ok, i know its muldoon gibberish but is @anon67715551 saying he slapped a widow?
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Sigh, could someone please ladybird it for this poor misfortunate jackeen.
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Thereās a app - Muldoonspeak. You could try installing it and youāll be on your bike so to speak.
Did somebody here castigate you lately for not embedding stuff correctly or am I dreaming.
Anyhow, that aside, you have my mobile, give me a bell if stuck on anything. 
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Iām only demanding perfection from a top top poster such as yourself
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Iāll have a word. Ridiculous what a poster of your standing has to suffer. *
- Mumbles silently to selfā¦ā¦
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Well thatās a turnip for the books
There always one auld cunt that stalls the process.Theyāre usually right in front of me leaving me standing trying to make small talk with some family member I donāt know.
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Sure they love their day out.
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I know that many lonely people, usually non drinkers view funerals as a social outlet, sure what harm are they doing.
Any time I stood beside a coffin I was quite happy to put up with any and all conversation that somebody wanted to make after going to the trouble of coming
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Thereās a certain protocol attached to removals/funerals. You attend, you know someone close to the deceased, wife, son etc., Your aim is to offer a quick word of consolation (God be good to him but Paddy was a topper - Paddy may in fact have been a bad bastard butā¦) bless the corpse and leave the corpse room and on with your day.
This process is frequently disrupted because somebody (invariably a woman) decides sheāll regale the grieving widow about some mundane incident 40 years ago when the intrepid Paddy
Crashed the car coming from the pub.
Pulled a bullock barehanded out of a bog hole.
Came Christmas morning to fix the boiler and guff of this nature.
Itās not the general running of things but has crept in recently. Scalder calls it a Covid removalā¦.
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You need to understand that @anon67715551 is a man about town, heās rising 5 funerals a week at this stage. He canāt afford any nonsense
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Iād walk out of a shop leaving my trolley and never go back if I felt slighted, thereās many forms of protest Iād take , but queuing to pay my respects and charging off in a huff at some lonely old lady Iād draw the line at
Sheās a bit late to the party, tiās all sown up.
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I noticed the other evening that the cuter and more experienced of these clients tend to arrive close to the latter end of proceedings so as not to inconvenience the queue. The majority were male, surprisingly, the most long-winded of which was an elderly Republican, who was about to start describing his life on the run when my mother gently nudged him to her left in my direction.
So impressed was I with her dexterity that I applied the same move mid-handshake and delivered him to my brothers. Unfortunately, there was an elderly uncle at the end of the line who was only too happy to indulge in a two-hander of rĆ”imĆ©Ćs with hm.
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Covid funerals were ideal for funerals where you only had one target.
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Sometimes I feel you take this place too seriously. Roll with the punches is the key to itā¦.
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A lovely little put downš
Just making an observation, 
Unintentional - more of a sharing wisdom moment.
Thatās cool.
Look, Iām 47 years old, I know a thing or two about funerals/removals, I donāt need lessonsš
And telling somebody they take it too seriously is an obvious put down, we have a different take on the situation you described, I assume you relayed it as it happened?
Iād have waited and given my condolences having gone in the first place.