The forums leading music snob criticising others for their snobbery. Hmmm
[quote=“chewy louie, post: 784991, member: 1137”]“Crawling back like a bird on its belly - delicious”
The Future Stocks episode of futurama is one of the best half hours of comedy you will see[/quote]Agreed. War is the H Word is my favourite, two of the quotes above from it, could nearly quote the whole episode.
Brannigan: This the enemy planet. It’s a miserable, desolate planet with absolutely no resources or strategic value whatsoever.
Soldier: Then why is this planet worth dying for?
Brannigan: Don’t ask me, your the ones that will be dying!
Nixon: So anyway we opened the panda crate and wouldn’t you know it the damn thing’s dead, upchucked it’s bamboo.
Brannigan: Uh huh, uh huh, that’s whatever it is you were talking about for you.
[quote=“glasagusban, post: 784988, member: 1533”]In keeping with my avatar there are rakes of quotes from Futurama, one of the most underappreciated comedies for years, can’t believe it was eclipsed by the likes of Family Guy and the Family Guy knock offs that recycled the same stuff for years.
Zap Brannigan
“If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards… checkmate!”
“Brannigans law is like Brannigans love, hard and fast.”
Fry
“Full price for gum? That dog won’t hunt monsignor.”[/quote]
Zap Brannigan, created for and only for, the great Phil Hartman. 15 years gone from us this last month, you may remember him from Simpsons episodes such as Bart the Mother and A Fish called Selma or the underrated Small Soldiers.
RIP Phil 
“Not only have you managed to sink every battleship and aircraft carrier that you’ve ever sailed on, but now you’ve gone and knackered a gravy boat”
One of the all time greats, Albert Gladstone Trotter
[quote=“myboyblue, post: 784984, member: 180”]The quiz for the apartment between Monica/Rachel and Chandler/Joey is one of the best pieces of comedy TV in the past 20 years, fuck those cunts farmer.
Not a quote, but Slapsgiving from HIMYM is another top notch moment.[/quote]
Not a comedy
'Ere that Sidney Potter is a good actor in’he Rodney?
Sidney Potter?!
Yeah, you know him. Always plays the black fella.
[quote=“farmerinthecity, post: 785060, member: 24”]'Ere that Sidney Potter is a good actor in’he Rodney?
Sidney Potter?!
Yeah, you know him. Always plays the black fella.[/quote]
Poitier, it’s Sidney Poitier…
Slater describing his time in prison.
‘Then there were the showers…’
‘Yeah, I’ve heard that there are lot of bandits in there’.
‘Yeah there are, but luckily they didn’t give me any trouble. I mean these days even the puffs don’t fancy me’.
Rodney, Del Boy, Denzil, Boycey and Trigger discussing Andy Warhol’s theory of being famous for 15 minutes:
Rodney: I think he was talking about modern life where people become famous for a short time and then disappear, like Simon Dee, Rene and Renato etc…
Trigger: Or Gandhi. He made one great film and we never heard of him again…
Someone feel free to post a funny quote in your own time.
None of the quotes posted so far are general comedy quotes. They are all from specific television shows
What am I, doing in there, with a dildo?
She says it’s not hers.
And I, for one, believe her.
Lead the line there please.
[quote=“farmerinthecity, post: 784956, member: 24”]We already have a thread on Classic Simpsons Quotes but this is a thread for quality quotes from other comedies.
This little gem from Friends with the wonderful Hank Azaria (voice of Moe and Wiggum in the Simpsons). He played David, Phoebe’s ex boyfriend. Here he is conceding defeat in the battle for Phoebe’s heart to Mike.
‘Perhaps I hadn’t gone to Minsk, things would have worked out for us. And I wouldn’t have ruined my career, or lost that toe to frostbite. It was a good trip!’[/quote]
well that’s the award for most horrendous start to a thread 2013 wrapped up right there…awful stuff…
[SIZE=4]“Women should be obscene and not heard.”[/SIZE]
Groucho Marx
‘I’m a professional drinker with a writing problem’.
Brendan Behan
The Office, Tim to Gareth:
“Could you give a man a lethal blow?”
To back Farmer up here, Friends is one of the finest TV shows ever made. Went off the boil a bit towards the end but still superb television.
[quote=“briantinnion, post: 785104, member: 6”]The Office, Tim to Gareth:
“Could you give a man a lethal blow?”
To back Farmer up here, Friends is one of the finest TV shows ever made. Went off the boil a bit towards the end but still superb television.[/quote]
Even if that was true, which it’s not, I assume you don’t support his quote selection which lacks any hint of comedic value and even includes a reference to Phoebe who was never involved in any sort of even mildly humorous moments.