Bad enough as coming off was seeing we only had 7 men to begin with, he’s now taken 2 days off work because of it.
What a weiner. And he cheated on his girlfriend on Saturday night / Sunday morning four times between 4am and 1pm too apparently.
I could even hear the beginning of the first ‘session’ as I watched the end of Pittsburgh and Jacksonville game because I had the sound on mute and my ear strained up against his bedroom door.
it’s merely a sign of me placing more emphasis on tfk.com football team than on earning a living. it’s vital that i regain fitness asap and resume my Dirk Kuyt non-scoring striker role given the way our season is going.
i considered seeking a medical assessment yesterday but wasn’t sure if it would be covered under the club’s player welfare policy. can you provide details of same please rock?
Aw no. That’s not what I wanted to hear. I’d high hopes for Jugs. I thought with the new job, and the new girlfriend that he’d settled down for life. Thinking of you mate.
she told me all she wanted was a bit of fun, a bit of length, a good throw over every now and then. There was me spending christmas dreaming of happy families. fucking bitch. why are women so insensitive? could she not have been honest with me from the start? fuck knows when i’ll be able to face a dressing room after this. the jibes, the mickey taking, the practical jokes in YMCA Sandymount. Even the u14 girls hockey team that trains after out games will be mocking me. luckily bandage is here for me, he bought me ice cream and crisps.
He’s back together with his girlfriend. I wasn’t there at the time but apparently there was a real Scott and Charlene moment in Copper’s last Saturday night when they made up.
The ginger banker is in Belfast today for a work meeting. It’s the first time he’s ever been across the border (this is a person who shit himself constantly when we lived on Dorset Street for 6 months a few years back) and he was absolutely bricking it last night. What a weiner.
[quote=“Bandage”]Got a kick on the foot the other night.
Bad enough as coming off was seeing we only had 7 men to begin with, he’s now taken 2 days off work because of it.
What a weiner. And he cheated on his girlfriend on Saturday night / Sunday morning four times between 4am and 1pm too apparently.
I could even hear the beginning of the first ‘session’ as I watched the end of Pittsburgh and Jacksonville game because I had the sound on mute and my ear strained up against his bedroom door.
But that’s beside the point. He’s sick.[/quote]
[quote=“Bandage”]Jugs Update:
He’s back together with his girlfriend. I wasn’t there at the time but apparently there was a real Scott and Charlene moment in Copper’s last Saturday night when they made up.
The ginger banker is in Belfast today for a work meeting. It’s the first time he’s ever been across the border (this is a person who shit himself constantly when we lived on Dorset Street for 6 months a few years back) and he was absolutely bricking it last night. What a weiner
[/quote]
A phrase obviously only to be used when talking about the gingerbread man
He’s back together with his girlfriend. I wasn’t there at the time but apparently there was a real Scott and Charlene moment in Copper’s last Saturday night when they made up.
The ginger banker is in Belfast today for a work meeting. It’s the first time he’s ever been across the border (this is a person who shit himself constantly when we lived on Dorset Street for 6 months a few years back) and he was absolutely bricking it last night. What a weiner.[/quote]
no.2 is inaccurate - i don’t have a fear of nordieland and its people, i just hate the coonts. you’ll be glad to know i’m back safely - i made a dash for the early train despite being booked on the late train just to avoid hanging around orangetown any longer than necessary.
farmer, i just did a dictionary.com search on 2 words that came to mind when i thought of you:
Gangly
tall and thin and having long slender limbs; “a gangling teenager”; “a lanky kid transformed almost overnight into a handsome young man” [syn: gangling]
tall and thin
Freak
any abnormal phenomenon or product or unusual object; anomaly; aberration.
a person or animal on exhibition as an example of a strange deviation from nature; monster.
I exclusively revealed that Jugs was in Belfast yesterday and an away-day involving him wouldn’t be complete with an accompanying tale. As we all know from prior stories, Jugs tends to have quite regular mishaps when it comes to shitting. And so it proved yesterday. The ginger banker felt an urgent need for a shit about half an hour outside Belfast and so scurried off to the nearest toilet on the train.
But as soon as he planted himself on the can, an avalanche of crap rolled out and Jugs’ relief was palpable and as prevalent as the smell. Anyway, he then turned around to grab some bog roll only to discover there was none in the cubicle, even though these were the toilets in the first class carriage! Jugs panicked and checked his suit pockets for tissues only to realise they were empty too. He took a deep breath and decided the best option would simply be to pull back up his trousers and stroll down to the toilet at the other end of the first class carriage and wipe his ass in there.
However, upon arrival outside this cubicle it appeared to be occupied given the door was shut closed even though the ‘engaged’ light wasn’t on. After briefly surveying the scene, Jugs decided to go for broke and gave the door a bit of a shunt only to be met with the attractive and arousing sight of a burly, middle-aged man taking a dump. Jugs stood there aghast for a moment before blurting out an apology and making to walk away.
As the toilets in first class were relatively spacious, the man couldn’t reach forward far enough to close the door while crapping so he politely yet firmly shouted at Jugs to close the door. So the ginger jackass had to turn around, lean into the cubicle and drag the door closed as this random bloke was shitting out his insides. Jugs was a little bit scarred by all the shit that happened and so after his travel travails up and down the carriage he then decided to go back to his seat without wiping in the end!
He admitted last night that he actually didn’t get to have a full and thorough wipe until he reached his meeting destination a good hour later. I can only imagine the smell of excrement off his person - it was possibly even worse than usual.
‘I was thinking of setting up my own wank jar. Every time I have one I’d throw a fiver in the jar. You’d save a grand in two or three months.’
‘She’s got a really fat hole and talks like a man but other than that she’s fairly decent.’
‘The worst thing about women is when they talk to you. When you bang them you just want to roll over and go asleep. I’d even prefer more kissing and cuddling if it meant the silly bitches would just shut up and remain quiet.’
