Getting a Random Bird Up the Duff

Had a major scare relating to this recently. For a few days I was going to be fathering a child of some bird I had met just once.
It rightly knocked some sense into me though I never sat down and assessed the full committment that would have to be undertaken. Anyone have any experience of this? It’s put me off riding altogether to be quite honest.

FFS Thrawneen never send the general into battle without a helment. Rookie mistake in this day and age. Thank fuck I’ve never had this scare, or not that I know of.

In college one of the lads I knew was ball hopped by his mates into thinknig he had got some bird pregnant (I think Tipptops may have been involved in the ball-hopping). They texted the lad pretending to be some horrible yoke he had met in the lodge a few weeks previous and said she thought she was pregnant. I think they kept it going for a few days before spilling the beans to him.

[quote=“Thrawneen”]Had a major scare relating to this recently. For a few days I was going to be fathering a child of some bird I had met just once.
It rightly knocked some sense into me though I never sat down and assessed the full committment that would have to be undertaken. Anyone have any experience of this? It’s put me off riding altogether to be quite honest.[/QUOTE]

Well i found out a bird had lied to me about being pregnant a few years ago. I was seeing her at the time. It was some sort of cry for attention, but it killed my trust of anything related to this debate. I’ve heard of it happen to others as well. Its a very cuntish thing to do, but women are selfish cunts alot of the time, so i shouldn’t be that surprised.
I was quite ok about it in the sense that i resigned myself to the fact and was just being practical and getting my head straight. I have seen guys completely break down over it though.

Best thing to do is send them for morning after (is affective for a good while after i believe), and keep calm. If its really happening and or too late for pill etc and your going to be a dad, freaking out is no good for anyone, especially the kid.

With a bird you just met it might be time to go to London, there is only the very smallest chance of anything good coming of it really.

How could you have a scare that you didn’t know about?

Around Feb/March last year I had a brush with this. Turned out ok thankfully. Had it not I may have felt the need to disappear off the face of the earth.

[quote=“caoimhaoin”]Well i found out a bird had lied to me about being pregnant a few years ago. I was seeing her at the time. It was some sort of cry for attention, but it killed my trust of anything related to this debate. I’ve heard of it happen to others as well. Its a very cuntish thing to do, but women are selfish cunts alot of the time, so i shouldn’t be that surprised.
I was quite ok about it in the sense that i resigned myself to the fact and was just being practical and getting my head straight. I have seen guys completely break down over it though.

Best thing to do is send them for morning after (is affective for a good while after i believe), and keep calm. If its really happening and or too late for pill etc and your going to be a dad, freaking out is no good for anyone, especially the kid.

With a bird you just met it might be time to go to London, there is only the very smallest chance of anything good coming of it really.[/QUOTE]

How long after?
There was no chance of going to London with this bird. It was happening. What would be involved for a father in such a situation? Pay half of everything until the kid is 18 even if you’ve little involvement in its life?
I’m sure it’s all explained in Knocked Up…

:rolleyes:

condoms are only for pricks…

[quote=“Thrawneen”]How long after?
There was no chance of going to London with this bird. It was happening. What would be involved for a father in such a situation? Pay half of everything until the kid is 18 even if you’ve little involvement in its life?
I’m sure it’s all explained in Knocked Up…[/QUOTE]

As far as I know every 24hrs that passes its effectiveness is halved, so the morning after its 98% and its 49% the next morning or something like that.

know someone who did two birds in the space of a year and did a runner to Boston or somewhere where he is illegal for about last 10 years

wouldn’t agree with the running away at all but as kevin said its a scenario where very little good can come from it.
raising brats is serious business, throw in a random soon to be physcho bird and your life is ruined

[quote=“HBV*”]know someone who did two birds in the space of a year and did a runner to Boston or somewhere where he is illegal for about last 10 years

wouldn’t agree with the running away at all but as kevin said its a scenario where very little good can come from it.
raising brats is serious business, throw in a random soon to be physcho bird and your life is ruined[/QUOTE]

Running away is seriously cowardly.
Would it not be kinda fun to have an offspring that you didn’t actually have to put up with day in and day out?
It’s only the financial side I’d be really concerned about.

[quote=“Thrawneen”]Running away is seriously cowardly.
Would it not be kinda fun to have an offspring that you didn’t actually have to put up with day in and day out?
It’s only the financial side I’d be really concerned about.[/QUOTE]

it would be hard to have a kid and not be involved in its up bringing, thats my opinion and its somewhat based on having a few of these brats myself.

we are all different though but youd need to be a harder bastard than i am to see that scenario as fun

I have done the walk of shame to the family planning clinic a few times. Nothing but high jinks really.

[quote=“Thrawneen”]How long after?
There was no chance of going to London with this bird. It was happening. What would be involved for a father in such a situation? Pay half of everything until the kid is 18 even if you’ve little involvement in its life?
I’m sure it’s all explained in Knocked Up…[/QUOTE]

This is what they say alright, but your 90% ok at 72 hours. From what a doctor tells me they deliberately undercook the time limits to cover themselves. He thinks with a bit of luck you can be good for 4-6 days, but obviously the sooner the better. We do have some strange pub conversations.

And yes, you are half responsible for the kid till he’s 18. Most men (and you seem like the sound type) will man up, and eventually you’ll end up being very much part of the life. But it is very daunting. I’m just glad i lasted this long, cos i don’t believe i’m ready even yet for it. Not that i want to live the single and free life, but i’d like to be stable financially and have my own life set up before all this happens. Its only looking back i realise how not ready i was for all that lark.

[quote=“caoimhaoin”]This is what they say alright, but your 90% ok at 72 hours. From what a doctor tells me they deliberately undercook the time limits to cover themselves. He thinks with a bit of luck you can be good for 4-6 days, but obviously the sooner the better. We do have some strange pub conversations.

And yes, you are half responsible for the kid till he’s 18. Most men (and you seem like the sound type) will man up, and eventually you’ll end up being very much part of the life. But it is very daunting. I’m just glad i lasted this long, cos i don’t believe i’m ready even yet for it. Not that i want to live the single and free life, but i’d like to be stable financially and have my own life set up before all this happens. Its only looking back i realise how not ready i was for all that lark.[/QUOTE]

While I don’t think I’m ready for it I am now accepting of the fact that it could happen the way I’m going and I think one would grow as the scenario unfolded. I’ll be 28 in a few weeks, by the time a kid would be 10 years old I’d be almost 40. That sounds old enough for me. And if it happens it happens and you have to play the hand you’ve been dealt.

How can you ever be sure? I’ve knocked off random birds here and abroad and would have had no way of getting in contact with them or them with me, there could be a littleboyblue out there that I don’t know about. God willing there isn’t mind you.

thinly veiled, I’m getting on now, so better knock some young one up soon.

I want to retire from parental duties by 50 at the latest and start winding down.

[quote=“caoimhaoin”]Well i found out a bird had lied to me about being pregnant a few years ago. I was seeing her at the time. It was some sort of cry for attention, but it killed my trust of anything related to this debate. I’ve heard of it happen to others as well. Its a very cuntish thing to do, but women are selfish cunts alot of the time, so i shouldn’t be that surprised.
I was quite ok about it in the sense that i resigned myself to the fact and was just being practical and getting my head straight. I have seen guys completely break down over it though.

Best thing to do is send them for morning after (is affective for a good while after i believe), and keep calm. If its really happening and or too late for pill etc and your going to be a dad, freaking out is no good for anyone, especially the kid.

With a bird you just met it might be time to go to London, there is only the very smallest chance of anything good coming of it really.[/QUOTE]

:rolleyes:

The new smiley is in no way smug enough