[quote=“Bandage”]
‘Mary-Rose from Athboy in County Meath.’[/quote]
a name fit for a car-ferry.
[quote=“Bandage”]
‘Mary-Rose from Athboy in County Meath.’[/quote]
With that much info I had hoped to find a Bebo or Facebook page of the victim but I was without luck.
I have done quite well in the past vetting people who I have either interviewed or people who have applied for a room in our old house by finding their Bebo or Facebook pages. Mainly Bebo.
My co-workers have termed it “stalking”. I disagree.
Can’t beat a good bit of facebook stalking, I’ll probably do a bit when I get home tonight
hence why when people are job hunting they should keep they bebos and facebooks private
Same for knobs that are going on my super sweet 16
Top tip of the day. Do we have a prize?
15 pancakes
Going for the Jugular
No it’s not!
You made reference to it here as well Bandage
Stop teasing me Mac. That’s not it.
True, but this thread is always worth a bump.
Can you not just recap it Bandage…
Dunph, I found the story. Actually it’s not very amusing:
Person Involved: Jugs
Date: 1 June 2007 (Still have the text I sent to all our mutual friends the next day about his escapade in my ‘sent’ items)
Location: Somewhere near Blanchardstown
Preamble: It was the June Bank Holiday weekend and a huge crew from Jugs’ workplace were going out - including a batch of ladies, one of whom had caught Jugs’ eye. Anyway, they went to the usual after-work-on-Friday venue and proceeded to get thoroughly locked. As can sometimes happen early on in the night all the lads got involved in their usual debates / rows about sport and were huddled around drinking together pretty much leaving the girls to their own devices. One pint followed another and Jugs had barely spoken to the lady he’d set out to approach before he realised she’d in fact left the pub and gone home. Not to worry there’ll be other potential targets later on he thought and carried on drinking.
The night wore on and eventually talk of moving on to a nightclub came up. At this stage a few others bowed out and the only ones game for going on were Jugs, one of the other lads and two of the girls, including one who was a ridiculous fatty. So a taxi was hailed and off they went uptown to Copper’s. A couple of rounds of shorts and a few shots were had to liven up things after the pints had taken their toll and it wasn’t long before the better looking bird was dragging everyone out to dance. Jugs and his work colleague had a quick chat and decided she was fair game and it’d be a case of ‘may the best man win’. Now this bird wasn’t a cracker by any means but she was positively stunning compared to the other yoke.
Jugs told us she was dancing really suggestively, taking turns rubbing herself up against him and the other lad as the two of them were vowing for her attention with their respective moves. All the while the other beast was dancing away on the sidelines creating a little crater as she did so (I jest). Eventually Jugs’ hopes were shattered when his mate literally threw the head in and started scoring the hottish bird. They retreated to the edge of the dancefloor where they continued their passionate embrace and it wasn’t long before they were making their way to the exit arm-in-arm, with the bloke giving Jugs a little wink as he went past.
The Backup Plan: Jugs had been brought to a particular state of frenzy by the decent bird and didn’t fancy going back to square one and trying to chat up a randomer. He thought for a moment and then settled on the other beastly behometh from work and made his way over. He now desperately needed a bird that night and quality concerns were no longer an issue. After throwing a few shapes he made his move, lobbing the gob on this thing despite what it looked (and felt) like. Soon after the nightclub ended and Jugs set about trying to get her home (even though he didn’t have a crane). Seriously though, she said she didn’t feel comfortable going back to his house on the first night but that he could come back to her apartment in Blanchardstown. ‘That’s an awful long way to go to bang a whale,’ Jugs thought to himself before his drunken instincts gave way and they were in a taxi heading northwards soon after.
What Happens In Blanch Won’t Stay In Blanch: Jugs consoled himself by convincing his inner psyche that the state of this bird would be compensated for by her eagerness to please. However, after they got into bed she made it clear in no uncertain terms that all she wanted was a nice night of cuddling, a common and frustrating occurrence for this particular man. He spent most of the night trying to loosen her up with word and attempted deed but there was nothing doing. Then at one stage he realised he needed to do a $hi^. So Jugs decided to hold it in for the night and deal with the situation in the morning and spent the rest of the night lying there making sure a nasty fart didn’t squeak out.
The next morning he went into the bathroom to do his business only to realise there was no toilet roll there. Seeing as he’d been holding in a poo all night he didn’t foresee an issue as he stood over the toilet doing a pi$$ with, for some reason, his boxer shorts down around his ankles before he felt what he thought was another fart coming on. You can only imagine his horror when a huge amount of liquidy excrement came flowing out simultaneously to his urine and, as he looked down, it was all over his boxers but had splattered off them and rebounded all over the bathroom tiles and there was a brown pool on the toilet mat too. Basically the whole bathroom, along with his jocks, was stained and covered in $hit. Jugs panicked and didn’t know what to do so, quite inexplicably, he pulled back up his boxer shorts, left the mess in the bathroom, went back into the bedroom, put on his clothes without disturbing the ‘sleeping beauty’ and promptly left the house.
I think the next bit is funny. Myself and the other lad we live with were chatting in the living room on the Saturday morning when Jugs arrived home after being missing in action all night. Upon enquiring as to whether he had been successful in his endeavours the previous night, Jugs replied, ‘No, and I $hit myself too.’ He then told us the story as above in the same minute detail and explained how he got home. We presumed a taxi but Jugs said that would have been too embarrassing as the driver would have got the smell off him. So he decided to get the bus back into town because ‘most people who get the bus are poor and smell like $hit anyway so I fitted in perfectly.’ Then he walked all the way back from the quays to our gaff in the leafy suburbs of Dublin 4, all the time in his wet, brown underpants.
The Aftermath: Jugs and the fat bird never spoke again in work. They have both since found alternative employment.
Classic Jugs. 
:lol:
Wasn’t sure whether to post this in Things That Are Wrong or to put it in here but I think it’s best captured in this thread.
I received the below email from an unnamed TFK member earlier. I’m delighted to confirm that I have passed on appropriate advice but the fact somebody would go to all this trouble for a girl who hasn’t “put out” yet is deeply concerning/romantic depending on your point of view. God only knows what’s on the DVDs.
____,
While I will always refer to Farmer with any issues of a romantic nature, I will continue to refer to you for problems of a more technical variety.
I made a DVD which I then presented to a special someone (who’s not Bandage). Unfortunately the DVD will not play on her DVD player and she only has a notebook laptop so can’t play it on that. The end result is my present is useless to her. In fact it only served to tease her as it created the impression that she would be able to enjoy it over the weekend while I was away, when in fact she couldn’t.
My question is this:- Is there a way to convert the files on that DVD into something which could be watched on a standard DVD player? The files are .avi and were torrent downloads.
Thanking you in anticipation of a helpful response,
____.
I’m just puked all over my computer screen in work.
I wonder who the culprit could possibly be.
Sick bastard.
That’s highly disturbing.
What advice did you give re: burning DVDs?
I advised the poster (let’s call him Bugs) to return to a torrent site and download WinAVI which I find most straightforward for one-click AVI to DVD burning.