Gary Speed - RIP

When I stated that that was a fine post by sid, I meant in the regard that it was honest, genuine and open. I did not agree with the premise of his argument as was pointed out.

+1

Some people are of stronger character than others and I think that is testament to their upbringing.

Ya I would agree with that but some lads just can’t take it and the switch just gets flipped in their head,happened with my own best friend 4 years ago.

The culture of constant ridicule of both public figures and other posters, which I’m not complaining about otherwise I wouldn’t post here. There is a general nastiness to which I’m a frequent contributor. Also the culture of mindless materialism I was complaining about, and just general shallowness, does reflect in quite a few posts*, although I think the people who post here are mostly alright sorts. What happens on this forum is just a reflection of the wider society.

*do not ask me to quote posts which reflect mindless materialism and general shallowness

That is interesting and is something I have thought about. If you come from an environment where you have encountered crisis situations/triggers for mental anguish and these have been resolved in an appropriate way e.g. communication, then you are better equiped to deal with these situations later in life.

For some people when they encounter crises for first time they may not know how to deal with these crises or when they did encounter crises in the past they may not have been resolved appropriately and that can lead to bad decisions been taken.

If you look at the field of sport psychology, it aims to help players and teams to deal with crisis situations. Maybe we need more of this type of communication/strategies in schools.

If you’ve had to work hard to get somewhere in life you are a lot more appreciative of it and it gives you a much more hardened emotional attitude.

good point

Sid bang on the money here.

I would like to extend my sympathies to the Speed family, especially the children. What Gary has done is an absolute disgrace.

That perhaps goes back to what Fenway said about some of the kids he teaches?

I think that’s extraordinarily harsh language to be fair.

I’d imagine so. I know suicide wasn’t as much of an issue when I was growing up, my own personal take on that was there was more hardships then but we were subjected to them from an early age and it was nothing new to us when we began to enter adulthood. Lads in who grew up in the 90’s did not have the same level of hardships in their lives and as Fenway elaborated on - don’t know how to handle these situations. Mental illness, like depression is another issue though. I don’t find it suitable to comment on that.

I don’t.
I may sympathise with a 22 year old who has little life experience and many issues taking their own life. But for a man of 42 who has a wife and two beautiful children to die by his own hand is nearly unforgivable. Yes, you have to respect the problems some people may be going through, and obviously Mr Speed felt that he couldn’t face his issues anymore but to leave two kids behind is unthinkable to me. Those children will be scarred for life.
Let’s say Gary was murdered, could you imagine the hatred and calls for justice for his murderer? Gary killed himself, no matter what the circumstances they couldn’t be made better by leaving your wife a widow and your children fatherless.
I have been effected by suicide in the past so it’s not a throw away comment I’m making here. I find his actions incredibly selfish, I would sympathise with his family for the rest of their days but he will get none.

Your contributions are fairly outrageous here and also complete and utter horseshite. You’re saying that suicide must be somehow the fault of someone’s upbringing and that if you have had to struggle hard you are less likely to commit suicide?
You’re basically trying to claim some kind of superiority for yourself over people who commit suicide.
In the culture of internet boards of trying to make oneself look good no matter what the topic this takes some beating.

I don’t think strength of character is relevant in most cases of depression. There are all sorts of triggers - many of which might have no external cause - that can cause or increase depression. There’s no doubt that experts can help people in how they deal with anxiety and cognitive depression and the various triggers but it’s not often possible to prevent it resurfacing and it’s not reflective of anything in their upbringing.

OK, just to play devil’s advocate, is suicide something you feel should be vilified more in the media and in society? Does the discussion of the matter through the language of compassion and sympathy make it seem like a viable and almost romantic way out for some people?

I think you might have picked him up wrong here gola,You can see where he’s coming from on this even if you don’t agree.

This is plainly ridiculous. Gary Speed is dead. Your sympathy would be irrelevant anyway. It’s his family that would feel the pain of any criticism of him.

this here is a reason that suicide doesnt get the attention it deserves in Ireland. its people like this who have scorn on the person committing suicide, rather than try seek out a problem and calling them a disgrace. suicide here is almost seen as an embarresment. so its covered up. its seen as selfish and that the person needs a bit of ‘cop on’, or that ‘they had what they needed, how could they be thinking of suicide’. it doesnt work like that. its an illness. and like common illnesses, if its not treated, will not be resolved. if there isnt prevention methods, then it will keep happening. people look at suicide from a sound state of mind, and one they cant envisage. the person committing suicide is not of sound mind, and thinks that what they are doing is the best thing. obviously it is not, but to call them a disgrace is ridiculous, and certainly something I would never agree with.

I’m no expert Rocko. Some cases of suicide seem to result off the back of some sort of tragedy or hardship. People of stronger character will get through this, we all feel sorry for ourselves at times, we may all feel the “why me?”, I don’t know if anyone is exempt from those inner-thoughts? But if you’re of a strong character you’ll get through it. I’m sure we all know people whose life cycle and the hardships and suffering endured would put all our perceived problems to shame, yet they’ve got through it and soldiered on. Some people don’t have that same resolves and I think, my own opinion, that a lot of it is connected with your upbringing.