Joe Duffy's Liveline


#1

I was en route to a meeting yesterday and this was on the radio. Now, I wasn’t driving so I was going by the age-old driver chooses radio/music rule and it wasn’t my choice to listen to it. To be honest, I’ve only ever heard the odd snippet of the show but I’d be aware of it through its reputation for windbags ringing in and because of the Apres Match skit of Duffy etc. But it’s fooking mad.

It started with some auld wan from Kerry called Mary complaining about the vomiting bug in Lourdes at present and how on their recent trip over there all her group got very sick. She said Joe Walsh Tours should have warned them in advance of the widespread nature of the bug and given them the option of a refund before the trip. If that wasn’t possible then the very least she would have expected was to be very thoroughly warned about the bug beforehand and reminded on arrival at their hotel and also have been provided with courtesy tablets and wipes. She wasn’t very pleased at all.

Then another auld wan rang in and said she’s just back from Lourdes and was very sick. Then some auld lad rang in and said his brother-in-law is just back from Lourdes and he was very sick. Then another auld wan rang in and said she’s just back from Lourdes and was very sick. Then Fionnula spoke and she runs the hotel in Lourdes that the first auld wan was staying in. She said it was very unfortunate that people had got sick but she was speaking to a doctor in Lourdes and he said it was something that was ‘in the air’ and it definitely wasn’t anything to do with her hotel. Mary said they should have provided tablets but Fionnula said they’re not medically trained. Mary said they should have shut down the hotel but Fionnula said that wasn’t an option as it wouldn’t have been fair on the people who weren’t affected by the bug.

Then another auld wan rang in and said she stayed in Fionnula’s hotel before and it was a lovely hotel and she’d stay in that hotel again if she was going to Lourdes tomorrow. Then Fionnula said she wanted to reiterate that there wasn’t a problem with her hotel. The bug had hit the whole of Lourdes and everyone was affected. Then another auld wan rang in and said she was in Lourdes and that she was sick too. She said she was sure it was food poisoning because she had the chicken on the Friday night at a busy restaurant there and was sick from the Saturday onwards.

Then another auld lad rang in and said he reckoned it was the air conditioning on the airplanes that was to blame. Joe stepped in and said it was so widespread in Lourdes that surely all the different planes arriving into the locality weren’t experiencing air conditioning problems. Then Fionnula said the food in her restaurant was fine. Then Joe said we have to remember that a lot of people going to Lourdes are sick to begin with. Mary chimed in and said her group were in perfect health and had travelled over because of their devotion to Our Lady.

Then Joe said thanks to everyone who contributed to it and they took a break without resolving anything. I simply can’t believe how stupid people are and why they’d ring into this show. 'Twas quality stuff all the same though - any avid listeners out there?


#2

I never listened to it.
If there is one character trait I hate above all else it is whingers who go out of their way to complain but expect to get things for nothing. This is the life blood of Liveline.


#3

More of a G Ryan Man myself, Hes a dirty fucker loads of sex talk and u get to hear him eating his breakfast every morning!


#4

Brilliant banage.


#5

I have heard it from time to time and it is most definitely the poor relation in Radio One’s family.

I remember someone auld fella ringing up a few years back.

Joe: Auld Fella - good afternoon to you.
AF: Good afternoon Joe.
Joe: You saw something truly shocking yesterday.
AF: I did indeed Joe. It is actually very difficult to talk about.
Joe: Take your time.
AF: Well yesterday I was in a shopping centre…
Joe (interrupts): Don’t name it.
AF: I wasn’t going to Joe. I was there with my grandson and we had just picked up the trolley to go into Tesco.
Joe: Go on…
AF: Anyway I looked over and I could see this child crying. His parents were with him but the poor child looked very upset. (well deduced).
Joe: Go on…
AF: Then all of a sudden the father came over and hit the poor child on the bottom.
Joe: Ah no…
AF: That’s as true as I sit here Joe. You wonder if that stuff goes on in public what goes on at home.

So basically the Dad hit the kid a slap on the arse because it was playing up. And you have some auld fooker, with too much time on his hands, ringing up the national broadcaster to tell them that the world is going to end practically, and them giving him air time.

Was it for this?


#6

Listen to Radio One all day in work with the exception of Liveline. I detest it with a passion.


#7

I used to listen to it every day in an old job a few years ago to pass the time.
I refuse to now after the going over Joe gave to Bobby Robson after the Cyprus game (I think it was the Cyprus game). Duffy obviously thought he was a hard-hitting investigative journalist but really he was just terrorising a near-dead elderly man. Desperate stuff. Staunton and Delaney were worse for wheeling him out in the first place, obviously, but it doesn’t excuse Duffy.


#8

[quote=“Thrawneen”]I used to listen to it every day in an old job a few years ago to pass the time.
I refuse to now after the going over Joe gave to Bobby Robson after the Cyprus game (I think it was the Cyprus game). Duffy obviously thought he was a hard-hitting investigative journalist but really he was just terrorising a near-dead elderly man. Desperate stuff. Staunton and Delaney were worse for wheeling him out in the first place, obviously, but it doesn’t excuse Duffy.[/quote]

I remember hearing that and I was raging at the time. Talk about shooting fish in barrell, with that prick Duffy going on as if this interview was the last chance to save Irish soccer.


#9

some ould skanger from north wall rang in to say that she had “forgotten to pay for a few items” and left the store and that security had hauled her in asnd treated her like a thief

tesco actually apologised for this

WTF


#10

Anyone remember the lad who had murderous tendencies because of milk cartons(or was it the contents) :slight_smile:


#11

Flano’s a weiner

What are you talking about?

You silly cunt.


#12

Does anyone remember when Duffy was heckled by some big fat drunk bloke live on The Panel in the Helix?? That was some funny shit.


#13

Flano, I apologise for my previous post on this thread. Just remembered there was also this lad on it the other day making the point that people who’ve been convicted of a crime should have their ‘files sealed’ if they don’t reoffend in the following 5 years. Apparently, any offence you commit permanently stays on your record in Ireland.

Fair enough, yer man was saying that his son was still having trouble any time he applied for a job because of an offence he committed 15 years ago and he’d already served the punishment handed down by the legal system.

All reasonable enough up to that point and then he said his son was only a young lad of 18 at the time and wouldn’t even have known that his offence was illegal. Joe asked him what he was convicted of and yer man replied possession of ecstacy tablets.


#14

Quality stuff lads. When I was on study leave and stuff back on the day I used to hate Liveline because after a few days it gets unbearable but now if I’m off sick or in a taxi or somewhere and I catch a snippet of it I love it. In small doses it’s comedy gold.

Heard one at the start of the summer about people in an apartment block who had a Dublin flag on the railings and your wan who rang in didn’t mind it being there on match days but there’s a time and a place for flags and an apartment block starts to look like a block of flats if there’s flags there all week. Stupid fucking cow. Joe was trying to negotiate a compromise where they could have flags for a few days either side of the match day but then I got to Horse and Jockey where I stopped for lunch and I missed the end of it.


#15

Tomorrow, the day after the annual budget announcement, will surely be a bumper Liveline day. A day to bring the auld wireless to work.


#16

was that a gift episode?


#17

Cracking show today. Anyone listening?


#18

Let me guess, Cork Hurlers?


#19

No, some shyster organising a beauty pageant who’s ripping off the girls. Joe’s giving him hell. It’s pretty fucking funny.


#20

http://www.faceofireland.com/

The gehirls need escorts lads. Sign-up today.