Guards - Cunts or Not

Thatā€™s fine detective work.

Can you do a pull-up.

A friend of mine back in the day failed it.

He was an awful heavy lad. Got in the shape of his life (still fairly overweight), lost a good stone or more and passed it second time round.

Kept the fitness going after getting in but did his cruciate playing hurling and the weight has piled on in the last 10-15 years since (he did the other cruciate a few years ago). Heā€™s as wide as bungalow.

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I passed a Garda car this morning and the bean garda driver was on her phone

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How do these goalkeepers keep picking up injuries?

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Guards on duty are exempt from that rule. They are permitted to use their phones when driving. Also think the army are as well

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A Garda. Feckā€™s sake!

thats because their radio equipment is so piss poor that they rely on the mobile for comms

Correct.

Correct

Just like the Russian army in Ukraine

Some horrible body shaming on display here and itā€™s a bad state of affairs when itā€™s me calling it out.

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Settle down tubbycheeks.

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Like many a camogie goalkeeper before her she might be the most mobile but she has good hands.

As in sheā€™d hould a 14ā€ pizza in each paw while atinā€™ them simultaneously.
With the Diet Coke balanced in the crook of her elbow.

There is a guard down at home and he must be over 20 stone.

@anon67715551 - I believe he is now stationed around your neck of the woods. Heā€™s even worse than the counsellor.

How is he at apprehending fleeing suspects?

If they were women, he would find a burst of pace from somewhere.

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The first five yards is in the head, heā€™d position himself smartly

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As the auld full back replied ā€œHe might beat me from A to Bā€¦ but I wouldnā€™t be starting at Aā€

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