Red Alert....Papal Flag Flying

Will he be a blackie or a spic??

He’ll almost certainly be a child molester.

an arch conservative is what im hearing

he has blamed feminism for homosexuality:clap:

They’re only voting on when the new Pope will be elected.

That’s a given mate

Stood down to yellow alert… Sorry for any terror caused.

I expect whoever it is to be elected by a wafer thin majority.

I’m putting all members on stand by…

Catholics know.

Just like big jock did??

Jock did what?

He knew…

But you said “Big Jock did”?

Go way and have a wank for your self. You are wound up tighter than usual…

Please try to clarify yourself a little better in future and we won’t have these issues.

My mate in the Swiss Guards texted me to say that the missionary position is to be banned under the new pontiff. However reverse cowgirl will now be ok. This will certainly reduce confession time for alot of people and is to be welcomed.

Also rumours floating around that an exception will be made for protein shakes in the 1 hour fast before receiving the eucharist.

This is it lads- all hands to the pumps. We are expecting an 8pm (GMT) finish… The world awaits with bated breath.

I hear it’s between a Brazilian and a wop Paulie-any insider info as to who’s in front?

http://www.theonion.com/articles/nervous-pope-candidate-changes-wine-into-jesus-chr,31632/

[SIZE=6]Nervous Pope Candidate Changes Wine Into Jesus Christ’s Urine[/SIZE]

VATICAN CITY—While undergoing the selection process at the ongoing papal conclave, anxious pope candidate Cardinal Gianfranco Ravasi accidentally transformed the sacramental wine into Jesus Christ’s urine, the embarrassed church official confirmed Tuesday. “Shit, nobody drink that, it’s piss,” said a flustered Ravasi, moments after discovering he had transubstantiated the brimming contents of a Eucharist goblet into the Holy Messiah’s urine in front of more than 100 cardinals. “I swear, I’ve consecrated the altar wine into the blood of Christ a thousand times, but I just got so nervous with everyone watching me. Man, that smells nasty.” The bishop added that he hadn’t been this ashamed since an infamous 2003 Communion ceremony in which he distractedly converted the sacramental bread into a hardened disc of the Son of God’s fecal matter.