Opening lines

In Fitzsimmons. Give me some opening lines quick. For a friend.

Hi. I’m tank. Father to bastards and an unashamed deviant. Would you like to be impregnated


How much are you willing to spend for these lines? You’ll pay a premium on a Saturday night

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How ya

You’d want to be Johnny depp to pull that off Mike

Well… how are ooooh?

It’s a fright to Christ the Irish race has lasted this long.

God bless Guinness and Gin

It’s been a long time kid.

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Plain old “Can I get you a drink?”


Go up to the bar and play a game with a one. Bet her you can get served before her and whoever loses has to pay for the round. Make sure you lose.

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“Have you ever been to Brazil?”

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Don’t ever use lines. Just try catch her eyes. Girls aren’t totally simpleton. Eye contact is enough to know if they are interested.

Alright Luke fucking Skywalker.

Mere mortals need to use a bit of charm and a whole lot of luck


Takes far too much time. It’s 12am Saturday evening. They are either interested or they are not.

They ain’t leaving the pub until closing. Regardless.

You need the long game now.

May be offer them a few lines instead @Tank

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One of the classics, never did it myself is to take a block of ice from a drink, throw it on the ground and stand on it.

“Now we’ve broken the ice, let’s have a chat”

Or yeah, stare at her or offer her drugs :confounded:


Did you stamp on it with your brown pointy shoes?


Have you seen my perri winkle pickers?

I’d say you’d get thrown out of fitzsimmons for that carry on.