe return of my drills and not the fictional cabinet.
Youād laugh at times ā¦
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It seems that Papa J was channelling you again
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Everything alright mate?
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Your Da was a great man.
For your family, for the parish and for the country.
I was occasionally emboldened by a six pack of Royal Dutch and offered my ill judged political opinions in a debate against him. Needless to say he always destroyed me.
He never fully appreciated my less cultured approach to association football but Iād always try and impress him when he was judging from the sideline of San Greeno. He couldnāt understand why my left foot wouldnāt work.
And he never begrudged his kids running a drop in centre at home for all sorts of vagabonds and wannabe musicians and actors and drunks. Iād particularly enjoy the theatre of a big man from darkest Tipperary urging āExeuntā to a crowd of bleary eyed Fingallians at 4 am.
A real aura about him wherever he was. A proper Da.
NĆ beidh a leitheid aris ann.
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Thatās a beautiful post, obviously I didnāt know the man but youāve painted a lovely picture,
Sincere condolences on your loss @Juhniallio, he sounds like a legend
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