Gym etiquette

I joined a gym yesterday and took part in a workout session but as it is has been some time since i was in a gym and one or two issues arose, i was wondering what passes for etiquette in gyms nowadays.

After i had togged out in my Sheffield Wednesday jersey, toggs and football socks i proceeded from the dressing rooms to the gym area to get to work. I couldn’t wait to get going and being too excited to stretch i commenced my session immediately. I started off with the treadmill and a 2 minute sprint, then toned it down to a 3 minute stroll, turned it up a notch with a brisk 10 minute power-walk, and finally upped it again with an impressive 5 minutes of jogging. The sweat was flying off me towards the finish and i deposited buckets of sweat around the handles and screen of the treadmill. Thirsty i made my way to the cooler and took on board some fluids. Shortly afterwards i noticed a gym worker move to the machine i had vacated with a roll of toilet paper and clean up the mess i had left. Is this usual procedure?

Now it was time to work my abs and flex my guns. Again, i wasted no time and began immediately. I pumped iron until my arms were too weak and sore to pump anymore. The gym was quiet enough but there was one old timer working out lifting weights and he was doing awful groaning and shrieking as he did it.

After my superb session which lasted about 30mins i was exhausted and needed to use the swimming pool facilities. There were signs everywhere saying swimming caps were compulsory and i was soon asked to leave the pool. I made my way to the sauna. There was one other punter in the sauna and he said hello to me as i entered. I nodded my head to him. He seemed eager or obliged to start a chat with me but i was having none of it. I have no interest in small talk and even less interest in small talk with old fellas wearing tiny speedos in a sauna looking for converstaion with strangers. We were in there for the guts of ten minutes in silence but i was about to pass out with the heat and had to leave. Is it bad gym etiquette not to chat with others in the sauna?

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Anyone else and I’d think this thread was a piss take :lol:

good stuff mate

firstly the decision to wear an owls top is a winner good choice

secondly, your the customer mate, let the workers clean your sweat if needs be

i wouldnt talk to anyone in the sauna apart from making my standard “jeez ,its like a sauna in here” on each sauna visit

Quality post. :clap:

Outstanding Dunph, any Polish women about? How was the body afterwards? Will you go again?

Young wans, and young wans only should be engaged in saunas or anything of its elk…

The only thing I would change, and contrary to Tase’s advice, is your rig out. I hate that whole jersey, shorts and matching football socks combo. It really screams rural punter. I personally go with a sleeveless sports number/ vest so both I and others can see the guns at work.

If you really did just “pump iron” until you could lift no more then I’d imagine you are going to be very very sore tomorrow!

I’ll be going regularly from here on in, every two weeks. It was tough going, it was a strenous full body workout so i’ll need to rest between sessions. There were no Polish women about unfortunately, or no women at all that i could attack with my charm offensive. It was just me, my guns, the old timer squealing, a late 30ish fat woman walking moderately on the treadmill (whilst on the mobile), a capped elderly woman in the pool, and the punter with the speedos in the sauna.

Anyone who doesn’t wear a soccer or gaa jersey, toggs and football socks to the gym can only be considered a gay, i’m sorry.

Ace post mate. :clap: Like the way you didn’t upset the union by crossing demarcation lines in the workplace by wiping up your own sweat. The country is fcuked enough without putting sweat cleaner uppers out of a job.

PS Tell Speedo boy to join a flower pressing club or something.

i agree with that mate but the owl & the hoops are the exception

Dunph, did you wear your socks soccer style pulled up to the knee or GAA style with sock pulled down?

Me personally I would never wear any sort of soccer or GAA jersey to the gym, nor would I wear sleeveless vest, thats just a bit too gay. Simple shorts and t-shirt are what ya need in the gym.

In the words of the immortal Buddy Love, spandex.

Socks down, tazdedub.

Thank fuck for that. Nothing worse than some knobend walking around the gym with his football socks pulled up to his knees. :angry:

The worst of all is lads sitting in front of big mirrors doing weights and then grunting away looking at themselves trying to curl the biggest set of weights on the rack and only managing to do no more then 5, they then get up and walk a lap around the gym, chest out, looking around to see if anyone has noticed them, before sitting down to destroy themselves doing another 5.

The worst I’ve ever seen was a weedy little dweeb, real nerdy guy belting away on the exercise bike at the lowest resistence going 90 miles a fucking hour. He looks demented. Turn up the resistence and pedal away like a normal human being you fucktard.

Sounds a lot like spinning to me SS, wasnt there a Lomerick based poster here who was a fan of spinning?


I’d say your fan of it yourself, while your looking at your twitter

Whatever about the posing TRE, this is called Max strength Training. Only being able to do 5 is what they are aiming for. Agree though fellas should be a bit more discreet about it.