Girls

Fire away Clarkey. This happened at a wedding I attended many moons ago. Nothing remotely wrong with it but there was some banter the following day over it.

The next morning my granny asked me “if I got fixed up last night”. I couldn’t look her in the eye. My extended family then took the absolute piss out of me.

So your aunt married your uncle?

No need to get snotty, Totti.

I think there’s another question that needs answering. Did your granny get fixed up herself, Clarkey?

Sorry Clarkey, I think it was wrong of your aunt to interfere in your romantic dealings seeing as she set the current precedent.

The line is a dot to you.

Ah sure not too bad Cat, yourself? That really is another bizarre incident. Those parents sound like old stock! I don’t know much but I know a wise man once told me “variety is the spice of life” and it’s hard to disagree with that. I still think Bandage’s tactic of hanging around at the ladies shitter in Coppers is the best one yet.

thinly veiled " i blew link walshe at our uncles wedding" post by piles

Bandage knew the score all along

A new survey has revealed that bigger and curvier women are likely to have more fun in the bedroom, and we’re not talking about bouncing on the bed or having major pillow fights.
According to a survey carried out by casual dating website Local Sin, women with larger dress sizes are more active and more adventurous in the sack and, tellingly, more likely to go the whole way at the first time of asking.
The website, which carries the tagline ‘Mapping a naughty world’, polled nearly 1,000 of its single female members and found that the sex lives of chunkier women are far steamier than those of their skinnier counterparts.
The survey found that over 80 per cent of women with a dress size of 16 or over describe themselves as adventurous compared to less than 30 per cent of women with a dress size of eight or lower, while over 60 per cent of larger women would have no bones about dressing up in the bedroom, as opposed to 22 per cent of skinnier women who are probably conscious about putting their all too evident bones on display.
When it comes to making the first move the margin is much tighter, with the percentage of large and skinny women who regularly instigate sex with their other half coming it at just under 50 per cent, but crucially, bigger girls come out on top in this regard.
“It’s clear from our findings that larger women appear to be larger than life in the bedroom,” said a spokesman for the website.
The benefits of having sex with larger women have long been speculated, with quotes like ‘more cushion for pushin’ and such, but now we know it’s official: big women are better in the bed.
Men of Ireland and beyond, next time you’re on the pull, you know where to look.

Big girls try harder

hmmm. survey of dating website of its own members find that big girls have to try do more to impress in the bedroom. big shock there.

I still prefer slim birds.

How slim??

Anything lower than a size ten is skin and bone. 10-12 is about right .

Agreed.

Size 9-11, lads.

12’s can carry too much jelly.

Beyonce was right about you.

She wouldn’t be the first famous female musician to be smitten with me.

She wouldn’t be, you’re right.

There’s an orderly queue which Cara Dillon fronts.