I’ve a customer/pal/protégé/second cousin. He’s a likeable, easy going, honest, gormless, harmless and unpretentious individual- his inherent goodness has been rewarded- he’s hung like a particularly well hung horse.
About a decade or so ago he arrived very late for a piss up, he seemed flustered. In response to enquiries he explained that he had a shot at a ride later that night, and he thought it best to be prepared. He had been to five different pharmacies in a quest to find big enough condoms. He even described a very helpful lady who had done her best to help him out.
I christened him “Jimmy Five Chemists”
It’s served him well since.
The bastard.
Yawn
Yawning = losing
You nailed it buddy
There is a “pothole” in our club.
Because if you see him, you avoid him
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No mention of “Touchy” Fehily. 
Larry is normally much better than that
There was a fella (probably still is) in Thomondgate called Robert Murphy. One of his more prominent features was his nose. Not so much beak; more like one more commonly seen sub-Sahara Africa, splashed across the width of his face poor craytur.
Anyway, some bright spark nicknamed him Norm and word spread. What also spread was he wasn’t to be told where the nickname came from.
“Why you being called Norm, Rob?”
“dunno, just one of those things, called it once or twice and stuck”
“Oh right yeah” was the party line all stuck to while holding in the laughter knowing Norm stood for Nostrils On Robert Murphy
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Someone give this fella an infraction
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Heard of a fella earlier who had half an ear, his nickname was 18 months.
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Sneezy
Fella in college was called Israel because everyone hated him.
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Knew a lad called filter because was an extreme man for the team and take away all the bad stuff.
Your work environment seems surreal
Heard tell of a lad called Enda May. Everyone called him June.
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One of the Dublin gangland figures is called ‘Cancer’.
Nicknames are a bit of an anachronism it seems, very few young fellas have nicknames anymore, they don’t even have insulting nicknames for teachers in most cases. Pity.
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