There but for the grace of God pal, if I had to live in the cesspit that you call home and spent my life drinking alone and masturbating to violent pornography then it may also lead me down the road where I assume that a real woman in the real world also enjoys being assaulted (massive rowback from the flip floppers about the slap her around comment), lord knows if I was to find some poor single mother of 4 like your pals missus to share my misery i may stoop to any depravity.
You poor poor fucker, would you not think about coming home and rebuilding your life. There’s probably an internet connection in the shithole you came out of now, there’s even Costa coffee here now.
What’s for dinner tonight fella, that gone off shit in Morrissons can be grand tack sometimes and it’ll save you money for the Ace.
I’ll continue to pray for you.
you have been rumbled mate, we are onto to you now, you bate the wife, you rotten cunt
My God, you’re a pathetic fucker 
what’s for dinner pal, the gone off shit went on sale a while back and you can always use that till where you scan the shit yourself to avoid human contact. 
although this fella even managed to meet a woman at some stage, everytime I see your house though I think of him.
You’ve never met a woman who likes her arse cheeks redened have you kid?
What type of women have you met?
Row row row back your boat
What are you on about exactly?
Gently down the stream
Ok you win.
Most lads here like a few slaps when you’re riding them?
Correct you old coot. Did you ever take your socks off for it kid?
I think I’d leave my socks on for you.
Paying Hookers extra so you can make yourself feel like a hard man by slapping them around? Sounds right up your street alright.
Ah here, he only SAID he’d slap her around, it appears that what he MEANT was that he’d give her a bit of a tip on the backside,
I’d say the bible is pretty cool with slapping birds around anyway so nothing to worry about there.
how often would you hit the missus? after a few pints?
You’ve started on the ace 
Listen mate, to be honest a joke is a joke but that’s a bit low.
Well mate, this is a sad development and a huge disappointment from someone that I thought had a bit of a reputation. For absolutely no reason whatsoever you’ve decided to portray me as a wifebeater, I can take a joke and I’ve taken plenty but many were of my own making. This is pathetic.
He’s punch drunk from all the hiding’s he’s taken in the last couple of weeks,go easy on him,I’m even going to give him a break tonight