This is one my favourite threads.
Great work Bandage. Cesc4 could be in St. James’ having her fist surgically removed from his arse.
Indeed. Julio’s guide to getting over a lost love on page 20 is a notable highlight.
Cesc is in major bother here with her knowing where he lives. He’s in deep deep shit here.
FURTHER UPDATE : cesc4 and I were down in the pub the Friday before last and we decided that we weren’t going to text tap ins and nor were we going to Copper’s. So there we were in Copper’s around 5 or 6 hours later and cesc4 dropped a bombshell and said, ‘Look I’ve been texting two tap ins on the sly any time you were at the bar or taking a piss so I’m probably going to fook off to bang one of them shortly.’ During the course of the textual back and forth, he discovered that his plump neighbour was on the blob so he went off and rode another wan and told tubby that he was heading back to one of the lads’ houses or something.
That was grand and he was back in his gaff the next evening when tubby text him saying, ‘I’ve been out drinking wine with one of the girls all day and I’m a little bit tipsy - do you want to come over and play?’ Now, cesc4 was sober again at this point and had absolutely no interest whatsoever in seeing this whale so he waited an hour or so and politely replied saying he was wrecked after the night before and wasn’t going out. Straight away, she responded asking, ‘Are you at home?’ It then became apparent that this was entering the stalker territory we had warned him about - he didn’t reply to that text and, a short while later, there was a few loud thumps on the door. He muted his TV, stayed quiet and didn’t answer and next thing his phone, which luckily was on silent, started going off.
Yes, the fat bitch was outside hammering on his door. He said she stood outside, leaving him loads of missed calls and rattling the door for about ten minutes before he heard her sturdy footsteps trudging back down the corridor to her own place. Then he got another text saying something like, ‘So you’re not answering your door or your phone now?’ Bear in mind that this was only around 8pm last Saturday night. cesc4 being the sick cunt that he is wasn’t too deterred by this act of complete stalkerdom and instead decided that he would like to leave the tap in opportunity open so he texted back at around 11pm saying, ‘I must have fallen asleep - only getting your messages now. I’m really in bits from last night and going to bed now etc’.
Then we were down in the pub just this Friday night gone and cesc4 was absolutely hammered and started texting her. The tubby wan was gagging for it and was telling him to get home as quickly as possible. cesc4 had a text exchange that went something like this:
‘I don’t have any condoms.’
cesc4 then slipped quietly away to have the fat girl shove her hand up his hole again. I haven’t heard from him since.
I laughed so much at that a little bit of wee came out.
UPDATE: My good friend cesc4 now has a tap in within the same block of apartments that he lives in. Basically, he bumped into her on the corridor one morning just as he was leaving for work and she said something like, ‘Oh, I guessed a guy lived along here as I get a lovely smell of aftershave every morning.’ Silly bitch. So he had a bit of small talk with her and it was clearly apparent that she was gagging for cock. She mentioned how she lived on her own, found it a bit quiet in the evenings etc so cesc4 took the bull by the horns and suggested they go for a drink some time and they swapped numbers.
He said at the time that he wasn’t sure how ugly she was as he was too close to really get a good look at her but he went ahead and sent her a text a few days later and they went for a drink. It turned out she’s a plump, little 33-year old dog but she invited him in for a drink when they got back from the pub that night and he banged her. We told him it had stalker potential and she started texting him all the time and parking her car beside his in the car park and stuff. She’s text him things like, ‘Are you at home? Can you hear that alarm going off?’
He doesn’t mind for the moment and generally goes on the lash with the lads and texts her for a ride if there’s nothing doing in town. He told us that he was banging her one night recently and she leaned over and got something out of her drawer. Next thing there was splodgy sound and it transpired that she was lubing her hand, arm and elbow up before launching a fist up cesc4’s hole.
FURTHER UPDATE : cesc4 and I were down in the pub the Friday before last and we decided that we weren’t going to text tap ins and nor were we going to Copper’s. So there we were in Copper’s around 5 or 6 hours later and cesc4 dropped a bombshell and said, ‘Look I’ve been texting two tap ins on the sly any time you were at the bar or taking a piss so I’m probably going to fook off to bang one of them shortly.’ During the course of the textual back and forth, he discovered that his plump neighbour was on the blob so he went off and rode another wan and told tubby that he was heading back to one of the lads’ houses or something.
That was grand and he was back in his gaff the next evening when tubby text him saying, ‘I’ve been out drinking wine with one of the girls all day and I’m a little bit tipsy - do you want to come over and play?’ Now, cesc4 was sober again at this point and had absolutely no interest whatsoever in seeing this whale so he waited an hour or so and politely replied saying he was wrecked after the night before and wasn’t going out. Straight away, she responded asking, ‘Are you at home?’ It then became apparent that this was entering the stalker territory we had warned him about - he didn’t reply to that text and, a short while later, there was a few loud thumps on the door. He muted his TV, stayed quiet and didn’t answer and next thing his phone, which luckily was on silent, started going off.
Yes, the fat bitch was outside hammering on his door. He said she stood outside, leaving him loads of missed calls and rattling the door for about ten minutes before he heard her sturdy footsteps trudging back down the corridor to her own place. Then he got another text saying something like, ‘So you’re not answering your door or your phone now?’ Bear in mind that this was only around 8pm last Saturday night. cesc4 being the sick cunt that he is wasn’t too deterred by this act of complete stalkerdom and instead decided that he would like to leave the tap in opportunity open so he texted back at around 11pm saying, ‘I must have fallen asleep - only getting your messages now. I’m really in bits from last night and going to bed now etc’.
Then we were down in the pub just this Friday night gone and cesc4 was absolutely hammered and started texting her. The tubby wan was gagging for it and was telling him to get home as quickly as possible. cesc4 had a text exchange that went something like this:
‘I don’t have any condoms.’
cesc4 then slipped quietly away to have the fat girl shove her hand up his hole again. I haven’t heard from him since.
FURTHER FURTHER UPDATE
Getting back to last night, I slyly got the barman to drop herself and her hugely fat mate a couple of drinks down under the guise of them being bought by cesc4. Next thing, the beast arrived up to us to thank cesc4 for the drink and not a bother on her coming into the group at all. We were giving it the ‘cesc4 has told us so much about you’ and ‘we were all really happy when cesc4 told us he’d found a really nice girl’ and basically embarrassing the fook out of, cesc4, the poor cunt. She probably thought he was genuinely keen on her - anyway, she went back to her mate then after a while and started texting cesc4 and she was absolutely gagging for cock. At one stage, the two of them put on their jackets as if to leave so cesc4 legged it into the jacks to avoid having to speak to her as she was leaving. So I texted him ‘coast is clear’ and he came back out and they were still there and over she came again, asking where he was going later and telling him to give her a text.
She’s basically following him around Dublin now - the dangerous, fat bitch.
FURTHER FURTHER UPDATE
Getting back to last night, I slyly got the barman to drop herself and her hugely fat mate a couple of drinks down under the guise of them being bought by cesc4. Next thing, the beast arrived up to us to thank cesc4 for the drink and not a bother on her coming into the group at all. We were giving it the ‘cesc4 has told us so much about you’ and ‘we were all really happy when cesc4 told us he’d found a really nice girl’ and basically embarrassing the fook out of, cesc4, the poor cunt. She probably thought he was genuinely keen on her - anyway, she went back to her mate then after a while and started texting cesc4 and she was absolutely gagging for cock. At one stage, the two of them put on their jackets as if to leave so cesc4 legged it into the jacks to avoid having to speak to her as she was leaving. So I texted him ‘coast is clear’ and he came back out and they were still there and over she came again, asking where he was going later and telling him to give her a text.
She’s basically following him around Dublin now - the dangerous, fat bitch.
soooooooooooooooo-perb
FURTHER FURTHER UPDATE
Getting back to last night, I slyly got the barman to drop herself and her hugely fat mate a couple of drinks down under the guise of them being bought by cesc4. Next thing, the beast arrived up to us to thank cesc4 for the drink and not a bother on her coming into the group at all. We were giving it the ‘cesc4 has told us so much about you’ and ‘we were all really happy when cesc4 told us he’d found a really nice girl’ and basically embarrassing the fook out of, cesc4, the poor cunt. She probably thought he was genuinely keen on her - anyway, she went back to her mate then after a while and started texting cesc4 and she was absolutely gagging for cock. At one stage, the two of them put on their jackets as if to leave so cesc4 legged it into the jacks to avoid having to speak to her as she was leaving. So I texted him ‘coast is clear’ and he came back out and they were still there and over she came again, asking where he was going later and telling him to give her a text.
She’s basically following him around Dublin now - the dangerous, fat bitch.
Best thread on the internet…
I love seeing this thread bumped up.
Is she any use at all Bandage - despite her being an absolute nutter of course?
Amongst the handful of posters still online, any golden lines on the letting a co-worker down easy front?
I don’t understand the question
What dont you understand?
What does “down easy front” mean?
Actually I get it now :lol:
I missed"the" in “the letting down easy front”
Jilting her in a fashion that will not yield long term negative consequences
:lol: