Gazza

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[quote=“farmerinthecity”]Think Ferguson came out and said something like that as well - if he only joined us instead of Spurs I would have saved him.

I suppose you can walk on water as well you cunt.[/quote]

:smiley:

he didnt exactly save Mcgrath

22

shows the difference between the English and Irish when it comes to sporting heroes…Mcgrath has been given the privacy to live his life whatever way he sees fit without much public intrusion and is remembered and appreciated for what he did on the pitch…poor gazza has been turned into a village idiot for the world to see every week falling round a different city by the english press…we know he’s sick, doesn’t want help, so should be just left alone instead of the same themed story plastered over the papers every time ridiculing him…its old news and its cheap…

1 Like
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i think if gazza was irish he’d be no different in person or in the media.
mcgrath was/is a very different animal, an alcoholic and an introvert who has chosen the quite life, for now.
gazza chose to be a clown and got treated like a clown.

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Gascoigne settles up with taxman

Thursday, 8 January 2009 12:11
Paul Gascoigne avoided a bankruptcy hearing in London tomorrow, after settling his differences with the taxman.

His name has been taken out of the list scheduled for hearing at the High Court, after evenue and Customs dropped the case.
The taxman had applied for a bankruptcy petition in November last year when Gascoigne was said to have failed to file tax returns for the past two years.

It was agreed to give him a nine-week breathing space to put his affairs in order over the debt of an estimated 200,000 liability.
His solicitor, Craig Montgomery, said after the first hearing: ‘There is no suggestion that he doesn’t have the funds to meet his tax liabilities. It is just a question of having time to make the returns.’

Gascoigne does not have a regular income. It comes from books and appearances, and he has overseas interests.

The 41-year-old former footballer, who has been treated for alcohol and mental health problems, was once one of football’s highest paid stars. At one stage it was reported that he was worth 14m. He played for England 57 times and scored 10 goals for his country.

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What the fuck??

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  1. One hour after playing for England, met ‘showbiz pals’ Danny Baker and Chris Evans in a Hampstead pub while still wearing his full kit… boots included.

  2. When asked for his nationality before an operation, told the nurse: “Church Of England.”

  3. On a trip to London, jumped out of his car to demand “a go” on a workman’s pneumatic drill. After getting the go-ahead, happily pounded the pavement to the amusement of shoppers.

  4. On first meeting with Lazio’s president to discuss his big-money move to the Italian club, was quick to tell the esteemed gentleman that he reminded him of Bud Abbot.

  5. Organisers of Italia 90 TV coverage had the splendid idea of augmenting team line-ups with film of each player mouthing his own name. Gascoigne’s genius led him to subvert the process by, instead, mouthing ‘Fing Wker’. The BBC had to use it all the way through the tournament.

  6. Booked a series of sun-bed sessions for then-Newcastle team-mate Tony Cunningham. Who, of course, is black.

  7. Asked by a Norwegian camera crew if he had a message for England’s upcoming opponents, immediately responded with, “Yes. F**k off Norway.” Then ran off laughing.

8.) Turned up for England training the morning after then-manager Bobby Robson had called him “daft as a brush” with a floor brush sticking out of his sock.

  1. When asked for a footballing comment while at Lazio, burped enthusiastically into a TV microphone. He was fined 39,000.

  2. Decided it would be a great idea to have massive hair extensions. Looked a fool and had them taken out a day later.

  3. After paying for ex-wife Sheryl’s breasts implants, sent flowers to the hospital after the operation addressed to ‘Dolly Parton’.

  4. Astounded commuters in London by jumping on a double-decker in London’s Piccadilly Circus and asking if he could have a drive. The bus driver said yes, and the passengers thoroughly enjoyed Gazza’s impromptu performance.

  5. Sent a rose to the Wimbledon dressing room for Vinnie Jones after the infamous ball-squeezing incident. Got a toilet brush in return.

  6. Set up best mate Jimmy ‘Five Bellies’ Gardner with a ‘girl’ he knew to be a transvestite.

  7. Has taken the p*** out of refs constantly during his career. On one occasion he sniffed a hapless ref’s armpit while he was holding his hand high to signal a free kick.

  8. Undeterred by their frosty reactions, Gazza again tried to prove that refs have a sense of humour by yellow-carding the referee after the official had dropped his card during a Rangers v Hibs game. He was booked for his troubles.

  9. While attempting to deflect the ‘kebab controversy’ which spelled the beginning of the end of his England career, assured reporters that his doner-munching antics following Middlesbrough’s promotion to the Premiership would in no way affect his fitness before France 98. One reporter asked: “What do you feel like now?” Back came the inevitable response: “I feel like a kebab with onions.”

  10. As an apprentice desperate to impress then-Newcastle boss Jack Charlton, spent a week’s money on fishing gear and begged the famous angler to give him a lesson. On arrival at the riverbank, Charlton promptly threw all but the rod out into the briny, then poured a bottle of Newcastle Brown into the water, dipped in the rod and within seconds was pulling out a whopper. Lesson over.

  11. As ‘perk’ of boot-cleaning duties during his apprenticeship, took Kevin Keegan’s Golas home to show his mates. But left them on the Newcastle Underground.

  12. When playing for England against Belgium in Italia 90, ridiculed Enzo Scifo as he lay on the ground clutching his leg. Gazza thought he was play-acting, so did a mime of his own which involved hopping on one leg with his tongue lolling out.

  13. His attempt to jet off to Libya with Middlesbrough for a post-season tour was hampered by the fact he’d left his passport at home. An emotional Gazza wept at the check-in desk until a minion was despatched to bring it to the airport.

  14. Celebrated his new-found hero status after flying home from Italia 90 by wearing a huge pair of fake plastic boobs and stomach bearing the legend ‘Gazza’.

  15. On meeting the president of Denmark’s FA, pretended he could speak Danish. When invited to demonstrate, imitated The Muppet Show’s Swedish Chef.

  16. Conned Five Bellies into eating a mince pie after he’d scraped out the filling and replaced it with cat excrement.

  17. Walked into the Middlesbrough canteen wearing nothing but his training socks and ordered lunch.

  18. Paid 320 for a Mars Bar in a newsagents in his home town of Dunston, then told the shop owner to spend the change on sweets for local kids.

  19. Whilst dining in the prestigious Bedford Arms Hotel in Woburn with a few of his Geordie mates, decided to place his erect member on the shoulder of a diner at the next table. Thinking someone had tapped him on the shoulder the gentleman turned his head only to have Gazza’s helmet prod him in the cheek.

  20. Took a documentary team to a beautiful Scottish cottage which he informed them was his new place, pretended he’d forgotten his key and knocked instead. When the door opened, told the befuddled housewife inside that he was doing a telly advert and wanted to know if she preferred Daz or Omo.

  21. Crashed Middlesbrough’s team bus at the club’s training ground and caused 310,000 worth of damage.

  22. While at Rangers, urinated over sleeping team-mate Richard Gough.

  23. Handed 1000 over to Jimmy Five Bellies after betting that the burly boozer couldn’t withstand a cigarette lighter’s heat on the bridge of his nose for five seconds. Jimmy could. Twice.

  24. After briefly giving up drinking, was advised to find a new interest. Picked bingo.

  25. Bought a 1000 robot and programmed it to travel into Jimmy Five Bellies’ room at Gazza Towers and announce: “Make a cup of tea, fat man.”

  26. Stuck his tongue out when the TV cameras panned past him during the national anthem at Italia 90.

  27. Prepared for England matches during that hugely important tournament by playing marathon games of tennis in the scorching midday sun.

  28. Thought it would be appropriate to wear a blue fright wig before the 1991 FA Cup Final.

  29. In his time, has agreed to dress as a Roman centurion, a clown, Oliver Hardy and Braveheart for ‘photo opportunities’. 38) While his Italia 90 team-mate was the hero of Hillsborough, marched into a Sheffield barbers and demanded “a Waddle cut”.

  30. When Gazza signed for Spurs in 1988, he came down to finalise the deal with a bunch of his Geordie mates. They took over the posh hotel in Hadley Wood where Spurs were footing the bill and wreaked havoc. Gazza met then-chairman Irving Scholar and began talks by saying, “We’d like to thank you for the best three days of our lives.”

  31. Asked to leave West Lodge Park Hotel in London after guests were treated to the sight of a naked Five Bellies swimming across the duck pond.

  32. On his first night in Rome after signing for Lazio, gave his minder the slip, put his shoes by an open window and hid in a cupboard. The minder thought he’d committed suicide.

  33. Recorded a video message for a corporate party and signed off with a cheery “Happy Christmas, you fing wers”.

  34. Greeted reporters in Rome by standing up, asking for silence, then farting at ear-splitting volume.

  35. Told an interviewer that he was so superstitious about the number 13 that he couldn’t ever bear to see the numbers 4 and 9 together. Oddly, the combination of 5 and 8 was deemed OK. 45) Shredded England team-mate Dennis Wise’s Armani suit “for a laugh”.

  36. While staying at a Scottish hotel, drove across its golf course in his four-wheel drive Jeep.

  37. While reputation preceded him in Italy, the English language did not. Hence, his Lazio debut was marked by a banner which read: ‘Gazza’s Boys, We Are Here. Shake Your Women And Drink Your Beer’.

  38. Conversely, rival Italian supporters once hailed him with a banner which stated bluntly: ‘Paul Gazza, You Are Fat Poofta’.

  39. After being sent off while playing for Lazio, shook hands with virtually every member of the Genoa side.

  40. While staying in a New Zealand hotel, was told there was no bacon for breakfast. Replied, “What, all the sheep in this country and there’s no bloody bacon!”

27

Those 50 things are from Gazza’s book and only a few of them are true. He actually tells ya in the book which ones are true, partly true and made up by the papers etc.
Huge difference between Gazza and McGrath too. As said above McGrath is an introvert Gazza the biggest extrovert you could imagine.
I’d say Big Paul is a fair bit more intelligent too.

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I hope the one about him pissing on Richard Gough was true.

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Gazza set to appear on Tubridy Tonight

Former footballer Paul Gascoigne is set to appear on ‘Tubridy Tonight’ this Saturday night.
Gascoigne will be talking to presenter Ryan Tubridy about how he feels about his family’s recent revelations in the Channel 4 documentary ‘Saving Gazza’.

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[quote=“Pikeman”]Gazza set to appear on Tubridy Tonight

Former footballer Paul Gascoigne is set to appear on ‘Tubridy Tonight’ this Saturday night.
Gascoigne will be talking to presenter Ryan Tubridy about how he feels about his family’s recent revelations in the Channel 4 documentary ‘Saving Gazza’.[/QUOTE]

Oh God.

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He was a pundit on Match of the Day last weekend. Gone very thin and doesn’t look well at all. His accent is ridiculous too.

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Thank fuck I’ll be out tomorrow night

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Do you only have one TV station?

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No but I readily admit that if I were at home, I’d almost certainly watch it in a guilty pleasures car crash tv type of way

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On Tubridy Tonight in a minute…could be fun…

36

Watched it there a while ago - there’s a want* in the chap

  • Farmer will explain.
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I thought he came across well on that idiots show. Good to see him seemingly healthy.

38

Not looking good got Gazza again.

Football legend Paul Gascoigne has been ditched from I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here after failing a psychiatric test set by ITV bosses.

He signed a big money deal last month but, after the backlash over Susan Boyle’s meltdown over Britain’s Got Talent, producers decided to pull the plug on Gazza.
It’s the latest blow for the 42-year-old alcoholic who just recently was caught on camera apparently drunk, after months of staying sober.

A source told The Sun: 'It was such a shame considering bosses had been trying to get him on the show for years.
‘However they realised it was just too much of a risk for him to enter the jungle and be under such intense public scrutiny.’
It will be a blow for the former ace, who is continuing to battle alcoholism, as he recently said he ‘couldn’t wait’ to go on the show.

He is now at a low ebb again and , according to tabloid, Gascoigne’s girlfriend Emma Kate Dawson revealed he rang her from Newcastle after a booze binge on Wednesday saying he had a knife and wanted to kill himself.

Passengers on the three-hour train journey between London and Newcastle that day believed he had been drinking due to his inappropriate behaviour.
One commuter Mark Pearson, 37, who saw Gascoigne get on the train at King’s Cross, told The Sun: 'I’ve never seen anyone so drunk.

‘He fell over his own holdall but the man managed to catch him. It took him five minutes to walk 20 yards to hand his ticket to the inspector.’

When the train finally pulled into Newcastle Central station, Gazza’s long-term pal Gardner was waiting for him on the platform.
Gazza and drinking buddy Jimmy “Fivebellies” out on the town in 1998

Gascoigne then swayed onto a nearby bench and spent several minutes composing himself before Gardner walked him to a limousine waiting outside.

It is believed Gazza was returning from London after celebrating his 42nd birthday with new girlfriend, 21, last week.

His behaviour on Wednesday had prompted new fears by friends and family he may be drinking again after previous swearing off alcohol.

Gascoigne has had a well-publicised battle with alcohol, and admitted that he was drinking 30 cans of Special Brew (strong lager) per day in December.
Last year, he was sectioned twice under the Mental Health Act and spent several weeks in rehab.
He admitted this year his heart stopped several times as an effect of his chronic drinking problem.

In a TV interview in March, Gazza claimed he was sober: ‘I just thank Him for today you know, if I don’t drink I just say thanks, thanks for not letting me have a drink today.’
Gazza is currently estranged from his ex-wife Sheryl and children after a brief reconciliation last year.

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Former England star Paul Gascoigne was being quizzed by police today after he was arrested on suspicion of being drunk in charge of a vehicle.

The former Newcastle United and Tottenham Hotspur midfielder was taken into custody on Sunday night after police were called to a disturbance at a takeaway in Leeming Bar, North Yorkshire.

The 42-year-old, who has faced a long battle with alcoholism and depression, and another man were being questioned by officers this morning.

A North Yorkshire Police spokesman said: 'At 9.10pm on Sunday, officers from North Yorkshire Police were called to a disturbance at a takeaway at Leeming Bar.

'Following inquiries, two men, aged 42 and 40, from the Newcastle area, were arrested on suspicion of being drunk while in charge of a motor vehicle.

‘They were taken into custody for questioning and remain there.’

Gascoigne, who was sectioned three times under the Mental Health Act in 2008, has described how when he hit rock bottom he was taking cocaine and drinking a litre of gin a day, which left him delusional and afraid to leave his room.

The former England hero, who played at Newcastle, Spurs, Lazio, Rangers, Middlesbrough and in China, went public about his continuing battle with addiction in March last year.

He told BBC Radio 5 Live’s Victoria Derbyshire he had been clean of drink and drugs for four months, working the 12 Steps Programme and attending Alcoholics Anonymous.

But in December last year, he was handed a fixed penalty notice for being drunk and disorderly after being arrested in Newcastle

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Fuck you Puke, I opened this hoping he was dead.