In what might be the most brief Skiing career in history, I took to the slopes on saturday for the very first time. A natural, I only fell twice all day. Unfortunately, the second involved a body twist and impact on my knee in which something popped leading to excruciating pain and a lift on a snowmobile to a first aid tent.
Two parallel days later, I can neither walk nor put any pressure on the joint and shall be back to the hospital tomorrow to see if they can diagnose the problem. Smart money is on the cruciate, but I’m hoping for just the medial ligaments.

What’s your worst ever injury and how long did it affect you for? Extra points for illustrations of pain level.

Broken ankle, had to be carried off the pitch, missed half the under 12 season and my game never really recovered

On the sidelines with a dead leg at the moment. Happened about 3 weeks ago and I’m not expected to return to action for a further 3 weeks. It sounds a tad gay but the pain was unreal for the first 2/3 days and I’m only getting any sort of proper movement in it back now.

I’ve been lucky enough with regard to serious injuries and I’ve never broken any bones. Dislocated shoulder and ankle would be the worst.

Here’s hoping it’s not your cruciate

Broke my hand a couple of times playing soccer. Worst was a mildly dislocated pelvis in rugby that resulted in a hamstring tear and the hamstring side of things was far worse.

Think I may have received a text or message of some e-description from you about said injury the other day. Think I was drunk when I got it though so ignored it - that is not reflective of any apathy on my part to your injury.

Broke both elbows, the right one twice, last time round it was broken in 3 places and dislocated and it was probably the most painful injury. Broke the nose 3 times, but never that sore or badly broken. Broke the wrist as well but that wasnt too bad either, and have cracked a few fingers. Wrist was broken in 5 a side game which featured Fran on goal against the teachers in school… fooking woodwork teacher flattened me.

Worst i ever saw was one of the lads smashed his pelvis playing football, running onto an overhit pass from me him playing fullforward ran full pelt into the goalkeeper with the knees up… It was horrific.

Here’s hoping it’s not your cruciate[/quote]

Here’s hoping it is*.

  • I don’t mean that - I think.

As someone that did my cruciate playing football when I was 12, it seems very like you’ve done your in. Remember it to this day me rolling round the pitch in agony while the rest of the national school were laughing as apparently it looked like “you were giving birth”

Absolute cunt of an injury. Never got the operation done on mine and still to this day it can give me trouble when it decides to click out of place. Then I spend the next few minutes in agony trying to click it back in.

Not good. You’ll need a MRSI scan to confirm either way

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[quote=“HangBlaa”]Wrist was broken in 5 a side game which featured Fran on goal against the teachers in school… fooking woodwork teacher flattened me.

Forgot about that. Was that the big cork whore?

Here get your shit together with the scan. I’m not going all the way to Beijing to find out you can’t play football when I get there. I’m too shy to play with your team if you’re not playing too.

cracked the pelvis playing rugby once, to be honest it was painless enough and only for i was in for an xray on my shoulder in the same incident and reported a bit of soreness in the abdomen area i would never have known about it, pain gone in 24 hours.

The very same Diarmuid O’Sullivan-esque langer.

Dislocated little finger. Sore. Still out of line

Broke a metatarsal (Gary Neville injury, not David Beckham)

Bad sprain in the 5 a side tourney down in Ferrybank a few years ago, in the first game, went in goal after that.

Luckily my illustrious playing career has not given rise to any serious injuries – touchwood and all that.

The worst injury I ever saw occur to a team mate happened to site administrator Bandage in a game of astro last year.

Having pulled off an heroic save Bandage got to his feet and TFK launched an attack. Having cut through the opposition defence, we won a corner after a defender hacked the ball across the fence to clear to undeniable danger. That meant we had no football.

So Bandage scaled the fence to grab a football on his side. No problem there. But once he picked up the ball , and with both teams looking intently at him as they awaited to commence play, Bandage slipped and fell on his arse. Cue a helluva lot of laughter.

Couple of weeks later Bandage was complaining of broken ribs from the fall!

Nothing more serious than a broken arm for me. Although a big, heavy, wet sliothar straight in the balls from about 10 yards during a winter challenge match was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced.

That incident Farmer mentioned must have been pretty amusing for everyone else but me. Up over a fence and then up an embankment onto the road to get the ball. It was pissing rain and the conditions were slippy underfoot and coming back down the steps too quickly I basically went up in the air and landed straight back down on my back as there was fook all grip on my astro boots.

There was a good few steps and they were steep enough so I took blows on my hole, my lower back, my middle back, my upper back and around the shoulder area. I was completely winded and lay motionless for about 30 seconds in real pain before I could even try to get up. All the other cunts were up at the end of the pitch roaring at me to get the fook up so they could take our corner.

What happened from the resulting corner. Did TFK score ? Were there any goal celebrations coreographed to commemorate the bandage bounce ?

Apologies for going off a bit of a tangent here but we did in our hole score from the corner. Our lack of movement from corners is a running joke - the lads tend to helpfully stand still beside their markers and the ball’s generally cleared at the near post.

During the summer, I had a whinge about it before the start of one particular game and decided to develop a corner routine. I christened it ‘textbook’. Basically someone darts towards the near post and the ball’s fizzed across low. That first lad steps over it and someone else arriving late at pace has a first time shot behind them.

I lined the lads up and had them practicing it and the opposition were warming up down at the other end of the pitch watching the lads blaze ‘textbook’ shots all over the place. Anyway, we won an early corner and I roared ‘textbook’ and the lads did the routine and someone (can’t remember who) sclaffed a shot but it scuttered into the far corner. The oppo were all laughing going, ‘We were watching you doing that in the warm up and it still didn’t register that you were going to try it.’

That’s possibly the only time we’ve ever scored from a corner. ‘Textbook’ indeed.

Worst pain was when I tackled a fella and got a knee in the mouth for my troubles. Got up and realised I was missing a few teeth and was covered in blood. Tooth snapped and sliced my bottom lip open, had to get 14 stitches in my lip to close a gap the width of two fingers. The following week, after the stitches were out I was in the dental hospital having my teeth sorted out and the dentist asked me had I been x rayed before the stiches, had I fook, local GP had stitched me in the dressing room, possibly after a few pints.
When they xrayed my mouth it turned out there was loads of shards of tooth stuck in the lip. They had to slice the lip again to remove the bits of tooth and re stich me. Absolutely sickening stuff.

Ended up having over 40 hours of treatment to repair the broken teeth. I nearly wear a gumshield walkin to work now.

Dan wins-Fuckin hell.
Broke my finger about 12 years ago playing football for the school.
Have yet to go to the doctor with it though!

[quote=“Pikeman”]Dan wins-Fuckin hell.
Broke my finger about 12 years ago playing football for the school.
Have yet to go to the doctor with it though![/quote]

Ya I was v lucky with injureis generally, few knocks and wear and tear but I missed 3 matches with teeth and that was probably the most I ever missed so cant complain. Would def take the kick in the mouth again over a cruciate injy, having seen fellas dislocate there shoulder Id also sleep on a bed of nails before id take one of them

When I saw the post from dancarter in this section, before even reading it, I just knew that his was going to beat everyone else’s.

I was right.