Four Man Bob Slay
Bob Geldof, Bobby Aylward TD, Cork GAA administration’s Bob Ryan and @anon61956325 have three weeks to learn how to drive a bobsleigh before forming Ireland’s first ever four man team in the Winter Olympics.
Can these novices learn this notoriously difficult sport in such a short time or will it end in disaster?
From who did you rob that concept ?
You won’t believe how close this is to an actual production.
Kevin McStay’s GAA Hot Zone (on the green button on RTE 2)
Each championship Sunday, we go on a wild ride around the grounds as every single score from every single game is flashed up in succession, as they happen. From Castlebar to Carlow, from Cork to Clones, we’ve got it covered.
Be in the zone. Be in the Hot Zone.
Presented by and commentated on by Kevin McStay.
It almost sounds like the Sunday Game highlights package, but with highlights.
Brexit Deadline Day on Sky Sports News
March 29th, 2019
Join Jim White and Natalie Sawyer for a thrilling evening’s entertainment as the window of the United Kingdom’s membership of the European Union SLAMS shut at 11pm.
Sky reporters will be strategically placed around the United Kingdom - Bryan Swanson at Brexit central in Stoke, Andy Burton at Hadrian’s Wall, and other reporters whose names I have forgotten placed at other key locations such as the Irish border, Dover, Gatwick Airport etc.
Each will be accompanied by dozens of delirious Brexit supporters throwing footballs at the back our reporters’ heads, and waving giant inflatable dildos and/or miniature union jacks.
The studio will be bedecked in the themed colours of red, white and blue for the evening.
Meanwhile, our famed “Sky sources” will be on hand all evening to bring us all the gossip, all the deals (or No Deal) as frantic last minute efforts to cancel Article 50, extend Article 50, or go for a last minute Norway deal take place.
Sky’s patented “plane tracker” (in association with FlightRadar24) will be used to keep track of various desperate last-minute dashes between London and Brussels by Theresa May, Jeremy Hunt, Philip Hammond and EU officials as the deadline looms.
Harry Redknapp will be on hand for a ceremonial rolling down of his car window to give us his view on Brexit (“get on with it!”).
You’re one of a kind, Sid.
Denny’s Gah League Sunday
Des Cahill presents live studio coverage of the day’s league action joined in studio by Jimmy Sloyane, John Mullane, Graham Geraghty, Charlie Redmond and Henry Sefflin.
Brilliant
Learn Gah with the Greatest
In this comprehensive new Gaelic football coaching series, nine times All-Ireland medallist Michael Darragh McAuley goes around Ireland teaching children the skills of the game
In episode 1, the greatest midfielder of all time goes to Portlaoise to teach local kids the art of the camouflaged goose step
In episode 2, the focus is on strength and conditioning - the all time legend demonstrates how he has developed a physique of pure muscle by doing weight training using a box containing his Leinster and All-Ireland medals
In episode 3, the art of handpass - the striking hand should always be above the hand teeing up the ball
Inspired by Fintan O’Toole’s column in Saturday’s IT
“Brexit Does Dallas”
A glamorous soap opera featuring the trials and tribulations of the EUing family
In the climax of season 1, Bobby EUing is killed in a referendum
Then, at the beginning of season 5, Pam EUing abolishes Article 50 and Bobby comes back from the dead
We find out that the whole previous three and a bit years had been Pam EUing’s dream
Then, in the Halloween episode of season 5, the twist
We find out that the waking up from the dream was itself a dream
Cast:
Jo Swinson as Pam EUing
The EU as Bobby EUing
Nigel Farage as JR EUing
Boris Johnson as Kristin
Dominic Cummings as Sue Ellen EUing
David Cameron as Cliff Barnes
Jeremy Corbyn as Clayton Farlow
Anna Soubry as Miss Ellie EUing
Ken Clarke as Jock EUing
Dominic Raab as Ray Krebbs
Jennifer Arcuri as the Poison Dwarf
Ivan Rogers as Deep Throat
WAGStars
Anna Geary follows 6 wives/girlfriends of the biggest GAA Stars in the country as they lead up to the big All Star banquet. Watch as the habitual attendees help out the first time nominee WAGs pick out the finest gowns for the big night, and listen to the heartbreaking Tales of missed 21st’s and ruined Debs as they give it all up for the men and the game they love.
Roy Curtis’s Dublin
with Roy Curtis
Dublin’s incomparable modern bard brings us on a magical journey around his city, taking in all the sights and sounds, the landmarks, and the places lesser known to lesser mortals - the nooks, the crannies, and the people - the oul’ fellas, the grannies.
The tour is conducted through the medium of Roy’s poetry - From Drumcondra to Dundrum, from Clondalkin to Croker, from the Royal Canal to the Royal Hospital, from James Joyce to Jim Gavin, from Brendan Behan to Bernard Brogan, from Molly Malone to Michael Darragh McAuley, from Sinead O’Connor to Sinead Aherne, Roy has a verse in him that will do justice to anything, as long as it’s Dublin.
Come on this magical mystery tour, this one man show, and see a city live, and laugh, and cry.
Dublin is Roy Curtis and Roy Curtis is Dublin.
Friends Ireland
A new sitcom for RTE, written by Stefanie Preissner. Set in 2035, amidst the backdrop of 15 straight years of Fine Gael/Fianna Fail coalition government. Six fiftysomething singletons left behind by the long running housing crisis share a three bedroom semi in a Mulhuddart housing estate.
Rossa is a Blackrock boy priced out of the area he grew up in despite working as an accountant. He’s a huge rugby fan and has an on/off romance with Rachael, who is also a big rugby fan from Blackrock who has been priced out of living in the area she grew up in despite being a corporate lawyer.
Maire is from Cork and is a writer working on her book “Torva Venia”, which is nearing completion after 26 years. She loves the hurling.
Joe is a plumber originally from Fairview and a huge Dubs fan. Himself and Maire have endless banter about which is “the real capital”.
Polina is Russian and working in Connolly Memorial Hospital, which has recently been the subject of a €1bn expansion to fit one more bed. Despite speaking no English, the rest of the gang can understand her better than Cathal, who comes from the arsehole of Galway and spends his days on the internet moaning about the gays, the disabled, Travellers and “spongers”, basically anybody he can think of. Cathal is a huge fan of the FFG coalition and will fight to the death anybody who criticises it.
Rossa, Rachael, Maire, Joe and Polina all get on great and have craic aplenty but they endlessly take the piss out of poor Cathal, and as the series unfolds Cathal gets more and more wound up before finally his dam of frustration explodes in the series finale.
How will it all end?
Starring:
Ryle Nugent as Rossa
Lucy Kennedy as Rachael
Mary Hannigan as Maire
Jim Gavin as Joe
Yer one from the second series of Alan Partridge as Polina
John Connors as Cathal
In a sequel to this, the HSE solves the all-important capacity problem by rounding up every stray or abandoned dog in the country and training to them to carry out Coronavirus testing. Ireland tests a million people in a week and everybody is back in the pubs by Good Friday. The army of dogs become national heroes on a par with the 1916 revolutionaries.
Dogtor’s
I am now imagining the theme music of the TV soap opera “Doctors” with strategically placed barking to indicate a dog focus.
Sorry I barked but time was of the essence
Dogtor Barkley will have to be the main character.
The series could be set in Madrid, focussing on testing of all the infected Atleti Woof! supporters.