Job Interviews

[anon95599269]

@myboyblue

I think part of me did die reading it. Its up there with that mong who posted up about the shop he used to run.

& its no surprise the 2 of them are bessiers 1/2 a world away

[Julio_Geordio]

@KIB man

have a rake of anecdotes learned off in your head -

here is one I have used many times, other ones in relation to hard work- spent my summers as a student working in construction - learned the value of a good work ethic

Q - when have you been able to personally resolve an issue with a customer etc etc (there has always been a question of this type thrown in)

A - I like to tell a story of back when I was a student - i used work during all the holiday seasons for spending money, ah sure ya know yourself bit of money for the rest of the year hahaha. Anyway one Xmas, I got a job with Dunnes and was on my way into my shift when on the corridoor on the way in I saw this person in serious distress at the phone credit machine. it was one of those machines that you put your money in and it dispensed the credit slip. anyway he was creating quite a scene as it was the main hallway into the shopping centre at our busiest time of year. I kind of felt I had to go up to him and see what the matter was. Eventually after some persuasion I got him to calm down and sit on the bench next to the machine. he explained that he had put 50 euros into the machine and nothing had come out. He really needed that fifty euros. Anyway I signalled to another staff member to get him a cup of tea and got our head office to ring the machin distributor crowd. We put him on the phone to them and they ensured him that they would have someone there today and if there was fifty euros jammed in the machine it would be returned to him. he seemed happy enough with that and headed away. The manager on duty at the time commended me for my action and i actually received the employee of the month award. I guess the key was seperating the person from the problem. People are decent at the end of the day and we all can get a bit stressed from time to time.

I dropped this story in London a few years back to silence for a few seconds. I thought I was fucked - anyway the snot nosed cunt at the other end of the table goes yeah I used work in Retail myself we used see these kinds of incidents regularly. they lapped it up :lol:

Interviews are a pile of bollocks that justify ridiculous salaries from the most disposable part of any organisation - HR. I liked my one here in Aus - a coffee with two of the senior lads and they asked me when i could start after about five minutes. No bullshitting around.

The first question I would ask you is:

You seem to move around a lot and haven’t held any decent job for any length of time. Why do you think you are so unemployable?

[mickee321]

@briantinnion

I have to do some interviews this week. Can anyone provide me with some questions to fill the time? I’m not a chatty person and really need to make the interviews last at least 30 mins.

good one brian,
i did a few myself for a previous company i used to work for, instead of asking technical questions like about final year project or that were relevant to the job that the candidates had prob prepared for we used to fire random stuff at them like “how does a fridge work”? or " how does a telephone work?" and watch them sweat.
We used to totally play dumb ( as we were) but saying nothing and allowing a long protracted silence to develope that the candidates in most cases became uncomfortable with and sought to fill with their own ideas.
We were basically just looking for a logical explanation under pressure as we didnt have a clue either unknownst to them but the levels of panic and bullshit some poor fooks resorted to was laughable at times.
One time we asked this bird, " you are driving home late at night and the battery fails in your car, what do you do?".

she started crying.

[mickee321]

///

[cluaindiuic]

We were interviewing interns there a couple of years back and we asked a gimme starter.

“Tell me about yourself”
Answer: “What do you want to know?”

It went downhill from there. Hostile mofo.

[The_Dublin_Bay_Prawn]

@SHANNONSIDER**

Polish your shoes.

:rolleyes:

@caoimhaoin

Make it a conversation, a chat almost. The old way of interviewing and being ready for all sorts of HR analyzed bullshit questions is gone, thank god. Trust is everything these days, if he oe she trusts and likes you as a person your in with a good shout.

Best of luck with it. If you are able to answer, what field is it in?

:lol:

@Watch The Break

Think of some good weaknesses. And some stories that illustrate your strengths, like the mixed tape one.

:rolleyes:

@The Runt

Tell them your main weakness is that your awesomeness can sometimes make your work colleagues feel inadequate.

:rolleyes:

@caoimhaoin

Cool, seems to be a fair few jobs in the area, am i right? Think there is a fair few qualified to do it as well though.

I suppose with jobs like that it gets quite technical, and is very much down to what you tested previously, what programmes you are comfortable with etc. So then if you tick those boxes its all about personality.

Google your interviewer, or talk to someone who may already work with him. Find out what he’s into, try and use a story that may bring up a conversation with it, maybe sporting analogy or whatever. If you make it a chat and the actual job is half forgotten about, your on the pigs back.

FFS.

@Flano

Ask them about the homeland. If they don’t know what you mean throw them out the nearest window.

@myboyblue

Are you single?

Are those your real breasts?

:rolleyes:
FOAD.

[The_Dublin_Bay_Prawn]

@Watch The Break

I used to do interviews as well. When you’d be looking at graduates I’d have to do 20 or 30 a day. Ask them whatever the fuck you want. Always be scribbling on a pad in front of you so they get the sense you’re judging them as well :lol: I thought they were great craic to be honest

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Mac]

@The Runt

What was the answer?

I would have said 6.

I laughed in his face and asked him how deep was the swimming pool. He didn’t know and said good answer. I was offered the job!

@north county corncrake

im under the impression that you are in the equine industry?

what unexpected situations arise when you are slopping out the stables?

Don’t work in the equine industry mate

@KIB man

have a rake of anecdotes learned off in your head -

here is one I have used many times, other ones in relation to hard work- spent my summers as a student working in construction - learned the value of a good work ethic

Q - when have you been able to personally resolve an issue with a customer etc etc (there has always been a question of this type thrown in)

A - I like to tell a story of back when I was a student - i used work during all the holiday seasons for spending money, ah sure ya know yourself bit of money for the rest of the year hahaha. Anyway one Xmas, I got a job with Dunnes and was on my way into my shift when on the corridoor on the way in I saw this person in serious distress at the phone credit machine. it was one of those machines that you put your money in and it dispensed the credit slip. anyway he was creating quite a scene as it was the main hallway into the shopping centre at our busiest time of year. I kind of felt I had to go up to him and see what the matter was. Eventually after some persuasion I got him to calm down and sit on the bench next to the machine. he explained that he had put 50 euros into the machine and nothing had come out. He really needed that fifty euros. Anyway I signalled to another staff member to get him a cup of tea and got our head office to ring the machin distributor crowd. We put him on the phone to them and they ensured him that they would have someone there today and if there was fifty euros jammed in the machine it would be returned to him. he seemed happy enough with that and headed away. The manager on duty at the time commended me for my action and i actually received the employee of the month award. I guess the key was seperating the person from the problem. People are decent at the end of the day and we all can get a bit stressed from time to time.

I dropped this story in London a few years back to silence for a few seconds. I thought I was fucked - anyway the snot nosed cunt at the other end of the table goes yeah I used work in Retail myself we used see these kinds of incidents regularly. they lapped it up :lol:

Interviews are a pile of bollocks that justify ridiculous salaries from the most disposable part of any organisation - HR. I liked my one here in Aus - a coffee with two of the senior lads and they asked me when i could start after about five minutes. No bullshitting around.

Can someone tell me if its worth wasting a minute of my life reading this?

[Rintintin]

no no no

[gola]

@north county corncrake

i honestly hope you die in your sleep tonight after reading that

:lol:
Laughed very loudly after reading this response, fair play mate.

He’s an even bigger cunt than Dublin Bay Prawn that KIB lad.

[gola]

@Mac

I laughed in his face and asked him how deep was the swimming pool. He didn’t know and said good answer. I was offered the job!

Don’t work in the equine industry mate

Can someone tell me if its worth wasting a minute of my life reading this?

Ah it definitely is in a kind of David Brent cringey type way.

I’d like to think he’s pulling the piss but I doubt it.

[briantinnion]

@Watch The Break

I used to do interviews as well. When you’d be looking at graduates I’d have to do 20 or 30 a day. Ask them whatever the fuck you want. Always be scribbling on a pad in front of you so they get the sense you’re judging them as well :lol: I thought they were great craic to be honest

These are graduates too. Had a tough time getting to the 30 minute mark, I tend to relax once I get to that point. I hate doing them though, I’ve got low self esteem, no personality and I’m not very chatty so these things are a nightmare.

Have to be careful what your record on the evaluation form too as they are entitled to view that at a later date by law. The thing to remember is - if you right “great rack” make sure you scribble it out really well.

[farmerinthecity]

@briantinnion

Have to be careful what your record on the evaluation form too as they are entitled to view that at a later date by law. The thing to remember is - if you right “great rack” make sure you scribble it out really well.

It may be a good idea to spell correctly as well.

[myboyblue]

@farmerinthecity

It may be a good idea to spell correctly as well.

[mickee321]

@briantinnion

These are graduates too. Had a tough time getting to the 30 minute mark, I tend to relax once I get to that point. I hate doing them though, I’ve got low self esteem, no personality and I’m not very chatty so these things are a nightmare.

Have to be careful what your record on the evaluation form too as they are entitled to view that at a later date by law. The thing to remember is - if you right “great rack” make sure you scribble it out really well.

see my post above, in general allow the candidate to do the talking , just have a few questions prepared,
ive never conducted an interview where there was a set min or max time so if after 5 minutes you’ve had enough then just let it be,
its an interview not a conversation
also your point in bold i do not believe to be correct,
a previous corporation i used to work for would not under any circimstances even give u a reference for fear of been sued, all you would get is a proof of employment letter from the company. i find it hard to believe nor have i ever been briefed that a candidtate is allowed to see the interview evaluation or the data is even retained

[mickee321]

Thinking about it , if you are interviewing graduates with 0 experience for a graduate program where the training is spoonfed and structured I guess you must ask the same questions each interview right?
Ive never done that, in my previous cases its been interviewing graduates and people with average experience for design ENG and say technician roles in a aeronautics company with military speciality.
The work in general involves long hours ,deadlines and thinking on your feet , contractor based and there is no training plan or anything like that for new employees
You are just thrown with a buddy and if you don’t fit in after the min 3 months your out, all the applicants need a H1 min so u know they have a reasonable degree of cop on.
The purpose of our interviews is to see can they apply that cop on real time,

[Rocko]

@cluaindiuic

I have a job interview coming up.
Wondering if any of ye could provide any pearls of wisdom.

Any good sites with a load of interview type questions.

If it’s on Friday and there’s a Turkish looking guy asking the questions feel free to mention TFK and I’ll see what I can do.

[cluaindiuic]

@Rocko

If it’s on Friday and there’s a Turkish looking guy asking the questions feel free to mention TFK and I’ll see what I can do.

It is on Friday.

[Rocko]

@cluaindiuic

It is on Friday.

Hmmm… wear a red hat and I’ll know it’s you.

[cluaindiuic]

@Rocko

Hmmm… wear a red hat and I’ll know it’s you.

Shit, am I supposed to know Linux?