Guards are very topical at the moment so I thought I would share a little anecdote of what happened to me this morning.
So I was driving to work this morning. Traffic was very heavy. I was turning left about 50 yards up to way so I decided to go into the bus lane which was on my left. I had just moved in when a cop jumped out of the passenger door of an unmarked car up the way. He flagged me down and asked me to pull in.
At this stage I am thinking of what I am going to say. I was going to go with a âok fair cop but I was only turning left in a couple of seconds anywayâ. As I put down the window on the driverâs side the cop says âYou can utter as many curses as you want I am still going to do youâ. The rest of the conversation went something like this:
Cop: What were you doing driving in the bus lane?
Me: I was only turning left there [pointing at the junction]
Cop: Thatâs what everyone says. Fact is that you are still in the bus lane. In fact I should be doing you for dangerous driving.
Me: How?
Cop: You are not aware where bus lanes are. What if a person was in that bus lane and you illegally drove into one and killed him?
Me: Ok mate (didnât say this deliberately â force of habit).
Cop: Listen, less of the attitude. Also donât call me âmateâ. Iâm not your mate. Call me guard.
Me: I am not calling you Guard. Why should I? Youâre not better than me.
Cop: That attitude again! Walks towards the front of the car and checks the insurance, tax and NCT which were all in order. You have to drop your insurance policy into your local Guard station â which one do you nominate?
[Checking the tyres at this stage]
Me: Why do I have to drop in my insurance policy? You can see everything is order with my disc.
Cop: Itâs called the Rules of the Road. You really shouldnât be driving if youâre not familiar with them.
Me: What rule is it mate (again didnât say this deliberately â force of habit)?
Cop: I said call me guard!! Ok step out of the vehicle sir.
Me: What?
Cop: STEP OUT OF THE VEHICLE SIR!
[I step out]
Cop: If you continue with this attitude, I am going to have to arrest you for public order offence.
[At this stage I decided to shut the fuck up (not that I was saying much in the first place anyway)]
Cop: Now. That has settled you down. Look youâre only a young lad, I can see from your driverâs licence (he was max 10 years older than me). I have no points on my licence, I always drive within the law. I am only trying to help you here, showing you some rules of the road and you start having an attitude with me.
[This is the most bizarre bit]
Cop: Now go to (the nominated guard station) when you get a chance and Iâll see what Iâll do with this (referencing the ticket).
[He walked off]
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Guards are sound, especially that guard referenced above.
Not sure what the problem is here, you were in the wrong and you called him mate twice. We all joke about here with mate and pal to illicit a response but I think if I was in a public service position and some fella starting calling me âmateâ Iâd do well not to take the hump.
dont know either what your issue was with calling him âGuardâ but perhaps thats just me. All in all you got off with a warning so I really canât see what the issue is. That fella actually seems sound out.
If Farmer had dropped the attitude and the condescending mate stuff he would have been fine. I think he should count his blessing that he was so lenient on him.
Who the fuck calls anyone mate? Aside from a term of affection on internet message boards and Tan cunts
I am not making any judgements lads. Just interested to know how people view the situation.
When he finally realised it was farmer classing him as a mate he backed off. A decent sort.
Anyone hear about the heavy gang going armed to an airfield in Kildare last week to stop a plane that had been chartered? Apparently the plane was hired to fly over the paddys day celebrations with a banner asking for a vote on a United Ireland. The free state police force are still Political and still rotten.
[QUOTE=âmyboyblue, post: 921424, member: 180â]Not sure what the problem is here, you were in the wrong and you called him mate twice. We all joke about here with mate and pal to illicit a response but I think if I was in a public service position and some fella starting calling me âmateâ Iâd do well not to take the hump.
dont know either what your issue was with calling him âGuardâ but perhaps thats just me. All in all you got off with a warning so I really canât see what the issue is. That fella actually seems sound out.[/QUOTE]
I would very much doubt that I got off given his earlier behaviour. I donât know what he meant by that last line.
Me: I am not calling you Guard. Why should I? Youâre not better than me.
That is where this interaction went wrong.
In that situation they hold all the cards so you just nod and say âYes Guard. No Guard. I could swear I wasnât doing that Guard Nameâ - implication is you will swear that in evidence if pushed. If you want to be cheeky ask for his name and number - that spooks them slightly but for a road traffic stop you are just inconveniencing yourself.
No offence, mate but you often have a very prickly online persona. If that reflects real life, I would say you talked yourself into a ticket there.
Me three weeks ago. Driving down the Rock Road talking on the phone (I rarely to never do this and deserved to be punished). Get pulled over by garda who was parked on his bike.
Garda: Were you on your mobile there?
Me: I was guard.
Garda: You know youâre not allowed do that?
Me: Yes guard-hold my hands up here.
Garda: Do you have any points on your licence?
Me: No guard.
Garda (throwing his eyes to heaven): Go on so. Cop onto yourself though or youâll kill someone.
Me: Thanks guard.
The system works.
Whatâs everbodies stance on calling someone âkidâ ? I constantly do itâŚGuard, cab driver, my mother⌠Well kidâŚ
[QUOTE=âHorsebox, post: 921435, member: 1537â]No offence, mate but you often have a very prickly online persona. If that reflects real life, I would say you talked yourself into a ticket there.
Me three weeks ago. Driving down the Rock Road talking on the phone (I rarely to never do this and deserved to be punished). Get pulled over by garda who was parked on his bike.
Garda: Were you on your mobile there?
Me: I was guard.
Garda: You know youâre not allowed do that?
Me: Yes guard-hold my hands up here.
Garda: Do you have any points on your licence?
Me: No guard.
Garda (throwing his eyes to heaven): Go on so. Cop onto yourself though or youâll kill someone.
Me: Thanks guard.
The system works.[/QUOTE]
Two legends 
Iâd think if he was going to do you, heâd have done you there and then. However the mate thing might rankle with him a bit afterwards and he could change his mind. Drop in the insurance info ASAP (which I agree always baffled me and seemed to just be a way of giving you a rap on the knuckles) and Iâd think youâll be grand.
Outside Limerick it strikes me as awful cuntish behavior, but it does seen prevalent down there.
[QUOTE=âTheUlteriorMotive, post: 921434, member: 2272â]Me: I am not calling you Guard. Why should I? Youâre not better than me.
That is where this interaction went wrong.
In that situation they hold all the cards so you just nod and say âYes Guard. No Guard. I could swear I wasnât doing that Guard Nameâ - implication is you will swear that in evidence if pushed. If you want to be cheeky ask for his name and number - that spooks them slightly but for a road traffic stop you are just inconveniencing yourself.[/QUOTE]
This guy sums up my attitude at the time. It is about a judge but a cop works equally as well.
I says âYou canât do a god damn thing about it, because Iâm expressing myself in your court, and there is nothing you can do about it. You think youâre god because you have a robe and you can put people up the goddamn river for 20 years? Well youâre not.â
FAO of Dublin motorists:
I have an appointment in Dundrum tomorrow morning at 8.30am. What time will I need to leave south city centre to ensure an on time arrival if travelling by taxi? Bear in mind motorists like @farmerinthecity may be blocking the bus lane.
[QUOTE=âBandage, post: 921443, member: 9â]FAO of Dublin motorists:
I have an appointment in Dundrum tomorrow morning at 8.30am. What time will I need to leave south city centre to ensure an on time arrival if travelling by taxi? Bear in mind motorists like @farmerinthecity may be blocking the bus lane.[/QUOTE]
Are you still learning to drive, mate?
Itâs a real Limerick one. I do it all the time without even thinking. Pure force of habit.
Nothing wrong with it at all.
Passed the theory test (39/40). Did the eye test. Went to the new NDLS Centre in Wexford with completed forms and required sign offs. Got my learner permit in the post around 3 weeks later at the end of February. Tentative plans to commence driving lessons in early-mid April.
:lol: