A cobble up
Id ate that
Honest to God the first thing I thought of when I saw that was the little pouches of dog food in jelly I give the terriers for breakfast and lunch
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A donkeys bollocks
The stew was in the freezer, think it was a beef Borgoinonor whatever that’s called
The puff pastry pie left over from lunch, the cube potatoes are my new go to
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He’s an awful needy cunt.
Says the pot 
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Best before date says three months at least
If it was opened I’d cut the exposed bit off and eat within a couple of weeks
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Forever really. Already cured. By law, they have to put a use by date on it. Might get a bit of mould but thats just on the casing.
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They don’t make them like that anymore
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You’ll never go home…… The top accolade - I’d ate that. 
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I went for seconds of a few things there alright.
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Ah fab. The mother in law used feed me til I’d faint. Herself would be trying to tell her he’s had enough (worried about setting expectations). Indeed’n he has not.
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Tis a wonder you ever felt reason to move out
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If he was still living at home he’d be lucky to get egg and chips 
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That’s what I’m talking about, far too many pretentious cunts posting absolute cack on their plate.