[QUOTE=“caoimhaoin, post: 1067184, member: 273”]Btw, one person working 10-20 hours and the other working 40 is not what I’m talking about. I would consider that balanced.
someone bringing in main wage
2nd person adding to it with a bit in the side, which also doubles up as their own time and maintains a sort of working life
spends most of the rest of the time with kids
can maybe take in more as they age
ideally help of grand parents helps, but certainly, as said here, a couple of days crèche is no harm either for socialization
spend at least one whole day of weekend completely together
I’d say that’s very do-able, cost effective and most importantly healthy.[/QUOTE]
I love your attempts to sound reasonable. Of course that’s a fine setup but it’s not exclusive. Having two parents working full time is also perfectly healthy and cost effective etc. My wife is fortunate enough to work somewhere that facilitated part time working. For some jobs and some families that’s not feasible for all sorts of reasons, some financial, others related to personal ambitions. Maybe instead of being gracious enough to tolerate some levels of two income families you might instead just accept that your concepts of ideals are outdated and old fashioned and based on nothing other than your own whims.
[QUOTE=“caoimhaoin, post: 1067076, member: 273”]extremely disingenuous. The old days were shit cos there was paedos.
What a wanker you are.[/QUOTE]
I think you missed the point. I was responding to a post talking about how great the 80s were because of free summer camps and a more liberal attitude to child supervision. That was all well and good and preferable in an ideal world but we didn’t live in an ideal world and still don’t and holding up the changes in child protection protocols as a negative is curious and misguided.
[QUOTE=“Rocko, post: 1067192, member: 1”]I love your attempts to sound reasonable. Of course that’s a fine setup but it’s not exclusive. Having two parents working full time is also perfectly healthy and cost effective etc. My wife is fortunate enough to work somewhere that facilitated part time working. For some jobs and some families that’s not feasible for all sorts of reasons, some financial, others related to personal ambitions. Maybe instead of being gracious enough to tolerate some levels of two income families you might instead just accept that your concepts of ideals are outdated and old fashioned and based on nothing other than your own whims.[/QUOTE]
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=“caoimhaoin, post: 1067180, member: 273”]There are studies out there that show this. But there are more out there thy show child development can be very reliant on time spent with parents.
However on a purely emotional level you don’t need any study to know that the more time you are with your child, or anyone generally, the closer you become. Now this security and comfort has to help a child develop and build confidence etc. if Au Pairs etc are in the mix it creates confusion of sorts.
I have no problem with au pairs per say, but they existed really for diplomats or oil workers etc. I heard over Christmas a number of times “I have the kids on my own, the au pair has gone home”. That to me is kinda fucked.
And it’s not just the well to do either. I never asked the cost, but an au pair for say 20 hours a week must be expensive. What’s the point in working to just hand most of it over to someone else to mind your kid?[/QUOTE]
The reason you have heard so much about au pairs this Christmas is because having an au pair is one of the cheapest forms of childcare available at this time. I don’t know the exact figures but because they get accommodation, food, use of cars ( in some cases), their rate of pay is really quite low- it sporadically makes the news here as cases of exploitation come to light.
People also see them as a good option because it means they are not dragging their children out of bed at unholy hours to get to crèches and they are being taken care of in their own homes.
Plus they get the use out of all those extra bedrooms!!!
Or maybe you are just trying to justify your own selfishness.
Believe me, my way of looking at life is growing, not dying. There are many many like minded people.
No you used paedophilia as a stick to batter the past, and the like of myself and scumpots memories, to make yourself feel better and support your own modern selfishness.
just to keep you in the real world for a second , i never said the 80’s were great…also i think you bringing in child protection protocols is quite braindead and totally missing the point… it was quite obvious I was talking about society and how its changed…
[QUOTE=“caoimhaoin, post: 1067199, member: 273”]Or maybe you are just trying to justify your own selfishness.
Believe me, my way of looking at life is growing, not dying. There are many many like minded people.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=“caoimhaoin, post: 1067184, member: 273”]Btw, one person working 10-20 hours and the other working 40 is not what I’m talking about. I would consider that balanced.
someone bringing in main wage
2nd person adding to it with a bit in the side, which also doubles up as their own time and maintains a sort of working life
spends most of the rest of the time with kids
can maybe take in more as they age
ideally help of grand parents helps, but certainly, as said here, a couple of days crèche is no harm either for socialization
spend at least one whole day of weekend completely together
I’d say that’s very do-able, cost effective and most importantly healthy.[/QUOTE]
ah kev, your just WUMMING now in fairness
how many jobs these days can be taken with the approach " a bit on the side"? WTF is that?, its ok if one of you is the local odd job man but today’s economy dosent really cater for such luxuries
aside from the fact that it is virtually impossible to raise one kid, let alone 2, pay a mortgage,etc on only one income ( we are testament to it and are only back since september), more often than not you will find the individual also needs to value themselves, they cannot just one day have a career and then be transformed to stay at home parent who will dabble in odd job activities.
look it depends what people need in life, i cant lock my wife into the gaff with him from 7am - 5pm and tell her to help out at the local parish pump if she wants to feel a bit of self worth outside of being a mother and wife
either you’re wumming ( i presume you are) with most of the above or the poor bitch youre about get up the pole is in for some land
He did say his wife worked parttime yes? So that sounds like they are conforming to Caoimhaoin’s template.
Maybe he’s selfish because he’s advocating tolerance of others’ arrangements?
[quote=“mickee321, post: 1067209”]more often than not you will find the individual also needs to value themselves, they cannot just one day have a career and then be transformed to stay at home parent who will dabble in odd job activities.
look it depends what people need in life, i cant lock my wife into the gaff with him from 7am - 5pm and tell her to help out at the local parish pump if she wants to feel a bit of self worth outside of being a mother and wife[/quote]
It’s crazy that you would have to point such a thing out, particularly to someone like @caoimhaoin who prides himself on being an expert on the human psyche.
The amount of lads on here who end up agreeing with 80-90% of what I say is very funny. They go ballistic about the 10%.[/QUOTE]
And that’s why you are a legend around here.
[QUOTE=“mickee321, post: 1067209, member: 367”]ah kev, your just WUMMING now in fairness
how many jobs these days can be taken with the approach " a bit on the side"? WTF is that?, its ok if one of you is the local odd job man but today’s economy dosent really cater for such luxuries
aside from the fact that it is virtually impossible to raise one kid, let alone 2, pay a mortgage,etc on only one income ( we are testament to it and are only back since september), more often than not you will find the individual also needs to value themselves, they cannot just one day have a career and then be transformed to stay at home parent who will dabble in odd job activities.
look it depends what people need in life, i cant lock my wife into the gaff with him from 7am - 5pm and tell her to help out at the local parish pump if she wants to feel a bit of self worth outside of being a mother and wife
either you’re wumming ( i presume you are) with most of the above or the poor bitch youre about get up the pole is in for some land[/QUOTE]
That’s the most reasoned post I ever recall you putting up here.
Do you not understand that society changed as a direct result of child abuse? That’s why a teacher doesn’t bring a pupil away in his own car anymore. FFS sake, you shouldn’t really need that explained.
[QUOTE=“caoimhaoin, post: 1067199, member: 273”]Or maybe you are just trying to justify your own selfishness.
Believe me, my way of looking at life is growing, not dying. There are many many like minded people.[/QUOTE]
That’s terrific. Explain why I’m selfish.
No, I also find the whole thing rather grotesque and barbaric. I think people who value sex so highly are devoid of a moral compass and their lives lacks true emotion.
this is just bizarre …you are trying to explain my point to me!!.. you need to relax pal…you’ve totally missed the point i made…you seem to be seething because i made shit of your not a lifestyle theory in an earlier post and are now all gung ho to show me what’s what… :rolleyes:
