Fuck off out of this thread with your melancolic philosophising. The sun’s out, i’ve just run 8 k and i’ve a whopper bowl of fruit and yoghurt here.
they were eyeing me up in the pub and grabbed me outside the front door, i got savage paranoid this morning thinking they were trying to stitch me up, i prefer auld ones myself, around 40
Ah, the slow-burner. God bless 'em…
I like women over thirty
A bit thicker round the middle and fuller in the bust
They are much more likely to be dirty
And will pretty much do anything when overcome with lust
There’s something to be said for the gamier type of bird
They like a bit of stuffing and a spit roast’s not unheard of
So forget the young, untutored and the frankly immature
And why not give their Mum a call!
Sitting in traffic and Marty Whelan just played the James Bond theme tune… 
signing back in, was at a wedding last night and DJ played “sweet caroline”, you really appreciate booming tunes like this that you usually just dont have at weddings out here, especially mizrachim weddings , last night it was an english lad i know getting married to a yemeni girl, her side of the house got some shock id say
[QUOTE=“Kinvara’s Passion, post: 918681, member: 686”]Touching hands!
What time would that gig have finished up @mickee321 ?[/QUOTE]
showtime was 9pm with the “chuppa” that is the wedding cermony, this was a reform cermony as yer man isnt jewish so its like what we did, you just construct your own cermony and find a humanist or someone to do it, they did a great job on Tuesday night actually, we did the same where the actual legalities are done in ireland and then in israel we had a cermony but their is no religous or legal meaning , civil mariage is not yet permitted in here. you can add in your own music and all. old people can walk out of this this as they dont like the carry on.
The food is then served in courses between various bouts of music starting around 10 until about 12, then music and what not till 2 or 3, it was a school night tho so most people are leaving around 1 ish… jesus i was in some form driving home after the drink, the talent at this was incredible , i always get a right laugh off the still single birds who are older than the bride and they sitting there seething throughout the proceedings
They are always a good laugh alright. One of my wifes single friends called to the house last week, fierce upset.
I usually belt off when this particular one arrives as I cant cannot abide the gold digging cunt. However I was in the middle of making a batch of bottles so I hung around to get the gist of what had her upset this time. So the conversation kicked off about trying to meet someone and how she had met a great guy but he turned out to be a complete a$$h0le. I know the same fella and I had a good chuckle to myself.
She met him Friday night, late enough on a night out. The same fella would charm the fucking birds down from the trees and he made a huge impression on her as he was firing money around after a successful week in Cheltenham and she would a be materialistic kind of a girl. He filled her with drink, tall tales of a stud farm himself and the brother were building up (they have a 30 cow suckler farm and 10 hoggets) and house he has built that overlooks the Atlantic (his granduncles house left in the will and in truth it needs to be knocked to the ground). Anyway, she was hoping to get him home but it didn’t happen as your man had consumed a dangerous level of porter which eventually kicked in and his brother bundled him home in the back of a cab.
Anyway, he texted her Sunday morning asking her to call out to the house as I assume he had a half a horn on him after a serious amount of porter again on Saturday night. Her idea was that she would call out and and they might grab some lunch, have a nice walk along the beach and get to know each other better. hmmmm… I was in stitches at this stage.
So she drove out, 40 minute drive… took her ages to find the place as your man appeared to answer the phone intermittently. When she arrived she rang him he told her that the door was open and to walk in. She was horrified at the appearance of the hovel and tiptoed in to avoid staining her red shoes. Your man yells at her that he is in the back room and she wanders in and there he is, in a small bed and big smile on him. I didn’t get the exact details here but apparently he invited her to share the bed with him and she had a cut at him about making dangerous assumptions. He then lectured her that at her age she couldn’t afford to be choosy and this was as good as it fucking well got and in he also highlighted that he was in fact a handsome chap, very little body fat and a sharp wit to boot.
Anyway, she booted out the door and took refuge in her Audi A4 and headed for our place.
Once I had the bottles made I left them at it.
2 Likes
Good story kp
[QUOTE=“Kinvara’s Passion, post: 918746, member: 686”]They are always a good laugh alright. One of my wifes single friends called to the house last week, fierce upset.
I usually belt off when this particular one arrives as I cant cannot abide the gold digging cunt. However I was in the middle of making a batch of bottles so I hung around to get the gist of what had her upset this time. So the conversation kicked off about trying to meet someone and how she had met a great guy but he turned out to be a complete a$$h0le. I know the same fella and I had a good chuckle to myself.
She met him Friday night, late enough on a night out. The same fella would charm the fucking birds down from the trees and he made a huge impression on her as he was firing money around after a successful week in Cheltenham and she would a be materialistic kind of a girl. He filled her with drink, tall tales of a stud farm himself and the brother were building up (they have a 30 cow suckler farm and 10 hoggets) and house he has built that overlooks the Atlantic (his granduncles house left in the will and in truth it needs to be knocked to the ground). Anyway, she was hoping to get him home but it didn’t happen as your man had consumed a dangerous level of porter which eventually kicked in and his brother bundled him home in the back of a cab.
Anyway, he texted her Sunday morning asking her to call out to the house as I assume he had a half a horn on him after a serious amount of porter again on Saturday night. Her idea was that she would call out and and they might grab some lunch, have a nice walk along the beach and get to know each other better. hmmmm… I was in stitches at this stage.
So she drove out, 40 minute drive… took her ages to find the place as your man appeared to answer the phone intermittently. When she arrived she rang him he told her that the door was open and to walk in. She was horrified at the appearance of the hovel and tiptoed in to avoid staining her red shoes. Your man yells at her that he is in the back room and she wanders in and there he is, in a small bed and big smile on him. I didn’t get the exact details here but apparently he invited her to share the bed with him and she had a cut at him about making dangerous assumptions. He then lectured her that at her age she couldn’t afford to be choosy and this was as good as it fucking well got and in he also highlighted that he was in fact a handsome chap, very little body fat and a sharp wit to boot.
Anyway, she booted out the door and took refuge in her Audi A4 and headed for our place.
Once I had the bottles made I left them at it.[/QUOTE]
Absolutely outstanding!
[QUOTE=“Kinvara’s Passion, post: 918746, member: 686”]They are always a good laugh alright. One of my wifes single friends called to the house last week, fierce upset.
I usually belt off when this particular one arrives as I cant cannot abide the gold digging cunt. However I was in the middle of making a batch of bottles so I hung around to get the gist of what had her upset this time. So the conversation kicked off about trying to meet someone and how she had met a great guy but he turned out to be a complete a$$h0le. I know the same fella and I had a good chuckle to myself.
She met him Friday night, late enough on a night out. The same fella would charm the fucking birds down from the trees and he made a huge impression on her as he was firing money around after a successful week in Cheltenham and she would a be materialistic kind of a girl. He filled her with drink, tall tales of a stud farm himself and the brother were building up (they have a 30 cow suckler farm and 10 hoggets) and house he has built that overlooks the Atlantic (his granduncles house left in the will and in truth it needs to be knocked to the ground). Anyway, she was hoping to get him home but it didn’t happen as your man had consumed a dangerous level of porter which eventually kicked in and his brother bundled him home in the back of a cab.
Anyway, he texted her Sunday morning asking her to call out to the house as I assume he had a half a horn on him after a serious amount of porter again on Saturday night. Her idea was that she would call out and and they might grab some lunch, have a nice walk along the beach and get to know each other better. hmmmm… I was in stitches at this stage.
So she drove out, 40 minute drive… took her ages to find the place as your man appeared to answer the phone intermittently. When she arrived she rang him he told her that the door was open and to walk in. She was horrified at the appearance of the hovel and tiptoed in to avoid staining her red shoes. Your man yells at her that he is in the back room and she wanders in and there he is, in a small bed and big smile on him. I didn’t get the exact details here but apparently he invited her to share the bed with him and she had a cut at him about making dangerous assumptions. He then lectured her that at her age she couldn’t afford to be choosy and this was as good as it fucking well got and in he also highlighted that he was in fact a handsome chap, very little body fat and a sharp wit to boot.
Anyway, she booted out the door and took refuge in her Audi A4 and headed for our place.
Once I had the bottles made I left them at it.[/QUOTE]
Treemenjous scenes!
bottles of what @Kinvara’s Passion ?
Baby bottles?
Do we need an episode recap each week as to members lives.
[QUOTE=“TheUlteriorMotive, post: 918813, member: 2272”]Baby bottles?
Do we need an episode recap each week as to members lives.[/QUOTE]
No, I guessed as much, but I was hoping it was grog.
[QUOTE=“TheUlteriorMotive, post: 918813, member: 2272”]Baby bottles?
Do we need an episode recap each week as to members lives.[/QUOTE]
I wish it was O’Hara Red Ale @Mark Renton but alas no…
Boil the kettle
Let the water cool
Wash the 6 bottles
Sterilize the 6 bottles
add 6oz of sterile water to each bottle
add 6 evenly measured scoops of enfamil to each bottle
Use the Clevamoma mixer to mix each of the bottles
Cap the bottles and place them in the fridge to cool.
All in all takes about 20 minutes… every fucking night. I have it down to a fine art at this stage.
[QUOTE=“Kinvara’s Passion, post: 918819, member: 686”]I wish it was O’Hara Red Ale @Mark Renton but alas no…
Boil the kettle
Let the water cool
Wash the 6 bottles
Sterilize the 6 bottles
add 6oz of sterile water to each bottle
add 6 evenly measured scoops of enfamil to each bottle
Use the Clevamoma mixer to mix each of the bottles
Cap the bottles and place them in the fridge to cool.
All in all takes about 20 minutes… every fucking night. I have it down to a fine art at this stage.[/QUOTE]
Kev will be along shortly to tell you that your child has no hope in life
[QUOTE=“Kinvara’s Passion, post: 918819, member: 686”]I wish it was O’Hara Red Ale @Mark Renton but alas no…
Boil the kettle
Let the water cool
Wash the 6 bottles
Sterilize the 6 bottles
add 6oz of sterile water to each bottle
add 6 evenly measured scoops of enfamil to each bottle
Use the Clevamoma mixer to mix each of the bottles
Cap the bottles and place them in the fridge to cool.
All in all takes about 20 minutes… every fucking night. I have it down to a fine art at this stage.[/QUOTE]
And the misses in gobbing away with some dizzy bint.
[QUOTE=“glasagusban, post: 918850, member: 1533”]This him?
http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/images/shows/south-park/clip-thumbnails/season-4/0411/south-park-s04e11c02-closure-in-room-16-16x9.jpg[/QUOTE]
:rolleyes: